Not Your Safe Space

19, they/them, nullsex enben, Battle Axe Bisexual, proud exclusionist and truscum, AuDHD. I’ll respect you if you respect me. I use and appreciate tone tags, but not excessively please.

[succliberation]

"I'm catgender but I don't identify as a cat."

Okay but trans women identify as women. Why are you pretending your experiences are similar enough that they can fit under the same umbrella? The fundamental way you identify is completely different from transgender people just in your own words.

[shaftking]

If you have a list of pronouns or you collect pronouns or identities or you need a link that explains how to use your obscure made up pronouns then you need to get help and get over yourself.

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[papa-rhys]

“They’re not cancelling chemo appointments for the queens funeral, they’re just rearranging them for another date”

Ah yes, cancer, the disease that’s famously known for not being highly time sensitive

[mossworm]

people are curious about my gender! my gender is I don't care. I'm afab and I use my birth name & girl pronouns professionally for convenience but otherwise I am missing the part of my brain that cares about it. call me whatever

[bi-kisses]

Congrats! That's how it feels to be cis

[dykeselfcest]

the real “problem with political correctness” is not that it’s considered offensive to use slurs, but that there are now many “progressive” environments where saying the right things is more important than doing the right thing. it’s why it’s so easy for abusers to gain traction in leftist circles (they learn the right words quickly and employ them to frame their own behavior as progressive); it’s why so much potential activist energy gets poured into fighting about language; it’s why moderate liberals didn’t believe fer/guson had a problem until the police emails with actual racist language were leaked. (you can do racist things, you just can’t SAY racist things.) i don’t have a neat conclusion here but a related point is that i’m so much happier since i started focusing on like, being a good kind caring person instead of trying to remove the word “crazy” from the vocabulary of everyone in my family

[1dietcokeinacan]

Just saying this is truly one of the best “discourse” posts on this site like……this hits the nail directly on the head re: what is going on with language right now and everyone pushing back in the notes only serves to further prove the point it’s making

[discourse-of-course]

Forever baffled that some people think asexuality is a spectrum. No, asexuality isn't a spectrum. Allosexuality, however, is. There are may ways to experience attraction, there is only one way to not experience attraction: to not.

[no-pennies4thoughts]

It's so funny how people will say "nonbinary people and gender-neutral pronouns have existed for centuries!" without also acknowledging that nonbinary identities, more often than not, are the result of people wanting to escape strict gender roles (when they're not a result of transphobia, that is). I've seen people bring up certain pieces of 20th-century radical feminist writing as if that doesn't prove my point. In an egalitarian society, no one would be nonbinary because no one would need to be.

Yes, even Indigenous cultures, which these same people love to bring up, aren't exempt from this either; there's some blatant "more in tune with nature"/noble-savage type racism in the way enbies talk about things like two-spirit, but the reality is that these identities are just as much the result of the culture having extremely strict ideas and rules on what makes someone a man or woman.

The concept of two genders isn't a western Christian invention either; these people are thinking of western gender roles.

A lot of the claims are done with very little research actually done, and often times no actual conversation with people from said culture (if it's still around).

Every single historical example is always some variation of "these people don't fit our standards and will be separated for it." I remember people getting all excited about this one culture (can't remember which one) where as they looked at it, trans women lived in temples and were given special treatment. When in actuality it was just gay men being forced to do drag (sometimes even medically transition) and sold into prostitution after being stripped of all rights.

Two spirits is it's whole thing in itself. It's not a new gender and any talk with someone who's actually grew up within native american culture can tell you that. I often find people who are like "I'm 1/8th Cherokee" but grew up in a suburb are the ones that talk about it like it's a non binary thing and it's very frustrating to see.

There are historical and even current examples of cultures with vastly different gender roles then western societies. But they still had a gender binary. And trying so desperately to force historical evidence doesn't look good. It's not there, and that's ok.

Like I've said before, I don't actually have a problem with nb as a concept. It's how the community has decided to approach it. Conflating gender with gender roles, saying that women who don't wanna be objectified are not women, giving out incorrect historical information, just general transphobia/homophobia, etc etc. It's just... So ridiculous honestly.

[vampish-glamour]

So, I’ve heard a lot about “choosing pronouns”.

I once read a sentence that was like “my kid will get to choose their pronouns!!!”

Pronouns are not something you choose!!!

They are something that come with your gender, and they’re something people use to make it easier to identify you.

You’re a cis or trans girl? Your pronouns are she/her.

You’re a cis or trans guy? Your pronouns are he/him.

You’re nonbinary? Your pronouns are they/them.

These are not things you choose. They’re things you are. They’re things that come with who you are.

“Choosing pronouns” implies there’s many pronouns to choose from like they’re perfumes prettily lined up on a store shelf. “Choosing pronouns” implies that pronouns don’t actually have meaning, they’re just stickers we can choose from. “Choosing pronouns” makes absolutely no sense.

Trans people don’t “choose” their pronouns. They transition into using the pronouns that don’t give them a sense of dysphoria when they’re used to describe them.

It’s just ridiculous to act as if pronouns are something we can “choose” from like they’re some sort of fun accessory. That’s just not how pronouns work.

[nannotual-moved-deactivated2021]

i love love loooove when people make up these arbitrary rules for bisexuality based on absolutely fucking nothing like "uh actually bisexual is when you care about looks" and "bisexuals have a preference while pansexuals don't!" me thinks you people need to go outside and like. have a face to face conversation with someone. i think that's the issue here.

