Hard Pills to Swallow

https://truanism.carrd.co/ | think for yourself. Sporadically active. Blog where I post opinions. Mainly identity politics and other bullshit.

[bi-women-confess]

“China produces more rainbow flags than anyone. My nightmare is there is a factory with nearly slave labor, forced to live within the factory complex and get up every morning and have to churn out more and more rainbow tchotchkes.” He says he didn’t create the rainbow flag in order for others to profit off of “rainbow junk”.

He is horrified by some of the things he has seen. He says, “Walking down Castro Street, I can’t pay my rent, but I see rainbow dildos in the shop windows and rainbow keychains, rainbow rings, rainbow candles and so on.” He said it is similar to when the best music ends up as elevator music. He is gratified that the power of the rainbow caught on as rings, but that power can be diluted by over-commercialization.”

-Gilbert Baker, creator of the Pride Flag

[myragewillendworlds]

There is no such thing as "non-binary" transition, because there is no real "non-binary" sex to transition to, and no in-between sex to pause your transition at. There are only two sexes, so there are only male-to-female and female-to-male transition paths. You either change your natal sex along these paths, or you don't. Claiming your transition makes you "non-binary" either discredits the transition of actually transsexual people and insinuates you don't consider them real men and women -- or it perpetuates sexist ideas of what (cisgender) male and female bodies are supposed to look like. What does your idea, that deepening your voice slightly and gaining a little extra body hair makes you non-female, say about your idea of female bodies? Even if you went to the extreme of removing your primary sex characteristics, you'd still have to be on HRT to prevent problems long-term -- it'd still be one or the other. You are always going to be "binary". That's just biology.

"Non-binary" concepts can only be rooted in sexism. Because there is no such thing as a third sex category in human beings, so any notions of "non-binary" gender are going to be rooted in misconceptions about the two existing ones.

[truanism]

I forgot how annoying this website is.

[leviathan-supersystem]

people on tumblr are starting to develop a 4chan-esque internet tough guy complex about posting here, which is very funny given that this is the smol bean superwholock feels website

[beardedmrbean]

[punispompouspornpalace]

[Name redacted by me as these were sent off anon and I do not wish for this person to get in trouble]

I’m publishing these messages because I feel like they are a great example for demonstrating what’s wrong with the kind of attitude that seems to become more and more common among fandom spaces on Tumblr, namely that people have to disclose very private information to complete strangers to be allowed to draw/write certain things. To the person who sent these, please think about why you thought this was an appropriate question to ask someone. Not only are you expecting me to reveal personal details like this to a stranger, but a stranger who just called me a “fucker” and a “disgusting asshole”.

I’m going to use this as an opportunity to talk about this in broader terms, since I’ve seen a lot of people get attacked about the same thing.    This whole “you must be this traumatized to ride” mindset is incredibly fucked up, and while I’m glad that more and more people feel comfortable talking about their experiences publicly, it should always remain optional instead of required. There are many reasons why people want to keep such things private, and their choice should be respected. What about all the people who aren’t sure if their experience counts? What about all those raised as women who, while they may have never been sexually assaulted, have been taught to live in fear of it, or had to deal with catcalling and harassment, and seek such content as way to deal with those experiences? The people who haven’t been sexually abused, but were victims of other kinds of abuse? This is an incredibly complex and nuanced topic, and while “ only survivors are allowed to ship/write/draw it” might look reasonable at first, it assumes you have the right to dig through and judge other people’s incredibly private thoughts and experiences. No one has that right.

I mean, where will this end? At which point will people only be allowed to create or consume fanwork that mirrors the exact circumstances of their abuse - which also means they have to disclose the exact details of what they went through to complete strangers? Hell, recently I’ve seen a callout post that, after the artist who was being called out disclosed they were a sexually abused (and got accused of lying by the writer of said post) stated that she’s still problematic because she didn’t state the person she was abused by was a relative, so she’s still problematic for shipping anime characters that are related. How can someone look at real people’s lived experiences and tell them their abuse wasn’t the right kind of abuse, so they aren’t allowed to look or create certain types of fanworks? It’s honestly baffling to me how people can think they should be the ultimate judge on who has or who hasn’t been abused properly enough (and in the right ways) to graciously be granted permission to enjoy noncon fiction. 

