incorrect quotes the hobbit / lord of the rings
Legolas : I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Thranduil : It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Y/n isn’t
Legolas : Thranduil , what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Thranduil : I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Legolas : Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Y/n.
Legolas : Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Thranduil : You were flirting with Y/n.
Legolas : So what? They're my partner.
Thranduil : You asked them if they were single.
Thranduil : And then you cried when they said they weren't.
Legolas : Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Thranduil : You’re a hazard to society
Y/n: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
Legolas : Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.
Legolas : Once. In Monopoly.
Thranduil , in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd likY/ne to be on Island Time for a day!
Y/n: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Y/n: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Thranduil , laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Y/n: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!
Y/n: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Thranduil , cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ
Y/n: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Gandalf : I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Y/n: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
Legolas : Y/n... How do I begin to explain Y/n?
Pip: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Mary: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Boromir: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Legolas : Croissants: dropped
Sam: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Gandalf : Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Boromir , grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
Legolas : Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Y/n: I think you mean cards.
Legolas , pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.
Legolas : Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Y/n: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.
Thranduil : I’m going to take you out
Thranduil : I meant that as a threat.
Thranduil : I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Y/n: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
Legolas : I prevented a murder today.
Y/n: Really? How’d you do that?
Thorin : Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Y/n: Please stop encouraging them.
Thorin : Y/n and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Bilbo: *Sighing* What did Y/n do?
Thorin : They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Y/n: Who wants a steering wheel?
Thorin : In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Y/n: Wasn't Bilbo with you?
Bilbo: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
*The group is getting into the car*
Y/n, out of view: Shotgun!
Bilbo, turning to face Y/n: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Y/n: WOAH-
Y/n, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
Thranduil : Y/n and I don’t use pet names.
Legolas : I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Legolas : Don't ever lie to my face again.
Thranduil , texting Y/n: Y/n! Help I’m being kidnapped
Thranduil : I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Legolas , answering their cell: Y’ello?
Y/n: Where’s Thranduil ? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.
Legolas : Thranduil ? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-
Legolas : I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Legolas : THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!
Thranduil : WHO ARE YOU?!