[nannotual-moved-deactivated2021]

do y'all realize that the shit you're saying about bisexuality is biphobic... you're saying that bisexuals are shallow and we only care about looks and we have preferences and can't possibly have equal attraction to other genders etc. like y'all paint pansexuality as this haven with that hearts not parts bullshit which just makes bisexuality look restrictive in comparison... i'm fucking sick of it! y'all are making up all these rules for bisexuality that never fucking existed in the first place just to paint pansexuality as more woke and progressive... literally go chew on fucking glass.

[nannotual-moved-deactivated2021]

"pansexuality includes enbies but bisexuality doesn't" YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST MAKING SHIT UP AT THIS POINT SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!

[harvest-oak]

Seeing the light return in trans women’s eyes after they have their gender confirmation surgery is such a beautiful experience. It’s why I’m proudly a transmedicalist, because every trans person who has dysphoria deserves to have experiences like this.

[havingrevelations-deactivated20]

the whole harry styles thing is so funny. being ‘queer’ may have been made into a personality trait, a music genre, a series of marketable fashion styles and a woke political statement by a capitalistic system desperate to commodify a minority’s culture. but being gay is literally just… being homosexual. no matter how many dresses harry styles wears, if he is not gay then he is not gay. the end. gay sex is gay sex!!! and shall remain for ever and ever amen

[pissvortex]

person in the notes saying this post is biphobic because they consider him bisexual

[shrimpmandan]

Actually fuck it I’m taking this out of the tags and turning it into a full reblog because I have more to say on this than I thought I would.

OP is 100% right that ‘queerness’ has, more or less, been made into an aesthetic. This isn’t some big revelation or anything, but it amazes me how many people think that this fact doesn’t have real world consequences. Consequences on how LGBT people are perceived, and how people profit off of our existence in the most shallow way possible, having never actually experienced any of the pain, joy, struggle, or otherwise unique experience with realizing and coming to terms with your sexuality and gender.

Actual LGBT artists get ignored, erased, and lost to time because our existence tends to make people uncomfortable, even though they wouldn’t readily admit that. Our struggles, how we experience the world, our raw, unfiltered emotions and perspectives aren’t actually wanted, no matter how many people tout that they support minorities and minority artists. Just like how cishets enjoy the shallow aesthetic of ‘being queer’, they also enjoy the shallow aesthetic of supporting minority groups, because it makes them feel better about themselves. But if asked to actually listen to those minorities, they’ll suddenly lose interest, because they’ll realize we’re whole, complex people and not marketable archetypes that exist only to service the cishets in their lives. I’m far from one of those “ew cishets are yucky” people, but it’s still gross how so many people who claim to be LGBT allies really only view us as accessories to their own person in some form.

People like Harry Styles, REGARDLESS of his actual sexuality, REGARDLESS of how he presents, contribute to this. He contributes to this idea that being LGBT is an aesthetic, a lifestyle. He wants to market to ‘the gays’ without any of the integrity involved. Have I seen people recycle biphobic sentiments to criticize Harry Styles? Yes, yes I have. People saying that Harry Styles only publicly dating women is an issue are 100% being biphobic, regardless of his actual sexual orientation. But, that doesn’t change the fact that Harry Styles is still a disconnected celebrity prick who can only be called an “LGBT artist” is the absolutely LOOSEST sense, with none of the integrity or emotional honesty actually involved in making your identity apart of your art. I guarantee if I made public art about my identity and my experience, I’d be accused of being homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, whatever else, because people are so used to these sanitized, unchallenging pieces of LGBT media and art that they feel uncomfortable with anything that’s too honest, too brutal, too reflective of our actual reality. SO many people call genuinely influential pieces of LGBT media problematic without at all considering the standards of the time, or even just the human experience of the person behind the film, art, or writing. People have become too comfortable in marketable, borderline corporate gayness. And while Harry Styles is not a sole contributor to this, he represents a piece of a larger problem with LGBT media, corporatism, celebrity culture, and disconnected activism as a whole.

[unbotheredmuse]

[depsidase]

[such-justice-wow]

I know someone who named their kid Teddy Bear and it fills me with rage

[left-reminders]

[anomalousmortem-deactivated2025]

ADNB

ADNB, Actually Dysphoric Nonbinary, or transX, are nonbinary Transmedicalists who abides by the Transmedicalist ideology (body/gender dysphoria and incongruence are inevitable for a transgender and transsexual individual). 

- Most ADNBs do not consider xenogenders as under the transgender/nonbinary umbrella, as it does not fulfill the features of in the gender spectrum.

Flags created by @kuroshirocourse 

The term ‘transX’ is coined by @m3lonfox​ (u/m3lonkat) 

Nullsex

A nullsex nonbinary individual who is dysphoric for having sexual characteristics. They desire to undergo gender nullification surgery and HRT to alleviate their dysphoria/incongruence.

https://www.reddit.com/r/truNB/wiki/index/nullsex

Duosex 

A duosex nonbinary individual who is dysphoric for not having mixed sexual characteristics (of male and female).  They desire to undergo HRT and surgery to diminish their dysphoria/incongruence.

https://www.reddit.com/r/truNB/wiki/index/duosex

[kalelraejepsen-deactivated20231]

i’m taking the words “fetish” and “kink” away from the internet until you people learn what sexual attraction is

[kalelraejepsen-deactivated20231]

objectification too like it's called "objectification" because the subject of someone's sexual desire is being treated as an object with no desires of their own. there's nothing wrong with thinking a person is sexy as long as you don't forget they're a person. holy shit people

[friedloverballoon]

Based take with a based username