You have found me at a very weird time in my life. I'm back here after leaving Tumblr in my 20s, attempting to live an adult life and basically ruining everything pretty catastrophically. I grew up in extraordinarily fucked up circumstances that turned me into a severely unwell, neurotic, agoraphobic mess and most of my life has been about trying to recover. I made this because I need somewhere to express myself honestly and openly, something I haven't really been able to do for most of my life either through abuse or repression. I'm trying to start my life over, or something like that. I'm also trying to deconstruct from my years long adherence to transfeminism, gender ideology, being "nonbinary" and the damage its done to me. As well, after years and years of denial I am finally coming to accept the likelihood that I have (traumagenic, not TikTok style) dissociative identity disorder. Because of this I might sometimes post contradictory thoughts and ideas, that usually indicates I am working something out with a part of me that I don't have regular access to. I am not interested in interacting with non-traumagenic systems, we don't share experiences. If you'd like to learn more about OSDD/DID I strongly encourage you to read the most recently available research, there are a tremendous amount of misconceptions about it and the reality of the disorder has almost no resemblance to the media depiction. https://did-research.org/did/myths https://did-research.org/controversy/international https://did-research.org/origin/structural_dissociation/
I'm a white bi woman from the American south, in my early 30s and a humongous dork for history, geopolitics, political theory (still learning though), space, physics, psychology, animal biology, and practically any kind of art but especially film, music, writing, painting and photography. Ask me anything you'd like about any of this stuff, I'm pretty friendly! all personal posts - deconstruction diary - DID posts - misc thoughts - art

















