the best of 1997

hi how are ya

[thebootydiaries]

You: May I have the bill?

Me, an intellectual: Might I acquire the William?

[tortellinigirl]

so i guess now im just supposed to develop an attention span of longer than 6 seconds and watch a “youtube video” like its fuckin colonial times

[chromolume]

with my school teachers it was like “omg they’re so cool i wanna be their friend!” but with university lecturers it’s like “they’re endearing and i love them like cats but are they okay because i think they know too much about 18th century german literature to survive in the world”

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

what, you can’t know who friedrich schiller is and also change a tire?

[chromolume]

literally no

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

this would have worked better if I personally knew how to change a tire

[mamasoygay]

@ironicdragonstrider mark my fucking worms

[newbarktownalumni]

Let’s see!!

[cptsdvarric]

@ anybody trying to give me verbal instructions

[theclash]

Just thought everyone should know that Paris Hilton dressed as a sexy Furby for a Halloween party in the year 2018

[brittany]

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina  |  1x02

[mishasminions]

THANOS OUT HERE STEALING HEARTS, BEING A TRUE VILLAIN

[rescueironman-deactivated201909]

Someone take away his Instagram. Please.

[i-had-a-lot-of-growing-to-do]

How the fuck is this guy better at memes than everyone on this site

[pukicho]

At the end of the day, we’re all just saying dumb shit then going to bed 

[celero-loves-dragons]

because that’s how it is in this bitch of an earth

[spillybun-deactivated20190921]

Instead of making fun of people who do things at an older age that are normally done younger ( like getting their diploma or GED, learning to drive, even learning to read ) how about you:

don’t

[incel-moved-deactivated20210803]

[parker-n-stark]

LITERALLY WHY IS JEFF GOLDBLUM AN INSTAGRAM THOT I DONTAJDLSJDLSLS

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

[codyslipring-deactivated2015060]

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

[tumblgang]

She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.

[skuubasally]

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

[luckytaters]

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

[saudadesinfinitas-deactivated20]

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

[drayaintshit-deactivated2019030]

☝🏾😂

[callmedeku24]

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

[emeraldmercury]

Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her

[haiku-robot]

idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

[jacobmick]

Because wise, I am.

[seymonecristina]

Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys

[blackgirlart]

2 million people aren’t wrong

[sj0]

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

[hersheyhipster]

Couldn’t risk it.

[justjengie]

didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.

[pinayputa]

THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT

[burntcopper]

…I’m not seeing anything wrong, per se.

[queenoftheimps]

this was great, but the part that’s killing me is Netflix’s follow-up

[nitewrighter]

You know that whole trope where like, the protagonists get teleported up into the aliens’ spaceship or base or whatever and the alien appears to them only it doesn’t appear as it really looks like but rather, since it doesn’t want to scare the protagonists, it takes the form of something we find familiar and pleasing and is like, “I look like your dad or whatever–is this form okay?” Like I think about that trope a lot and I think like, what if the alien couldn’t pick out a form via telepathy and only had earth media to try and decide what form would scare its human guests least and be accepted almost immediately and honestly the more I think about it the more options for what form that might be are just really fun to me.

“I have chosen the form of your earth playwright and composer Lin-Manuel Miranda–do not be afraid. I come in peace.”

“Greetings. I am Glofnorbo of the cloud you call the ‘Pegasus Nebula.’ I have scanned your earth media from afar and empirically decided that you would find the form of the one known as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson most pleasing. I have come to confer with your leaders.” 

“Do not be panic. I come in peace. I have assumed the form of your insectoid demigoddess ‘Hatsune Miku’ so that we may communicate peacefully without my true form horrifying you.” 

[nineprotons]

“It was decided that I would assume the form of your ‘Mister Rogers’ in order to best welcome your world to the galactic neighborhood without frightening your kind.”

[gentlemanbones]

“…So did your colleague take on the form of Jack Black for that reason too?”

“No, that is the actual Jack Black. We do not know how to make him leave.”