Always Having Proud Dad Moments

i want to delete this blog bu i'm too attached to the url

[mizomei]

A black tressym for the fall season! Would you want one as a pet?

[fite-club]

“aces are valid” and “cishet aces aren’t lgbt” are not contradictory statements

[galaxygoneforever-deactivated20]

Hi, I reblogged a post you made discussing pan people and I was wondering if you could talk me through why you believe pansexuality is biphobic? Thank you

In the post you reblogged from me there were 4 different links to information about bisexual history and 'bi vs pan'. There are also multiple links to more bisexual resources on my carrd (on my pinned post)

but i will link some here (x) (x) (x) (x)

and regarding this: "I am pansexual and for 3 years I thought I was bisexual. I saw bisexuality as liking men and women ( including trans ) but then realised I liked my friend who is gender fluid and instead decided I was pan."

THIS^ is the problem. and the first link addresses it. But if this statement isn't proof that pansexuality is reliant on ignorance, misinformation and bi erasure, idk what is...

[mo0oshro0om]

That's definitely an interesting take on it but I believe that because of the way that definitions have changed over time that people have tried to separate the sexualities people might have got offended.

I think that you might need to understand that not every bisexual person is panphobic and not every pansexual person is biphobic. It's just a little mean to be invalidating a whole communities sexuality like that and I'm sure you wouldn't like anyone saying these kinds of things to you or about lesbians.

I'm just asking if you could stop with these posts putting bisexual and pansexual people against each other when we should be sticking together as a community cause who really cares who likes who and what label people have as long as that they are happy. Considering the things we could be trying to argue about like how pedophiles are trying to get into the LGBT community this just seems a bit peculiar...

So yes, I understand that your views differ with others but putting it out in the internet in this way can upset people like it upset me so if you could kindly stop and take your thoughts elsewhere or discuss it with others who agree with you that would be lovely.

Thanks

[galaxygoneforever-deactivated20]

so, you're sticking with the ignorance then, huh?

[the-rice-cat-deactivated2021070]

tucutes: you can choose what gender you want to be

transphobes: yeah!

tucutes, just different transphobes: so choose trans

transphobes: so choose cis

tucutes: pronouns aren’t gendered

transphobes: yeah!

tucutes: so i can make up any pronouns

transphobes: so i can misgender tr@nnies

tucutes: you dont need dysphoria

transphobes: yeah!

tucutes: so i can be trans whilst being comfortable as my birth gender

transphobes: so theres no reason anyone has to actually be trans

tucutes: i can dress in dresses and be completely feminine and still be seen as a ftm

transphobes: yeah!

tucutes: so i can be a soft femme boii uwu

transphobes: so tr@nnies can look like their birth gender and admit its a delusion

transmeds, whether gnc trans people, gc trans people, gnc cis people, and cis transmeds: they’re like twins

[kayrowsyrup]

Transmeds:

[dukeofdelirium]

gettin real tired of tucutes trying to use intersex people as a pawn in their game to push this false narrative that biological sex isn’t real and that there are no true differences between sexes and that as a result, there is an infinite gender spectrum 🙄

[barbidreamdumpster-deactivated2]

pushing bi people to give up their ID in favour of pan/multi/whatever, is demanding that they alienate themselves from a community that is already hard to find and a history that is already erased because you have a rudimentary understanding of etymology and can’t stand the fact that bi, in this instance, does not necessarily mean 2

a word is not more important than our safety and asking us to cut ourselves off from what minimal resources we have to better fit within your understanding of language is such a disgusting, fucked up thing to do

shut the fuck up and leave bi people alone.

[boygirlz]

i won't redefine my sexuality or change my identity to make pansexuals more comfortable in the community bisexuals have built

a pansexual friend of mine was truly fucking stumped when i said "yeah im bisexual and nonbinary, my attraction is regardless of gender. i actively choose the bisexual label as a way of fighting back against biphobia and misconceptions surrounding my sexuality and it's community/history"

all they could say was "but..but it's not the same thing" and im sorry but if both of us defining our sexualities the same way and using different labels makes u that uncomfortable maybe u have some internalized ideas about bisexuality u need to overcome like i did

[jewishfreakshow]

Have you guys considered maybe being trans isn't awful, terrible, or ruining your life

But maybe it's transphobic cis people making your life difficult... Like have you ever considered that maybe it's the opressors fault for the oppression and not a 14 yr old on trauma that isn't asahmedd of being trans... Have you ever thought abt that...

