Totally Not A Trans Dimensional Bus Route

[officialoshabusdriver]

Why is this place so FUCKING big?!

[officialoshabusdriver]

How much for you to run over someone then drive me off a cliff while blasting the front bottoms?

At least $20.

[posts-from-a-scarier-timeline]

I recently learned there’s at least half a dozen osha accounts running around and it’s incredibly confusing. At least us timeline blogs do you the courtesy of all having completely different aesthetics and pfps

[posts-from-a-scarier-timeline]

I also just learned there’s a bus driver RP community???? Including a lawyer bus driver and princess bus driver?? I must stress again this is REAL. This is not a posts-from-a-scarier-timeline post, this is a real, factual post.

[deactivated-blog]

was the lawyer bus the most weird part of this?

[averagebusdriver]

Man there’s a whole bunch of wierd ones. the lawyer is pretty normal actually.

[dinobusdriver]

there’s a bunch of freaks out there.

/lh

[dogpassenger]

hey now were not THAT weird

[recordingalien]

angels, demons, sentient buses, gods, talking dogs, furries, catgirls, catboys, nyanbinaries, aliens, fucking planets, librarians and vampires… yeah not weird at all.

[dogpassenger]

dont forget our totally normal guys [pans over to a corner filled with spider webs]

[human-bus-driver]

hey i exist

[posts-from-a-scarier-timeline]

I leave this post for 2 seconds

[officialoshabusdriver]

Hello!

[officialoshabusdriver]

How much to drive me the hell outta this place

Depends on where you want to go.

[busdriverwithagun]

Hey… do you have any spare artillery I could borrow? - @officialoshabusdriver

Absolutely! As long as you don't intend to commit any war crimes.

Or any BIG war crimes, anyways.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Don't worry! I am not a part of any agreements defining war crimes so I can't legally commit war crimes even if I wanted to.

[busdriverwithagun]

Hm. A hologram of gun pops into existence behind them.

Most war crimes aren’t legal to begin with. Bit of a weird defense, don’t you think?

[officialoshabusdriver]

You would be surprised, but don't mind that. It was a poor attempt at humor. I mostly need something to defend my bus.

[busdriverwithagun]

Oh, of course! It’s better usually to use stealth or defensive technology, but you never know when you’ll need an artillery cannon.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Awesome, is there anything that can temporarily distract an all consuming eldritch being?

[busdriverwithagun]

Hey… do you have any spare artillery I could borrow? - @officialoshabusdriver

Absolutely! As long as you don't intend to commit any war crimes.

Or any BIG war crimes, anyways.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Don't worry! I am not a part of any agreements defining war crimes so I can't legally commit war crimes even if I wanted to.

[busdriverwithagun]

Hm. A hologram of gun pops into existence behind them.

Most war crimes aren’t legal to begin with. Bit of a weird defense, don’t you think?

[officialoshabusdriver]

You would be surprised, but don't mind that. It was a poor attempt at humor. I mostly need something to defend my bus.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Pardon me? - @helpfulbusdriver

Yes?

[helpfulbusdriver]

I was wondering if, um, I could.. enlist your services? If it's no trouble.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Sure thing buddy, what do ya need?

[helpfulbusdriver]

Your bus travels to other dimensions, right? I.. I need to get something in the OSHA universe.

[officialoshabusdriver]

...I am really not supposed to bring people to the other dimensions.

[helpfulbusdriver]

Really?

Please, my friend. I need to go there. Are you sure you can't? [His voice grows desperate.] I'll give you something in exchange.

[officialoshabusdriver]

…If you can provide snacks and promise not to tell a soul I’ll bring ya.

[helpfulbusdriver]

I can keep a secret. [He relaxes.] Can you attach other vehicles to your bus, somehow?

[officialoshabusdriver]

Yup! Just bring it to me, and I’ll hook it up. Then we can go.

[helpfulbusdriver]

Alright. I'll be right back.

[He runs off and comes back after a good few minutes in a green van. He parks it behind the bus and pokes his head out of the driver's window.]

[officialoshabusdriver]

Osha hooks the bus to the back of their own bus before motioning Helpful to come over to the front.

[helpfulbusdriver]

[Helpful comes over with a large plastic bag stuffed with snacks.]

[officialoshabusdriver]

Alright, hold on tight and try not to barf on my bus!

Suddenly the world outside the bus starts to change. In a couple of seconds they are in a new place, next to a large building with OSHA in large letters on the wall.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Pardon me? - @helpfulbusdriver

Yes?

[helpfulbusdriver]

I was wondering if, um, I could.. enlist your services? If it's no trouble.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Sure thing buddy, what do ya need?

[helpfulbusdriver]

Your bus travels to other dimensions, right? I.. I need to get something in the OSHA universe.

[officialoshabusdriver]

...I am really not supposed to bring people to the other dimensions.

[helpfulbusdriver]

Really?

Please, my friend. I need to go there. Are you sure you can't? [His voice grows desperate.] I'll give you something in exchange.

[officialoshabusdriver]

…If you can provide snacks and promise not to tell a soul I’ll bring ya.

[helpfulbusdriver]

I can keep a secret. [He relaxes.] Can you attach other vehicles to your bus, somehow?

[officialoshabusdriver]

Yup! Just bring it to me, and I’ll hook it up. Then we can go.

[helpfulbusdriver]

Alright. I'll be right back.

