@oedipusweareold - Tumblr Blog

ALL 👏🏾 OF 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

the sheer amount of Fucks Not Given in these photos is creating a Black Hole Of Ungiven Fucks, sucking in all the bullshit over the Fuck You event horizon and trapping it so the bullshit can’t escape. It’s gorgeous.

emperorozark

thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021

People are replicating the feeling of a Bethesda game IRL so well that I’m scared someone’s going to get caught clipped through the floor

nomehablen2

ive never played a video game in my life and this is so fucking funny

ashenprincx

This is art

daily-bad-jokes

occasionally the universe orders one of its many snipers to fire a warning shot at me. not to cause any (physical) harm, mind you. they’re just reminders that the universe hates me and could snuff out my puny little life anytime it wishes.

today that warning shot came in the form of my microwave burrito being completely empty. no filling. just tortilla.

daily-bad-jokes

how can you look at this and still believe the world is kind and just

meckamecha

It has filling. The filling is more tortilla

its-going-down

elionking-deactivated20191020

Me looking through job listings online like

starlightandtears

I have never seen a gif so expertly used

toastbutteregg

nothing more relatable than this

nabuisthebeastiworship-deactiva

ginaalexisrodriguez-deactivated

Would you eat 100 mice if it would guarantee that Donald Trump would never become president ever ?

lostovae

Wisdom teeth are so weird cause my body is like, “hey I know you are done growing but would you like some…MORE TEETH???? And I’m like, “hell no, theres no room,” but then my body is still like *slamming fists on table* “more teeth! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! M O R E T E E T H”

freakinfishtank

Oh there’s no room? That’s fine we’ll just gRoW TheM IN FuvKiNg SIDEWAYS

janetsneedlefelting

A needle fetled Aussie Sheltie mix with a sweet smile. Based on the inset image of the first photo.

itsjustpaul-deactivated20160224

The real Powerball was the friends we made along the way

1dietcokeinacan

I hate when u say “deja vu” out loud n someone ur with goes “what was it?” Like bitch we all can barely communicate the most straightforward ideas without utter confusion and chaos…..u rly believe it is within my capacity to explain exactly what fleeting moment of temporal embodiment made me feel like a vague reincarnated ghost girl trapped in a child’s dream??? Surely u are mistaken.

bogleech

hey did you know how big an albatross was because I

VERY

fucking

did not

ayellowbirds

i’m so glad people are learning this.

cryoverkiltmilk

I… I knew in numerical values how big they were, but I’ve never seen them next to humans before

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

A LORGE BIRB

witchyrem-ains

I thought albatross was another word for “seagull” not for “terror of the fucking sky”

forgottenbones

Imagine having one of those motherfuckers hanging from your neck.

scarjodropdead-deactivated20220

Someone: Wow you’re so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!

Me: thanks i made this one special just for you

drinkpisspissblood

probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to make a spreadsheet

jadelyn

Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this exact reason, even though I joke with them that “I have no idea how to do that - but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I’ll figure something out for you.” I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss commenting on my excel skills, “You do realize that I just like…google stuff when you ask me to do something with excel that I don’t know how to do, right?”

But his praise didn’t change at all. There was no “Wait, that’s all it is?”

Instead, he said “Yes, but the fact that you think to do that - and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you’ve learned and use it going forward - is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it’s “just googling stuff,” but it’s still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don’t shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay?“

And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don’t undervalue your googling skills, kids. It’s not lying if you know you can figure it out.

snagerdragon

top tier search skills: finding the source of a rare meme

dimetrodone

The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times