[noblepeasant]

"Could it be that the feeling that my body doesn't fully belong to me is actually quite distressing?"

"No. It's because I'm oppressed"

[dashaibo]

Yeah, wanting to take a knife to my genitals is just because the society oppresses me.

[bi-kisses]

ah yes, if Society were nicer, then all the parts of transition like surgeries and recovery periods, passing and easing dysphoria, knowing your bio sex is at odds with your brain, etc. would all disappear!

[xxxxxxxx77892933]

yes of course my debilitating mental illness would be cured by... society being nice 😐

[allofungus]

y’all will make up fifty different ways to avoid saying bisexual and then act like it’s bi erasure to let lesbians have three words

[bisexyenby]

Good point. Bisexual history is already erased by micro label after micro label, why not let lesbians participate? Just a little biphobia...as a treat <3

[bugchat-blog]

the word ‘bisexuality’ is a taboo

it isn’t said on tv. orange is the new black, for example, features a bisexual protagonist who points out the biphobia at one point in assuming she can’t be attracted to multiple genders, but no one Ever says the word and she is ignored and referred to as a straight girl or a lesbian depending on the situation

other bisexual characters later turn out to have been Really Monosexual All Along. or are attractive, promiscuous women with commitment issues

this isn’t a coincidence.

people who are attracted to multiple genders, when asked about it, often describe themselves as “Fluid”. “I’d rather not label it.” “I don’t need to define it.” “It’s just whatever.” as if people are afraid of even implying the b word (EDIT: PLEASE READ CLARIFICATION HERE i did not mean to imply fluid is a bad term on its own. it really isn’t. not wanting to label yourself isn’t a bad thing either.)

this isn’t a coincidence.

the word ‘bisexual’ gets you different reactions in different places. straight people think you’re either faking for attention or a deviant. straight men are afraid of bi men and think bi women are just particularly promiscuous straight girls who want to have threesomes with them

gay men accuse bi men of being in the closet. lesbians accuse bi women of being straight girls going through a phase. and the ones who don’t do either of these things still often assume bisexuals are promiscuous, indecisive, and can’t settle down.

the theme throughout is that bisexually is illegitimate, deceptive, and always a front for something else.

this isn’t a coincidence

people are constantly encouraged to 'settle down’, to 'just pick one’, to 'not be greedy’. abandon bisexuality. you’re really gay. you’re really straight. you’re too young. how can you know you’re bisexual at 16? 18? 20? 25?

this isn’t a coincidence

the word 'bisexuality’ is constantly, persistently manipulated, by people who aren’t bisexual at all. the meaning twisted on shallow rationale. accused of being transphobic, or of being exclusionary. this has been happening for over 20 years now despite the existence of outspoken trans and/or non-binary bisexuals. whatever they can do to make you not say the word. pick a different one.

this isn’t a coincidence

bisexual people - whether implied or literally, deliberately saying they are bisexual using the word - are constantly rewritten as gay or as straight. gay icon. he was never interested in men. bi actor comes out? headlines say 'came out as gay’, or articles outright ignore it

it’s never, ever a coincidence. bi erasure is a constant, ongoing thing.

[reblogtimebaby]

Why you should look at trender tags

I find it kind of relaxing to look at trender or tucute tags, here’s some stuff that often shows up:

- That simplistic chunky kind of art style that’s done by amateur artists who are good enough to draw people but need to stick to their style for it to look good

- Picrew stuff

- This 3D animated app thingy, looks customisable? Like picrew but 3D. I’m too old to know what it’s actually called

- A lot of aesthetic posts, many sparkly things

- A lot of recoloured flags, like a rainbow flag but ‘orange themed’ so you can’t really tell it’s a rainbow except for the fact they both have stripes

- Really bad grammar, and an overuse of emojis and punctuation - I reckon intentionally for the most part

- A lot of uuuh…childish arguments? The whole ‘friendly reminder’ and ‘minecraft isn’t for trandmeds’ or ‘anime character hates transphobes!’