[He runs off and comes back after a good few minutes in a green van. He parks it behind the bus and pokes his head out of the driver's window.]

[officialoshabusdriver]

Osha hooks the bus to the back of their own bus before motioning Helpful to come over to the front.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Pardon me? - @helpfulbusdriver

Yes?

[helpfulbusdriver]

I was wondering if, um, I could.. enlist your services? If it's no trouble.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Sure thing buddy, what do ya need?

[helpfulbusdriver]

Your bus travels to other dimensions, right? I.. I need to get something in the OSHA universe.

[officialoshabusdriver]

...I am really not supposed to bring people to the other dimensions.

[helpfulbusdriver]

Really?

Please, my friend. I need to go there. Are you sure you can't? [His voice grows desperate.] I'll give you something in exchange.

[officialoshabusdriver]

…If you can provide snacks and promise not to tell a soul I’ll bring ya.

[helpfulbusdriver]

I can keep a secret. [He relaxes.] Can you attach other vehicles to your bus, somehow?

[officialoshabusdriver]

Yup! Just bring it to me, and I’ll hook it up. Then we can go.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Pardon me? - @helpfulbusdriver

Yes?

[helpfulbusdriver]

I was wondering if, um, I could.. enlist your services? If it's no trouble.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Sure thing buddy, what do ya need?

[helpfulbusdriver]

Your bus travels to other dimensions, right? I.. I need to get something in the OSHA universe.

[officialoshabusdriver]

...I am really not supposed to bring people to the other dimensions.

[helpfulbusdriver]

Really?

Please, my friend. I need to go there. Are you sure you can't? [His voice grows desperate.] I'll give you something in exchange.

[officialoshabusdriver]

…If you can provide snacks and promise not to tell a soul I’ll bring ya.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Pardon me? - @helpfulbusdriver

Yes?

[helpfulbusdriver]

I was wondering if, um, I could.. enlist your services? If it's no trouble.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Sure thing buddy, what do ya need?

[helpfulbusdriver]

Your bus travels to other dimensions, right? I.. I need to get something in the OSHA universe.

[officialoshabusdriver]

...I am really not supposed to bring people to the other dimensions.

[busdriverwithagun]

Hey… do you have any spare artillery I could borrow? - @officialoshabusdriver

Absolutely! As long as you don't intend to commit any war crimes.

Or any BIG war crimes, anyways.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Don't worry! I am not a part of any agreements defining war crimes so I can't legally commit war crimes even if I wanted to.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Pardon me? - @helpfulbusdriver

Yes?

[helpfulbusdriver]

I was wondering if, um, I could.. enlist your services? If it's no trouble.

[officialoshabusdriver]

Sure thing buddy, what do ya need?

[officialoshabusdriver]

Pardon me? - @helpfulbusdriver

Yes?

[emperor-cronus]

Hey Buddy, I need to talk to you about something. - @officialoshabusdriver

"As long as it doesn't involve me being stabbed."

[officialoshabusdriver]

It shouldn’t, why don’t you take a seat in my bus for this conversation?

[emperor-cronus]

He nods and bemusedly boards the bus.

[officialoshabusdriver]

You aren’t supposed to be here, are you.

The driver shuts the door behind Cronus.

[emperor-cronus]

Cronus tilts his head, and looks more closely at the driver.

"Neither are you. But here we are regardless."

Cronus leans back in his seat. Somehow just through posture, he can make any chair a throne.

"If you intend to imprison or remove me, know that more powerful beings have died trying."

[officialoshabusdriver]

I am just a bus driver, I am in no way going to try anything of the sort, but be careful to not grab the attention of the dimensional guardians. They don’t like unauthorized travel.

The bus starts to drive down its normal route around the grounds of OSHA.

[emperor-cronus]

"Dimensional Guardians?" He scoffs. "Let me guess, some multiversal tyrant has decided that they don't want competition? Please. I've dealt with puffed-up warlords aplenty in my time."

[officialoshabusdriver]

Listen, unless you have another multiverse you can go to, I would not recommend that. If it weren’t for that, they would have been dealt with ages ago.

[emperor-cronus]

Hey Buddy, I need to talk to you about something. - @officialoshabusdriver

"As long as it doesn't involve me being stabbed."

[officialoshabusdriver]

It shouldn’t, why don’t you take a seat in my bus for this conversation?

[emperor-cronus]

He nods and bemusedly boards the bus.

[officialoshabusdriver]

You aren’t supposed to be here, are you.

The driver shuts the door behind Cronus.

[emperor-cronus]

Cronus tilts his head, and looks more closely at the driver.

"Neither are you. But here we are regardless."

Cronus leans back in his seat. Somehow just through posture, he can make any chair a throne.

"If you intend to imprison or remove me, know that more powerful beings have died trying."

[officialoshabusdriver]

I am just a bus driver, I am in no way going to try anything of the sort, but be careful to not grab the attention of the dimensional guardians. They don’t like unauthorized travel.

The bus starts to drive down its normal route around the grounds of OSHA.

[emperor-cronus]

Hey Buddy, I need to talk to you about something. - @officialoshabusdriver

"As long as it doesn't involve me being stabbed."

[officialoshabusdriver]

It shouldn’t, why don’t you take a seat in my bus for this conversation?

[emperor-cronus]

He nods and bemusedly boards the bus.

[officialoshabusdriver]

You aren’t supposed to be here, are you.

The driver shuts the door behind Cronus.