I kinda wish they'd put zac oyama in the grant room as one of the grants

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@octopus3320
I kinda wish they'd put zac oyama in the grant room as one of the grants
first half of count the rice is funny because everyone’s threatening violence to sam or living their best lives in losers island while ify and catherine look like this
Ify is in an episode of Game Changer. Zach and Jiavani are in The Good Place. Anna is in the timeloop. Demi is in a Charlie Chaplin film but that film is also a Mario 64 speedrun. Hannah Pilkes is having the day she always has but in the backrooms, and Catherine McCafferty is of course in As Above So Below.
immediate top 5 game changer episode btw there’s just so much to love. the slow reveal of the rooms. ify being the first to lose in room 1. catherine mccafferty being the episode’s main character and breakout star. the set design for all of the rooms but ESPECIALLY the spot the difference ones. 25 grants. the friendship(?) between hannah and the bouncer for room 2. demi accidentally plotting his own downfall by saying pop goes the weasel at the same time as hannah. sam trying to fill time while waiting for a player to win their way back up. the pic pong got him. a true fucking delight all the way down and back up again
backrooms (2026) - kane parsons
Cliff Marleau collects magnets. The tacky touristy ones, made of polyester resin in bright, solid colors. He puts them on his fridge and they make a gaudy centerpiece to his otherwise quite modern and tasteful kitchen. They remind him how lucky he is he gets to travel so much, and for his job, no less. Before he was thirteen, the furthest he had gone from his hometown in Louisiana was Southern Ohio, when his mom packed him and his little sister up and hauled them away from his father.
But Southern Ohio had a hockey rink, and hockey ended up saving them all. And now Cliff gets to travel, and pay his mothers mortgage, and send his sister through med school, and collect tiny, cheesy magnets for his fridge.
When Roz first came over to his place, he asked Cliff about almost every single one. Why he picked the Space Needle over Mt. Ranier, why he doesn't have the Hollywood sign, what this landmark on the Winnipeg one was. Roz was good at this, at reaching out, connecting. He was really bad at being reached out to.
The next fall, Roz came back from Russia with a magnet to add to his collection, "Moscow" written underneath a building. When Cliff asked what the building was, he explained it was the Bolshoi Theatre, and how his mother would take him and his brother to go see the ballet, and how he pretended it was boring but really, he always thought it was amazing.
Seven months later, Cliff was grabbing a drink for a girl he invited over, when he realized the Moscow magnet was missing. He panicked, and with no explanation to his date, quickly dropped to the floor and started grabbing behind the cabinets, under the fridge. He audibly exhaled when he felt the rubbery edges of it tucked up against the floorboards, and nothing felt right until it was back, stuck to the fridge with the rest of them.
It's that stupid magnet that Cliff is thinking about when Roz tells him he's requesting a trade to Ottawa.
Hamlet adaptation where Hamlet is a vlogger and all his soliloquies are breakdowns he uploads to YouTube
… I am unironically here for this
this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life
This is - legitimately - my favourite delivery of Shakespeare I have EVER seen (and I have seen some good-ass productions yo, in the Globe Theatre itself even). Like seriously, even though the words are unchanged, he’s stripped away ALL of the archaic pretense and assumed grandeur of ~presenting the bard~ that makes even the most wildly talented of actors and innovative of productions inherently inaccessible to a modern audience. Like, they’re still great, they can still communicate the message and (some) of the nuance, but they’re still always a step removed from being identifiable to any viewer’s lived experience. They’re still always reciting 15th century poetry. But this guy? This guy is like, screw iambic pentameter, to hell with being precious about the material, HOW WOULD AN ACTUAL PERSON SAY THIS SHIT?
Like this. And it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful to hear a soliloquy I loved so much already, and have it come to life in a way it never, ever, did before. I feel like I grasp his motivations, his twists and turns, no longer on an academic level but on a visceral, instinctive one. Because he’s presenting his mental and emotional journey in a way that speaks honestly, like a real person.
So yeah, this shit post? I love it. Deeply and sincerely.
A post about this went round recently, and I’m delighted to announce she’s since come out as trans and goes by Jasmine 🏳️⚧️
Actor and Writer
There’s a whole series of the Hamlet videos on her YouTube, as well as a bunch of other films she’s made
"hayden pike on the ottawa centaurs" this, "hayden pike on the ottawa centaurs" that... cliff marleau on the ottawa centaurs
i know that ilya is always standing close as fuck to shane at any given point. just always up in his business, every part of them touching, for no reason at all. ilya’s front to shane’s back constantly nosy as fuck looking at things over his shoulder, making comments about how shane cuts vegetables. nose to nose like “hey”. and shane never says anything, just lets it happen. honestly, he gets a lil grumpy is ilya stands too far away and tries to sneakily close the distance and ilya Always notices and makes fun of him bc he thinks it’s so cute
Yuna is being highly concerned at first - during all his life Shane was avoiding touches as much as possible. She tries to protect her son and softly cues Ilya that he should give Shane more personal space. Ilya tried to follow, Shane thinking that it's Ilya who wants more personal space and he tries to fight himself not to annoy him, until he spirals into the meltdown. When he calms down Ilya explains it to him, and they both become more clingy than ever, and Shane is pouting at his mother and next time they visit he tells it to her.