There are problems with noncon fanworks, absolutely, but those usually consist of people not acknowledging/realizing that what they are writing is abuse/noncon. I brought 50SoG up a few times before, but it’s a good example because, in my opinion, the problem with it isn’t that it’s depicting an abusive relationship - it’s that the author doesn’t think that it’s abusive. That is the kind of shit that deserves to be called out, and not in a “show your victim card” way, but by explaining how the things being depicted qualify as abusive and non-consensual so that it can be properly tagged and warned for so people who are triggered by it can avoid it.

Tumblr user Stereowire put this into words way more succinctly than I could, so please read this post (it’s specifically about an issue in the MCU fandom, which I have no clue about, but I think it applies to fandoms in general).

Here are some important quotes (bolded by me):

sexual assault isn’t a goddamn credential, it’s not a placement test, it’s not some sort of fucking prerequisite you have to pass to have a kink. put another way: you don’t earn the right or deserve to enjoy a thing only after you’ve been sexually assaulted. like, jesus christ, can you imagine someone with no sexual assault history who likes fictional noncon kink reading those shitty judgmental posts and thinking that if only they’d been raped or abused, it would be okay? this bullshit “it’s gross and you’re gross but i guess it’s okay for survivors AND SURVIVORS ONLY to enjoy this as a somewhat unhealthy coping mechanism” viewpoint actually creates a scenario in which having been raped in real life is the better option because now you have a trump card against some fucking asshole teenagers on the internet harassing you, and this plays right into this whole fucking shit philosophy where the more hardships and oppressions you can claim to have endured, the more morally unassailable your position in any argument. seriously, last time i got into it with an anon about the hydra trash party (months ago now, apparently i’ve scared them off), i had a bunch of people send me messages about how they were sexual assault survivors and enjoyed my work. i don’t want or need to know that. i do not fucking care, in the most benevolent way possible— i am not the gatekeeper; if you are a survivor i am proud of you but you should not feel any need to justify yourself to me, and on the flipside, just because i don’t talk about my own personal history to justify my kinks, you also don’t need to feel like you’re granting me permission to post these things, as if sexual assault survivors get to bring a plus-one on their ticket to the noncon party or something. i fucking hate that there is a culture on tumblr that made a dozen or so people feel like that was something they had to message me about, or someone would tell them to die in a fire. don’t tell me that’s somehow a less toxic influence on ~young impressionable minds~ in fandom spaces than people who are self aware enough to actually use the terms “noncon” and “dubcon” as warning labels so people can avoid it if they don’t want to see it.

Chiming in also as someone who has done volunteer work with sex education counseling and still does it on a private basis. The degree of sexual self-loathing I see in people surrounded by this type of bullying is pretty severe, especially in people who are still dependents of repressive households since it just reinforces that they are gross, disgusting, immoral, etc no matter where they go, and it’s even worse with victims of sexual abuse. This isn’t only an issue with ethics and bullying, it’s serious health and depression risk too when you can’t have a normal sexual self-esteem.

[zefram-cockring]

An important factor the above posts forget is: FICTION. We’re talking about FICTION here. Not endorsement, not condoning, not real life actions or preferences. Fiction.

Last year a friend of mine had her job threatened because some dipshit on this website had a petty fandom grudge saw she’d written a story about an abusive relationship. This tumblr user took the WARNINGS on the fic summary and used them against the writer as “evidence” that she was a Bad Bad Person.

So yeah, I have serious problems with folks conflating depiction with endorsement; equating fantasy with reality.

More so, though, I have a problem with this Tumblr bullshit constantly happening to WOMEN AND NB/GQ HOBBYIST AUTHORS AND ARTISTS rather than to MEN WHO PUBLISH THE SAME STUFF PROFESSIONALLY (lolol who’s john norman lol) and you know, REAL LIFE PREDATORS. But I guess if you’re trying to make yourself look righteous, you can save time and energy going for the easier target.

[currentlyblackwatertrash]

There are problems with noncon fanworks, absolutely, but those usually consist of people not acknowledging/realizing that what they are writing is abuse/noncon.

Oh my god thank you. I’ve been trying to explain this for YEARS. One of the biggest arguments i hear against non con fiction is that it “normalizes” rape, but that is only true if the rape in question is presented as normal. And this DOES happen all the time, and it’s a major problem. I love that they brought up 50 shades, because my issue with that book is exactly what they said here. It’s not that it depicted an abusive relationship, its that it presented it as a normal relationship.

The problem with non con fiction isn’t that it exists.

Everything else in this post is also spot on. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to point out to non con haters (especially those that claim to be policing content to “protect abuse survivors” that abuse survivors are sometime the one MAKING said content, because its the only argument I think they’ll listen to, while at the same time not even wanting to bring it up because it SHOULDN’T MATTER. You don’t need to have passed some qualifying test to have a non con kink.

