I can't think of a one liner

Enough sleep. Back to the factory. ° 24 / he|him|his ° Just a bit of silliness init

[sirpuntine]

Not only did mama raise a quitter, but she also raised a procrastinator, people-pleaser, doormat, coward, and liar, and you can’t put a price on that

[retroactivebakeries]

that’s on me for desiring freedom from suffering, honestly. my bad

[replicated-archive]

my wife is struggling with her gardening and i go outside and ask is this guy bothering you and start punching the dirt

[3000s]

last night was talking to my dad about career plans and he goes "i dont know if you should do a trade, you should print tshirts and sell them at the oceanfront"

[3000s]

👆👆👆 literally how it is

[kaijuno]

[bernard-jackson]

[bettyrightnow]

tomorrow is not even friday and it’s not even thursday

[dova-70]

Oh god I'm gonna be sick... my buttons. What did they do to my buttons?!

[peoplegettingreallymadatghosts]

Brutal scenes playing out in real time

[kamari3]

[bigcheeseofficial]

[dogpuppy]

[ruknowhere]

This note was written by a child who was listening in on a bunch of artists discussing art and life.

[sonny-kiddo]

some notable catchphrases of 2013:

bitch I might be

do she got the booty ? she doooooooooo ! 

swiggity swag

the D

wen u mom com home and make hte spagehti

“ hello______, im dad “ 

AYYY LMAO

W R I T I N G  I N T E N S E  W O R D S  L I K E  T H I S 

 perfect _____ don’t exis-

And now, the weather

at least 2 potato

we’ve come full circle ! 

life hack :

[ __________ INTENSIFIES]

so many

such doge. much wow. very smile. 

mahogany 

*sweats nervously*

same. 

spooper hot choclety milk

#SHERLOCKLIVES

[pixelartpeach]

[transpondster]

Hate to say it but: "Just say yes. It's easier than explaining," is not a bad line.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

i'm obsessed with this genre of wojak, like the one that makes whoever created it look like the deranged one in the argument

[innerchildabortionclinic]

other example

[postalswag]

[ottermatopoeia]

I honestly feel like the proliferation of LED headlights was the canary in the coalmine for the general attitude we see in the political climate these days and i'm not even remotely kidding

[ottermatopoeia]

Very much in line with the attitude of "this choice will marginally improve the way I move through the world and make everyone else's experience SIGNIFICANTLY worse, but I don't really care, based simply on the fact that I am allowed to do it and there's nothing they can or will do to stop me" ya feel me?

[thetetra]

I used to live in an apartment complex and this guy had those super bright headlights, a custom job that was WAY brighter than the norm. He would use his brights in the apartment complex and when his headlights were on your window you could read fine print with the curtains closed.

We yelled at him and told him to at least turn off his brights and he told us to go fuck ourselves. So one night after he came rolling back in at 2 or 3 in the morning someone smashed his headlights in with a hammer and sprayed black spray paint inside the holes. The reverse lights too as they were also obnoxiously bright.

Police came by the next day after he woke up and screamed blood and vengeance for an hour. I think we were all questioned and not 1 person knew anything.

Property management had to admit that the fake security cameras were actually fake.

Guy got his system fixed exactly the same and went around loudly bragging about it. Guy went back out to set up his camera to watch the car and went to bed. The camera was smashed from behind spray painted and again the headlights and reverse lights, with the added bonus of a side view mirror smashed and spray painted.

This time the only person who said anything to the cops was a guy who could confirm it wasn't at 5 am because he went out with a gas can and a box of matches but the job had already been done. And funnily enough saying "well I was going to do it but someone beat me to it" isn't actually illegal.

He put in much more sensible headlights and didn't turn his brights on in the parking lot anymore.

[theehorsepusssy]

[emil]

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

[emil]

peggle make phone calls