Yuna is trying to feel guilty, but she is purely amused that her distant and touch avoidant kid talking grumpy to her, sitting on his boyfriend lap, nose buried into his neck, arms and legs wrapped around.
i just KNOW troy and ilya have the most vile, twitter cancel-able text conversations. they’re hockey players (insults as bonding), queer, had/have terrible fathers, became friends when they were both going through it…
troy texts ‘running late’ and ilya responds with ‘faggot.’ troy hearts the message. they send and make kill yourself jokes. they’re rating their shits. when hr-verse charlie kirk gets shot, troy is sending the video and ilya is hearting it. obviously they’re vetting dick pics but the ranking is incomprehensible. troy is making russia jokes. they’re sending sonic porn. creating convoluted bond-villain style ways to kill people (only like, 75% of the people have actually wronged them)
everyone knew ilya is insufferable.
so when they started officially dating, shane was preparing himself for what he's gonna do when ilya will catch a flu. it was challenging enough managing with his own... body fluids (HA!). and he genuinely didn't know how he's gonna react to ilya's mucus all around. but he was much more scared that a disease would turn ilya into a catastrophe.
he was very dedicated to be a good boyfriend and do whatever needs to be done, though.
what a shock he had, when he figured out, that when he's sick, ilya turns small, trying to hide in the darkest place and disappear. he is quiet, lying in the bed curled into a ball and shivering with fever. shane heart broke, when ilya started to apologize, almost crying, that he couldn't make him food and he's a shitty boyfriend.
never shane wanted to kill more, understanding that this is how probably ilya's family treated him every time he got sick since his mother died.
shane hugged him tightly, peppering his damp with sweat curls, mumbling tender words and promising himself he'll never let his baby feel sorry again for feeling bad.
What they don’t tell you about your worst nightmare coming true and the last thing you wanted to happen happening is that life literally does just go on. like I really still have to eat my dads fucking pasta instead of drowning myself.
Ilya Rozanov who is somewhat dreading the mother-son dance at his and Shane’s wedding because he doesn’t have a mother.
Ilya Rozanov who sadly says over his breakfast one morning, ‘it’s okay, Mama will be there in spirit.’ And ‘She would’ve loved you, loved us.’
Ilya Rozanov who watches his now husband sway with his now mother-in-law, taking up the dance floor with so much love it makes his insides paralysed with grief.
Ilya Rozanov who wipes his tears away when they are done, clapping louder than anyone in the room.
Ilya Rozanov who doesn’t except the song to begin again, and for Yuna Hollander to stand in front of him with her open palm.
Ilya Rozanov who holds Yuna with such strength because he has already had one mother taken away from him, he cannot have another, and Yuna Hollander who holds him back just as tight because she knows.
Ilya Rozanov who lets Yuna kiss his cheek, and says, ‘ya lyublyu tebya, mama.’ Into her hair. (I love you, mama)
David Hollander, who tries to record the whole thing but ends up just recording their feet because he’s too busy looking, watching Ilya and Yuna share this tender moment.
Ilya Rozanov who has a family.
Ilya Rozanov who has a mother.
Ilya: we will play mermaids in the pool yes?
Shane: don’t you mean mermen?
Ilya: No. I want to be mermaid with majestic hair and fat rack.
headcanon that like his son, david hollander too can also stare at his partner with big doe eyes and get what he wants. it’s rare for ilya to see it but the first time he does he points aggressively and goes “YOU!!! is your fault i never win an argument!!!!” david just blinks while yuna nods solemnly and tells ilya that unfortunately shane learned from the best
Yuna: Congratulations. The two of you have just won gold and silver in the Moron Olympics.
Shane:
Ilya:
Shane: Who won gold?
i love the idea of young fanboy luca haas meeting ilya before getting drafted. like imagine his parents surprised him with a birthday trip to go to boston and watch a boston game in person. even better ilya signs his rozanov jersey
it’s also so fun to think about how ilya would find out
birthday party: ilya hosts a bday party and the theme is different eras of ilya, so luca decided to show up in the one boston rozanov jersey he owns (he brought it with him to ottawa because it’s just that special to him), he was hoping ilya wouldn’t notice the signature but he eventually does
shane: when shane moves to ottawa luca shyly asks for his autograph on some kind of hollander merch he owns and ilya asks why luca never asked for his autograph, so he reveals that he already got it years ago
sick: back when he’s a rookie luca gets sick, so ilya decides to check in on him since he wasn’t in practice and somehow stumbles upon the signed jersey in lucas room
picture: luca’s junior team/mother/someone from his past makes a post using a picture from the time luca and ilya met to celebrate ottawa winning the cup