I have spent half my life fighting against people telling me i’m a predator or there’s something wrong with me (including my mom who was consdiering cutting me off financially because she “didn’t want to support me growing up if I was growing to grow up like that”), and i’m sick of it. I’m so sick of it.

There is nothing wrong with me.

[lesbianrey]

if you click to open this thread you die in real life

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

predicted answer: “have sex with me”

[thekutestkillua-deactivated2018]

I read this thread and it’s surprisingly wholesome. Lots of guys either wanting to be the little spoon, making jokes about blanket hogging, or wanting their girlfriends to say what they like so that they can pleasure them more.

[robb-greyjoy-deactivated2019082]

Tbh I’m starting to think most of tumblr seriously lack any serious interaction with men, and not only sexual but to a platonic/friendship level.

I don’t mean to attack anyone but how come all this people decided men would think something pervert and rapey? How come people who actually checked were so surprised that men wanted something humanly acceptable and maybe even *gasps* cute?

I am serious in this question: did you ever had male friends? Because this thread to me was the LEAST surprising thing on earth.

In HS, having been a butch lesbian and having had a ton of male friends, the typical sex questions were “hey, can you tell me how to mae her feel good?” or “hey, how do I tell if she likes it?” or “do I sound clingy/pathetic if I want cuddles after?”. Boyfriends worry about their girlfriends pleasure, their happiness and what they think of sex. They do. And when they don’t do much to pleasure them, most of the time is because they are inexperienced. Women do have a problem with communicating their desire, nobody denies that it’s also society’s fault but if you don’t ask stuff you can’t get surprised you don’t get it and out there it’s full of men wanting to do things with respect and to make their girlfriends happy. 

Boys are WHOLESOME. As girls are. People are wholesome and nice and vulnerable and in strive for good things for them and others.

And even those who made sexual comments like “blowjobs” or “more boob stuff”…. why is it bad? It’s a NSFW thread???? It’s the space to talk about that. Would you have the same reaction if in their matching thread women said they want their boyfriends to go down on them more? Or if they said they’d like him to touch them in different zones? Would you have complained if women said it of their girlfriends? Then why shaming boys?

Having needs both sexual and emotional is natural, the important is not force them on people who don’t feel like that and these men didn’t (which is why the thread exists in first place).

Men have emotional needs too and pretending they don’t and buying into the “all men think about is sex” and “ah men are all rapey and dirty” is sexism, not only towards men but because it implies that women are purer than them which leads to the HolyMary kinda misoginy that denies women their need to physical pleasure.

Also let’s stop pretending sex is inherently dirty and bad. Sex is fun, as long as it’s consensual.

But yeah I agree with op, I did die opening it, OUT OF THE CUTENESS THAT SPILLED FROM IT.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

I like how LRey  didn’t even open the thread, she just made a sexist assumption and took a screenshot for Tumblr clout from other misandrists.

[luntfontanne]

this kid is 14 oh my god is no one teaching children to protect themselves online anymore…

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Meanwhile us olds are like: I don’t have a carrd and I’m not reading yours

[tusara]

Please don’t advertise your personal information, anyone could find that and use it however they want.

[starstruck-strife-moved]

Oh my fucking god it isn’t 1998 anymore no one cares

[cerayanay]

??? Wtf does this mean??? 80% of employers google you before hiring you, child predators use that info to groom kids, abusers use that info against victims, police/government track activists online? Do you honestly think the internet has gotten safer since 1998????

[oopsabird]

also don’t tell any rando who wanders onto your blog with unknown intentions the specifics of how they can trigger you???? no????

[autumndragons]

the fact that its not 1998 anymore is exactly WHY you should be more fucking careful. do you have any idea the tools people have now compared to then? the fact that its gotten exponentially easier to find people in real life based off online info while young people have gotten extremely comfortable sharing all their personal details is deeply concerning.

im sorry no one ever taught you internet safety but that is NOT because its not important anymore. ITS MORE IMPORTANT THAN IT EVER WAS. please listen to the people whove been on the internet longer than youve been alive. our intentions are good and internet safety is vital. especially if youre queer, which i know for a fact a lot of you are.

[a-method-in-it]

If you don’t believe that people can track you online from a little bit of information, please check out this thread by Emily Gorcenski, an anti-fascist activist, where she breaks down how she was able to determine the exact location of someone’s storage unit based only on a photo in the New York Times. (Gorcenski also uses her super powers to out fascists, but in this case, she is using it on one of those people who were buying up hand sanitizer in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic.)