- Lotta cringe culture celebrating. Many rainbows and neon.

- Positivity so strong it’s toxic

- A lot of memes

and it’s nice to see these things because it reminds you that the majority of trenders, tucutes, all that sort, are actually just children. Their brains haven’t finished developing, they’re incapable of actual reasoning or debate, and they’re just having fun with serious issues because they have yet to experience the complexities of life. It’s just a defence mechanism. A big hugbox of ‘everything is valid’, and overreaction to the ills of society. Nobody need fear they’ll have an actual impact on lgbt rights because they’ll grow up and calm down and shake their heads at their cringey phase. It’s just otherkin all over again, and do we see species on drivers licenses? So yeah no need to even try and teach them. Neopronouns, xenogenders, trenders, they’ll all fade in time.

[numberonesharkgiver]

So uh, we’re a transmed account, like. Very clearly transmed. Transmed, exclus, pan is phobic, that kind of account

But this kind of... isn’t a good post op

The trender tags definitely have all of this content, yes, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Hell, we celebrate cringe culture and some of us overuse emojis and forget about grammar and all, even though the host is an experienced writer.

But then you had to make that last part. First of all, a lot of these people are neurodivergent, and labelling neurodivergent people as ‘childish’ or calling them ‘children’ is ableist as fuck. Calling their interests and aesthetics ‘cringey’ is also ableist as fuck. And you’ll find that actually a large majority are sixteen upwards, a lot in their twenties. Tucutes aren’t only children. Saying such is disrespectful, and the first part of a debate is respect.

A large number of the people posting here have experienced hardships, including transphobia, homophobia, bullying, and some have very real trauma. And not just ‘transmeds bullied me online’ trauma, I mean abuse, grooming, SA, so on so forth. I do think that some of these people have fun with serious issues and that is a negative thing in most cases, but in a way I get it. As long as that stays in their safe spaces and they acknowledge that these issues are real and important otherwise and do not glorify them, there’s not really much of a problem. Not everyone on this site/app is here for a debate, and some come to escape reality. Using this place as a defence mechanism is valid and often extremely helpful for nd and mentally ill people as well as those struggling in general.

Also otherkin is still a thing and is generally harmless and a healing experience for people.

I am not a supporter of xenogenders, trenders, or of most neopronouns, neither are the other members of this account. This is a transmed account, and we have been transmeds for 5+ years. We have held the same strict beliefs for this entire time. But we have tucute friends, including adult tucutes.

I mean no hostility here, but really, this isn’t a good post op.

And please don’t crosstag these sorts of posts - it’s doing far more harm than good.

So, sincerely, from someone ‘on your side’, no.

[transcephalopod]

that melodramatic-ass post about how exclus destroyed ace communities and are the reason their dumbass card/dragon/cake terminology didn't catch on is making the rounds again and I've just gotta say.

(a) "Cake ace" or whatever the fuck is not anywhere near as historically and culturally significant as terms like butch or femme, for example, and it's ridiculous to pretend those things are the same kind of term or on the same level of significance

(b) if your entire community and history can be erased by lgbt people online saying you're not inherently lgbt, while lgbt culture can survive decades upon decades of political and legal oppression, maybe you have a weak fucking community that apparently depends entirely on lgbt people carrying you

[universefemme]

Also the "culture" is nothing more than shallow fandom levels bullshit

[transcephalopod]

it's because they've based their entire personalities off ultimately meaningless labels they can put in their bios next to their hogwarts houses

[athetosisdreams]

Medicalizing being trans is about:

Making it easier and cheaper for trans people to get hrt and surgery under insurance

Making de-transitioners less common

Medicalizing being trans is NOT about:

Telling anyone if they are or are not trans because their dysphoria doesn’t match a “one size fits all” model

[enbycourse]

Remember that wanting to make detransitioners less common doesn’t mean it’s not okay to detransition! We make mistakes! We have phases! We just wanna prevent people from medically transitioning and finding out the hard way :)

[shaftking]

as a lesbian i agree w ur post and more people should spread the nb terms like feminamoric (similar to lesbian but for nb people) and not use the ones that are exclusive to women or men

Yeah there’s really no reason to call yourself a lesbian if you’re not a woman. There are terms made to describe the experience of a nonbinary person who is exclusively attracted to women. Trixic is a popular one if I’m not mistaken.

[lesbianismst]

identities based on misunderstanding

a lot of sexualities seem to be based on misunderstandings (deliberate or not) of other sexualities. some examples:

pansexuality is based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality, specifically that bisexuality is binary or transphobic or what have you

demisexuality, demiromanticism, and grey-asexuality are all based on a misunderstanding of how normal human sexuality works. the idea is that "allos" want sex/relationships all the time, and that the instant we spot a hot person, we become physically aroused, crave sex w them, and want to date them

if real life was actually like some people think it is, I think all of these would be valid identities. but it's not. in real life, bisexuality is inclusive of all genders. in real life, most people aren't constantly horny or willing to fuck/date the first hot person that comes their way.

the only way for these sexualities to continue to exist is for these misunderstandings to persist as well. but that shouldn't happen, because these misunderstandings are dangerous. painting bisexuals as regressive, and depicting "allosexual" lesbians, gay men, bisexual people, and trans people as sex-craved horndogs is literally rhetoric used to oppress the LGBT community.

so yeah, before you identify with one of these identities, consider what it says about how you understand regular LGBT people. if it's homophobic, shut it down.

[numberonesharkgiver]

I think a lot of it comes from the horrific high school environment where people are shamed for not wanting to fuck people and you're expected to be all into the sex jokes and GTA and shit like that and like

I know bc when our main mod was there he thought he was demisexual and asexual and then after that pansexual

and that's not accounting for how the mogai and aroace community harmed him in regards to his trauma, telling him not to seek out help, that not having sexual attraction at the ages of fuckin 10-14 is actually okay and pretty normal. and it's especially not accounting for how some of these things led him to think he had romantic attraction to girls, specifically his best friend who he trusted with his whole life. he thought that platonic love was romantic because apparently lgbt people can't have extremely close relationships with best friends without it being the fuckin q slur

like bruh can we normalise being a child and also can we normalise having best friends and being affectionate with ur best friends and can we normalise getting help for sex repulsion caused by trauma

can we normalise the fact that only experiencing attraction after knowing someone for AGES is really normal (host was friends with two of his ex partners for literal years before entering a relationship, this is normal)

but yeah no tl:dr so much of this is borne from misunderstanding and misinformation and it's actually OKAY to go through that misunderstanding but please don't ignore people when they try to explain it to you, it's not coming from hostility

[such-justice-wow]

I swear to god trans head canon posts and terf clocking posts are two sides of the same coin

"you can tell because of their height/face shape/hands/voice"

"they don't act like a real man/woman"

"look at the way they're dressed! No man/woman would dress like that"

Like i get relating to a character but can you like not sound so creepy about it. It's worse if it's a live action thing. That's a person you know??

[saintofpride201]

*cough* tomhollandspidermanheadcanons

[such-justice-wow]

Oh god I forgot about that bullshit

Short men exist ffs

[memecucker]

The way cultural appropriation discourse tells people to ignore any poc that contradict their anti-appropriation narrative because theyre non-Western or don’t have just the right type of identity label combinations reminds me of how MLM schemes especially large ones like Amway or HerbaLife tell recruits to ignore how it’s easy to find hundreds of people saying it’s a scam and they got ripped off because “failures try to bring other people down”. Like both narratives try to ground themselves in the experiences and testimony of people involved with the thing in question but do some sleight of hand to disqualify the countless examples of this same class of people contradicting the narrative being sold