the Patrix

living in harmony

[noah-wyles]

all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again

[fluoritegalaxy]

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

immediately and deeply obsessed with any mammal that adapts into the Sneefling Snorfer niche

Black and rufous sengi - Rhynchocyon petersi

Aardvark - Orycterops afer

Western long-beaked echidna - Zaglossus bruijnii

Star-nosed mole - Condylura cristata

Giant anteater - Myrmecophaga tridactyla

Russian desman - Desmana moschata

Short-beaked echidna - Tachyglossus aculeatus

[nunuisancenewt]

Lowland streaked tenrec, greater bilby, numbat, wild boar, greater pangolin, and nine banded armadillo for a few more examples :)

[scribefindegil]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the magic ratio for ganache (a firm one, such as you would use to make truffles or enrobe a cake) is 1 tablespoon of heavy cream per one ounce of chocolate. Chop the chocolate (or use chips), then boil the cream, immediately pour it over the chocolate, and whisk until smooth. People get so impressed whenever I make ganache but it is literally so easy. When it's freshly made you can dip fruit or cookies in it or use it to fill doughnuts, and if you let it cool and harden somewhat you can roll spoonfuls into balls to make truffles or use it as a filling for sandwich cookies. Also if you're feeling gremlinous you can just eat it with a spoon.

[scribefindegil]

Important addendum I discovered last year: the above is the magic ratio specifically if you are using dark chocolate (which I always was because it's my favorite). The process is the same, but for milk chocolate the ratio is 1 tablespoon of heavy cream per 1.5oz of chocolate and for white chocolate it's 1 tablespoon of heavy cream per 2oz of chocolate. This is because milk and white chocolate have less chocolate per chocolate so they behave differently. Now you know. Go forth and make delicious ganaches.

[amanda-jess27-deactivated201908]

Grading my 3rd graders papers and I see this 😭

[lizzey-deactivated20191029]

the mood for 2019

[wildlyunlikelybabe]

HONEY what a mood.

[weevil-mastermind]

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.

[vintar]

[academicabyss]

[littlewildmother]

Studies show that engaging in ritualized behavior significantly improves outcomes on measures of grief and feelings of control, even when the person participating in the ritual has little or no belief in the ritual’s power. Just a reminder for no one in particular.

[littlewildmother]

Research has revealed that, while rituals are universal across human cultures, the content and actions of those rituals vary widely even when they have the same intended purpose. This suggests that it is not the actions that matter, but that you are taking any action at all and naming it ritual. It can be an elaborate ritual with dozens of moving parts and participants, or it can be as simple as lighting a candle alone with the intent to remember someone.

The healing is in the doing.

[epiphainie]

you listen to rubber soul and it's like banger lyrics after banger lyrics

[februarytrash]

[djbodyhorror]

jerkin it. And by jerkin. Lerts just say. A sleeveless jacket or coat

[missandryifyourenasty]

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

[notogdenjesse]

This is one my favourite things the internet has ever made.

[missandryifyourenasty]

!!!!!!

[bioluminescently-unfolding]

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.

[sashayed]

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

[boomstab-papa]

[your-cosmic-creature]

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

[twocubes]

what if you combined a pressure cooker and a deep fryer and made a pressure fryer, the most dangerous kitchen implement in history

[baedlyweathered]

does this imply you want to heat cooking oil to past its boiling point at one atmosphere

[iatrophilosophos]

Its real and its called a broaster.

[garaged0g]

*grabs america by the shoulders* we have got to lock the fuck in. south asia and the middle east are running goddamn circles around us. we have got to come up with a more dangerous way of cooking food now or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

[kenta-nikki]

今日の狩り

[kaijuno]

This is what it’s like living in Michigan

[the-new-mandalor]

It’s a Monty Python skit.

[flyingwerecats]

Guy: *Singing* I’m doing some fishing…

Officer: *Emerges from the water with a grunt* You there, Sir!! I certainly hope you’ve got a fishing license!

Guy: *Panicking* Wha, no, I don’t!

Officer: Oh no?

Guy: *Screaming*

Officer: I’ll have you beheaded!!

[hclark70]

As a Michigan native,  I confirm this is all true.

[gotshadowbanned-feralfungii]

[pitbolshevik]

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

[pitbolshevik]

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

[pitbolshevik]

omw to go sit in your pool

[gaymageclub]

this is why kennedy space center had to install fancy outward-curving fences around the launchpad, bc gators climbing over regular fences and getting on the launchpad could be very dangerous

[songsofwaterandnight]

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

[weaselle]

turns out they climb trees too. Like regularly. they tend to do it a lot less once they reach certain sizes, but like several crocodilian species turn out to have a whole development period where they spend a lot of time in trees, and we just never knew that until like 2014 because, understandably, nobody who was studying them thought “i wonder if I should look for a bunch of crocodiles up in the trees”

[frottinq]

new phobia just dropped

[turnipfritters]

haters will see multi-talented queens and develop a phobia

[terminusverge]

Of course they can climb trees. Have none of you heard of Navi-gators? They can go everywhere.

[were--ralph]

Listening to Hotel California on the store radio and they muted the word "kill" when he says "but they just can't kill the beast" like what are we doing here has humanity not suffered enough

[were--ralph]

Update: they played it again and also muted "stab" from the line "they stab it with their steely knives". Insane.

[were--ralph]

They fuck it with their steely knives but they just can't fuck the beast

[eyeronmaus]

Clearly enjoying himself on the set of “The Not So Jolly Roger”🏴‍☠️