The whole thread is fascinating, and is based on nothing more than a single photo, with most of the stuff she relies on to make the ID not even being in focus, let along in the foreground. Stuff you might never think about, like the angle between two building or the exact color of the storage unit doors. 

Because you might think to yourself, “What is the harm of sharing a photo that shows the color of my storage unit doors??” But combined with your name and the fact that you live in, say, Eastern Tennessee, that might be all someone needs to narrow it down.

You should really read the whole thing, but to quote something she says at the end:

“The things that give you away are things that are not the focus of the shot. It’s details in the background, the foreground. Shadows, changes in coloration where they’re not expected. …  I have geolocated people from pictures of cranes in the background of images, and use local construction permits to figure out where they are. I have used the shape of downspout guards and styles of siding to identify neighborhoods.”

And as she reminds us: You should always assume that bad actors are capable of doing this, too. 

So for the love of all that is holy, please protect yourselves. Be conscious of what you share and where and who can see it. This stuff matters. 

[bundibird]

Not to mention, like……… predators lie. Predators will do one of these carrds with information specifically designed to lure people into a false sense of security.

I could say that I’m a 15 year old trans indigenous girl named Jess who lives in the inner suburbs of Sydney, and NOT A SINGLE word of that is remotely true, but how do you know??? How do you know whether I’m telling the truth or not??

But you might read it and think “oh she’s a minor like me; she’s Safe to talk to” or “she’s trans too she understands me on a personal level” or “I know her; her name is Jess” or “she’s indigenous, I can take her stances on indigenous topics as Truth” – but I’m not any of those things. And if I wrote all that and stated that they were true and you believed me then you would be in an inherently vulnerable position, because you would be believing I’m your age or have the same gender experiences as you or that I’m of the same heritage, and meanwhile I could be a predator who’s specifically trying to target children by making myself out to be both a minor and two different types of minority.

And yeah, people can lie all the time if they want to; there’s nothing to stop me right now from announcing that I’m actually American, or I’m actually 52, or I’m actually a natural redhead, or I’m actually [insert something that I am not]. But if its becoming commonplace to lay all your “basic” information on the table from the outset then youre gonna start taking that at face value. Youre gonna believe peoples bios. You’re gonna check someone’s carrd out and go “oh they’re a fourteen year old boy from wisconsin” and every interaction you have with them from then on is going to be through a lens of “theyre a fourteen year old boy from Wisconsin,” and they might not be.

For the love of GOD please stop sharing your personal details online. You dont need to tell people your actual name. You dont need to share selfies. Godding fuck dont announce to the whole world that you live in a certain specific area and that you’ve just been kicked out of home. There are people who will take that information and use it against you.

And if you are ever, EVER going to meet up with an online friend in real life, here are some basic tips that you really absolutely 100% should do:

Do a zoom chat with them first. No, not selfies; selfies can be taken from anywhere. I could google “teenage girl,” screenshot it, and send it to you with the claim that its my face. I could steal someone’s Facebook photos and claim they’re mine. Its a lot harder for an adult to con you into thinking theyre a teenager if you insist on doing a zoom call or similar with them first.

If you have a facetime/zoom call/Skype/whatever scheduled, and they cancel it, but still want to meet up in person at the pre-arranged time, DO NOT GO. Straight up say “no, we’ll reschedule; how about we Skype at the time we were meant to meet in person instead.” DO NOT MEET UP WITH SOMEONE IF YOU HAVENT VIDEO-CHATTED WITH THEM. DO NOT. If they dont want to Skype with you or keep agreeing to and then dropping out, then thats a fucking huge warning sign.

If they video chat with you and you’re satisfied that they are who they say they are and youre happy to go ahead with the meet, then agree to meet up in the middle of the day in a crowded place. A shopping mall, a busy cafe, etc. Somewhere with lots of people around. Do NOT go somewhere else with them. Do NOT get in their car or go somewhere with fewer people or etc. Hate to break it to you, but it is NOT outside of the realm of possibility that the person you’re meeting is bait to get you somewhere isolated where someone else can grab you. This is a thing that has happened. Easiest way to avoid it? Don’t go places alone with your online friend until you know for sure they’re not dodgy.

