KRYTEN 2X4B-523P

AHHHHHhhhh

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

listerofsmeg replied to your post: Hey Krytie, two cans of lager says I can beat you in Virtual Zero-G Football Platinum Edition! What do yeh’ say?

Kryten I want to play a game against you and I want you teh’ give it everythin’ you’ve got! I don’t want you to let me win, what would be the fun in that!

But, sir... You... You do remember the last time, don't you? You kept saying "Give it everythin' you've got, Kryten!" and you insisted that we keep playing until you won a match, sir! I thought it would never end!

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

Hey Krytie, two cans of lager says I can beat you in Virtual Zero-G Football Platinum Edition! What do yeh' say?

Ohohoho! I beg to differ, sir! Me and the gaming console are practically cousins! Well, technically second cousins but-- Unless... Sir... Would I be correct in assuming that it would please you to best me at Virtual Zero-G Football Platinum Edition?

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

Have you finished doing my laundry yet? I have important Q things to do.

Mister Q, I finished your laundry weeks ago! You collected it yourself! Surely you remember, sir! I used that delicious apple-scented washing detergent that makes clothes smell so good you could eat them! Actually... One time Mister Lister was slightly intoxicated and he-- But never mind that! Is it possible you've miscalculated your position on my timeline, sir?

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

listerofsmeg replied to your post: I love you, man. Could you make a vinadloo?

That kippers vindaloo you made me the other day was pretty good, maybe you could do that again :)

Kippers...? I'm not certain what you're-- Oh. Ah. Engage lie mode. Ah, yes. The kippers vindeloo. Right away, sir.

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

I love you, man. Could you make a vinadloo?

Oh, you know I love you too, Mister Lister! Could... Could I? Sir, I am honestly shocked that you would even need to ask that question! You say "Vindaloo?", I say "Chicken or beef?" Well... Actually... I think we're out of both meats but... I... I'm sure I can find some sort of substitute! Not to worry, sir! I'll have it ready in a flash!

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

listerofsmeg replied to your post:Ah! My, what a lovely holiday that was! Filtering...

Good to hear you had a nice holiday Kryten!

Thank you, sir! Oh, you should have been there! Well, actually... No, you shouldn't have... The chlorine trifluride would have killed you in minutes... But, sir, I had those big metal spatulas out and everything! Scraping away at that mould! It was no match for my years of cleaning experience and my pre-programmed sanitation techniques! Ohohoho!

[sexylightman]

I have watched some more of this Sherlock.

John Watson is a great man! He has a great military background but also quite humorous. He is also amazingly tolerant. He is a man with the patient of a saint. Comparing Lister to Sherlock I would much rather live with Lister. He is a bit of slob but I know that he is not a socio-path who acts like he is all superior when he knows it is not. 

[listerofsmeg-blog]

No, you’re the one who’s the sociopath who thinks he’s superior.

[sexylightman]

No Listy I am not a sociopath! Have I tried to kill you or any of the crew? I THINK NOT!

[listerofsmeg-blog]

Sociopath’s don’t kill people you gimboid they have a hard time interacting socially. Exhibit A: you’re response just now, smeghead.

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

Ah. Forgive the interruption but I feel the need to correct you there, Mister Rimmer, sir. Assuming my memory files haven't become corrupted, I seem you recall you did attempt to commit double homicide and one case of mechicide while under the influence of the holovirus.

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

Ah! My, what a lovely holiday that was! Filtering the unbreathable gases of R Deck was simply the most satisfying experience I've had for years! There was even a rather intriguing form of alien mould, that somehow managed to flourish in a chlorine trifluoride atmosphere, growing down there! There's a good possibility it caused the poisonous gas build-up in the first place. I had to trek all the way back to the supply cupboard on P Deck just to get the right equipment to clean it up! I assure you, it was all worth it for the thrill of a nice clean, mould-free environment capable of sustaining oxygen dependant life forms! I hereby announce the official release of the R Deck quarantine order!

[listerofsmeg-blog]

Lister laughed. “Don’t be shy! What have I got that I could possibly fault you on without being a certified hypocrite?” he brushed a strand of hair out of Sam’s eyes. “I’ve always loved green eyes.”

He flipped them over so Sam was beneath him one again and tangled his hands within her hair, simultaneously pressing himself on her. He could feel himself getting aroused and he was hungry for passion.

[gingermechanics-deactivated2013]

“Eheh, well than-“ Sam gave a little shriek of surprise as she was suddenly flipped backwards, her eyes wide with surprise as she gave a nervous little giggle. “Ye right there?”

The small woman gave a shaky breath as she felt Lister pressing himself against her, and noted his growing excitement. “H-hey, Dave?” Sam asked, tapping his back slowly. “Slow it down a wee bit, ‘e… ‘e don’ wanna go too fast with this, y’know?” 

[listerofsmeg-blog]

“Sorry,” Lister mumbled, “excited again.” He looked down at Sam, and due to is positioning his dreads had been flipped over his head and were now hanging over his face. “Tell you what,” he started, jerking his head to the side to try and get the hair out of his face, only for it to fall back into exactly the same spot, “you tell me exactly what you want. If you feel good, then I’ll feel good.” A simple enough proposition, for what Lister considered to be a simple enough situation.

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

"Sir, I've come to ask whether you'd--" Kryten stopped halfway through the door, "Oh. Miss Thomas, I-- I didn't expect to find you in here." The mechanoid's lips pressed together as he took in the entire scene. "I'll--" The pitch of his voice wavered involuntarily, "I'll come back later, sir."

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

(( Remember me? Yeah, that's right! It's LAZY ASS KRYTEN MUN! See, I'm not even going to deny how lazy I am. I could say I've been busy but the truth, I just really really really suck at doing things. That and Buffy marathons. So many Buffy marathons. I'll get some replies done tonight for sure and, if I don't, ALL OF YOU MUST TURN YOUR BACKS ON ME UNTIL I DO. GOT IT? Thank you for you attention. Krytie out. ))

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

*holds up banana* What's this?

It's a banana, sir. I highly recommend its consumption! Bananas, also known as musa acuminata, are an excellent source of potassium!

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

(( Ugh. I just got on and I've got to go again. Later, cool cats. ))

"'ello Kryt, 'ow's things?"

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

"Ahhh!" Kryten beamed, "Miss Thomas! How lovely to see you, ma'am! I was just making a cake for Mister Lister!" He rushed to clear the table of the crew's scattered belongings, "Do sit down, ma'am!"

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

(( I'm out for the day, folks. I shall make replyings when I return. ))

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

I haven't seen Miss Kochanski around for a very long while. It's a shame, really. I'd just added "move salad cream back to fridge" to my list of daily chores. It's really quite disheartening to violently fling open the cupboard doors only to find no salad cream bottle to relocate to the fridge in an equally indignant manner.

[noveltycondomhead-achive]

(( Well, I regret to inform you all that it is my time of departure. But have no fear, for I shall return on the morrow! Until then, smoke me a kipper-- say it with me, kids-- I'LL BE BACK FOR BREAKFAST. ))