[avvocarlo]

and they said guys with ketchup stains on their jeans can’t get a girlfriend 😂🙄

[avvocarlo]

she broke up with me

[cannibalchicken]

[lionfloss]

by Petr Kosykh

[kosmogrl]

[cannibalchicken]

[benevolentgh0st-deactivated2016]

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

[filthburger]

[filthburger]

my name isn't even david

[cages-boxes-hunters-foxes]

every conversation on here increasingly feeling like this tweet

[sailorbrazil]

how i look like when he tells me to watch out for my teeth when im sucking on him but he forgot to buy me my pepsi while grocery shopping

[sailorbrazil]

the past grabs back

[jame7t]

when you see a Good post, you can say "HEEHO" when the post is Bad, the post is "wawoo"

[somemerchant]

Wawoo

[jame7t]

shut the fuck up 

[gelphienation]

Middle aged women who aren’t very well versed in social media post with a sort of instinctive savant hilariousness that reminds me of the poetry of children who haven’t learned what good poetry sounds like yet

[gelphienation]

One of the greatest examples of this phenomenon but far from the only one

[humansoflatecapitalism]

[girlkaramazov]

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

[orphetoon]

sometimes on the tumblr app you click on an image to see it fullscreen and it will give you a completely different image it has sourced from the fucking aether. i hope they never fix this because i got flashbanged with an image of scooby doo calling me a ‘raggot’

[pitbolshevik]

i still think about the fucking quesadilla terf

[pitbolshevik]

iirc it was like this terf who was absolutely fuming because her brother was dating a trans woman and she started claiming that she was clearly male socialized because the terf made quesadillas for dinner and the trans woman was like "wow :) this is really good, what is it?" and if she was a REAL woman she would instinctively KNOW what a quesadilla is

anyway it turns out the reason the poor woman didn't know what it was was because the terf had used hummus instead of cheese for some fucking reason so it wasn't even a quesadilla

[glintblade]

a bargain at any price

[imaginarylands4000]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

it's cool how in the 6 years since this tweet was written it's become significantly less useful not because anything has gotten better but because the majority of products on Amazon are now from fly-by-night brands called "ZZPORK" and "GLUM4PANT"