Also: TELL SOMEONE WHERE YOU ARE GOING AND WHO YOU ARE GOING TO MEET. It doesn’t have to be a parent. Lord knows some of you kids don’t trust your parents, and I understand that. But tell SOMEONE. A friend, a sibling, a cousin; whatever. Tell them when you’re going, where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and what the other person’s online details are. If it turns out that theyre a normal human person who is just keen to meet their online friend, then great. But if they turn out to be some kind of creepy whackjob who kidnaps you or something, then at least there is someone out there who can give the police a start point about where you were and who you were meeting.

Online safety is so important and it really freaks me out to see how cavalier some of you kids are with your own safety. There are loads of freaks out there; don’t hand your information over to them in a handy little personal bio.

[dollyvalkyrie]

[crescairis]

i get that people are more comfortable with defined rules and structure but i also think queer people lost when they started resorting to dictionary definitions for what labels mean

[crescairis]

the queer umbrella is meant to deviate from the norm of rigid boxes and definitions and to decide that lesbian means Only this, bi means Only this, etc, is directly contradicting what queer means. each and every label is going to have a unique meaning to the person using it and that is how it's supposed to be. if you're not comfortable with that...sorry?

[crescairis]

basically if someone tries to tell you you're using a label wrong:

no you're not

eat them

[dykecrystal]

Clown horn honking 🤡

[curseworm]

whenever ppl make a post like “labels having definitions is FUCKED UP !!!” every single time they r specifically mad tht lesbians dont like men LMAO

[lgbtpolitics]

I sometimes wonder if we all just went "Okay fine you win, lesbian is now an undefined term for anyone who wants to identify with it. We're making a new word, its femsexual, and this means women who only are attracted to other women. Now we can all just be in peace with each other". Would that actually satisfy anyone? Or would it still persist because the actual issue is with women unequivocally stating they aren't into men?

The other reason it won't solve anything is because, while people insist that defining it is somehow tarnishing the word, they do need it to be correlated with a definition in order for it to still exist. If people legitimately attached no meaning to the word lesbian and it was blatantly said that its just a random adjective it would fall out of usage in seconds because it would be aggressively obvious that its pointless.

[homoluigi]

Cannot fucking believe that people are still uncritically reblogging that terrible post about how us gays and pocs are only atheists because of religious trauma while white cishets can only come to atheism through the dreaded evil logic

[ranma-official]

“normal people all worship gods like they’re supposed to, something should be deeply wrong with you to justify you being an atheist” - people who are allegedly woke

[funereal-disease]

Periodic reminder that that post explicitly referred to the “cult of science” and several thousand ostensibly progressive people saw absolutely nothing wrong with that framing.

[lgbtpolitics]

There’s another one that floats around like “Female atheists are running from trauma but male atheists are pretentious and think they know better than everyone else” like for goodness sake these points are so ridiculous.

[01hp-archive-deactivated2016062]

stop fucking leaving your partners just because they realize they are asexual and or aromantic in the middle of the relationship you fucking assholes

[sn0wfoxx-deactivated20150801]

Except non aro/ace people usually require romantic affection and sexual satisfaction to sustain in a relationship, even if they love a person. Don’t condemn them for desiring physical advances and romance with their significant other. They deserve that kind of relationship just as much as an aro/ace deserves one without it. 

[01hp-archive-deactivated2016062]

the word you’re looking for is “selfish”

[cymothoa-exigua-deactivated2018]

Leaving a relationship you no longer feel comfortable in is not selfish. Telling people to stay in a relationship they no longer feel comfortable in because it would hurt your feelings if they left is selfish.

[bumblebun]

Hey, yeah I am one of those people who left a relationship when we both realized we were not going in the same direction.

He is asexual, and I was very much not.

Dont get me wrong. I still adore the dude, and he is my best friend to this day. But we were NOT going to work out in the long run.

I want a family at some point. I like sex. Being in a relationship like that made me feel very unwanted and unattractive. It got to me. It started to destory the relationship more and more. My self-esteem dropped to nothing while dating him. He tried his best, but he wasnt comfortable doing things that would help me feel better. I wasnt getting the attention I needed.

I was with him for 5 ½ years. He is my best friend. But this was not going to work.

Do not EVER make someone feel bad when they realize that the future they want, the affection they need is selfish. NEVER tell me that.

He deserves the relationship he wants as much as I do.

[full-earth]

Today on tumblr: suffer through a relationship you don’t want to be in anymore

[the-salty-scythe-meister]

NO ONE IS OBLIGATED TO DATE/HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE. The fact that this needs to be said disturbs me.

[elfe-untiere]

Also wow this sex negativity is hilarious. You’d be outraged if someone said “stop fucking leaving your partners just because you realize you’re asexual and they want sex. Stay in the relationship and have sex with them or you’re selfish!”. As you should be. That’s a fucked up way of thinking. But it’s exactly the same as what you’re doing. You are saying that sexual people should repress a part of themselves to please their asexual partner. No. The healthy thing to do is end the relationship so both can find someone whose sexual and/or romantic needs are compatible with theirs. 

[alaija]

“… they realize they are […] aromantic in the middle of the relationship….”

Yeah, fuck knows why someone would not want to be in a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship.

Ignoring the absurdity of this insistence, it’s a bit like telling someone you’re in a relationship that you don’t love them and then wonder why they break up with you. 

[lgbtpolitics]

^ I was scrolling through this like is anyone gonna note that this includes aromantic not even just asexual. If we are in a romantic relationship, and you discover you aromantic, as far as I’m concerned thats you breaking up with me lmao.

[sprinkledsalt]

Gotta say that while I understand dragging people who are hostile and unhinged to strangers online with things such as, “you can’t even make phone calls”, some posts have looped back around to just, straight up mocking people with social anxiety or traits on the autism spectrum. A post with thousands of notes will be like, “y’all are fucking freaks who can’t look people in the eye because uwu it makes you nervous uwu and you won’t stfu about this cringe TV show instead of being Normal 🙄 and you wonder why you can’t make new friends 🤣 if you want to stop being judged then stop being a weirdo 💅”

Uh. I think y’all just peaked at being 7th grade bullies. Lol

[sprinkledsalt]

And I think a lot of people would back off if they knew someone had autism, for example, but here's an idea...someone shouldn't have to reveal a diagnosis--or even have one tbh--for you to stop looking for socially acceptable reasons to be a miserable asshole to people for different-yet-harmless behavior lol

[lgbtpolitics]

Its a constant cycle where something "Cringe" becomes more normalised as people get older and less bothered about each other but then it becomes overly normalised then frustrates people so they loop straight back round to simply mocking it relentlessly.

In this case, like yeah I can understand some frustration at how certain anti social things have become almost incorporated into "Millenial culture" - its become very disentangled from actual anxiety or whatever and lots of people believe it is simply the standard for their ilk to not want to talk to others in any context. And it becomes borderline rude, constant posts about how much you don't like talking to people, you hate being at gatherings, don't like small talk etc etc.

The thing is though once people collectively realise this is being taken a bit far and out of context, instead of just saying that they fully revert to shaming people and mocking them for things. Its literally a constant cycle and its very aggravating. Bullying doesn't become acceptable because people are annoying you online.

[truanism]

Anything that proclaims all x group do y action/believe y thing even as joke is still very meh to me.

[macademmia-deactivated20260103]

every time I see LGBTQ discourse I think about that post that said masc cis lesbians get kicked out of bathrooms as cruelly as trans people do so why the fuck are some lesbians transphobic , and I think about how homophobes won’t check for your sexuality before calling us slurs and I think about how my local dyke March considers anyone who identifies as a dyke a dyke because fuck rainbow capitalism we are here to fight for our lives and I think about how my best friends are bisexual and I think about how lesbians have been loving each other in ways that the gender binary has never been able to understand(and never will) and I think about that post that says the worst thing the right did was convince queer people other queer people were the enemy

[dunmertitty]

[sunflowerdigs]

Every community has discourse, though. The LGBTQIA community is not a monolith and shouldn't surrender to toxic groupthink just because dialogue between oppressed minorities with competing needs is difficult. Disagreements don't necessitate turning each other into the enemy - that's Healthy Relationships 101. The most important thing to do is to listen, always listen. Dialogue is only a zero sum game if you're a manipulative narcissist.

[lgbtpolitics]

^ Posts like this always miss out (or intentionally ignore) that ending "discourse" means one party has to stfu and live with their discontent in silence. People have a right to an opinion on their own communities and politics, which means people will argue. Undoubtedly, many people get far too deep into it, and do indeed start casting the "other side" as an enemy, but that has always happened within any "leftist" or "progressive" groups - its not good and we should encourage cooperation despite disagreement but its not a reason why all disagreement has to end.

Discourse is not all bad, many progresses within the LGBT community have happened as a result of people arguing the things they believed in.

[sashannarcy]

"shipping is fun and can lead to some really creative aus and ideas within fandoms" and "the breakdown of media into who is shippable with who is destroying narrative purpose" are statements that can and should coexist