Me when Sanji had his personhood stripped and his right to consent ignored throughout basically his entire childhood and then again as an adult ohhhhhhhhhh. I bet he has a normal relationship with sex
Oh man, I just had a vivid thought of little Sanji complaining to Zeff cause one of the other cooks got engaged and he's just like "I thought he was better than that. Didn't realize he's a scumbag." And Zeff being like what the FUCK are you talking about.
Come to find out that Sanji was under the assumption that marriage is entrapping a woman so she can't date anyone else vs dating is between two consenting adults. He just assumed that happy marriages were only in books.
And Zeff just goes oh okay! So you've got a lot more wrong with your worldview than I previously thought. This is gonna take a while.
Also WRF!Sanji and "normal relationship with sex" don't belong in the same sentence. I know that man is unwell and easily spooked. He's in his 20s and was a known charmer before getting arrested, so I know he's got the basics but I feel like he's a stone service top. Y'know??
Less "touch me" and more "touch you." Most clothes stay ON during sex. He probably prefers to handle his arousal himself. Gets overwhelmed easily by physical touch. Lovers never leave dissatisfied unless they were looking to pleasure him too. I could go on for hours about WRF!Sanji's sex mannerisms, he's a little freak.
If you're thinking "but Blasphemy! WRF!Sanji doesn't like to initiate touch! How the fuck is he a stone service top?" Walk with me for a minute here.
To Sanji, beautiful lonely bastard that he is, sex is purely transactional. He gives pleasure, and in return is given companionship for a short amount of time. He's allowed to be soft and romantic and dote on them.
But that doesn't answer the whole Sanji doesn't like to touch first thing! Well that's simple. He doesn't see it as initiating. He allows his partner to lead until he sees what their expectations of the night are, and then he takes over. There's a certain amount of physical contact given tentative permission when you are about to have sex. Sanji plays in this area.
Ask any of his former lovers and you'll probably hear the same compliments; he listens well, he somehow knew what I like, he's good with his tongue etc etc. Sanji probably has a terminator-esque display in his mind when he's fucking. A whole catalog of "if:true, then..."
He's constantly studying their body language for pleasure, indifference, discomfort. Sex is probably mentally exhausting for him, for reasons clear to us and vague to himself. He's not allowing himself to enjoy it, sex is a task, he's supposed to be doing it right.
Anyways, its a lot more difficult to take the techniques he uses during sex to tell whether this or that touch is acceptable and apply it to nonsexual interactions. Sex has guidelines, friendship doesn't. He's so mentally stable you could park a horse in that brain. I want to hit him with hammers.
The alternate Zoro POV of the WRF!zosan first meeting!! aka Flint and Steel.
Minor spoilers maybe? Nothing I'll go into detail in the main fic, so just.. beware?
---
Zoro was not lost.
To be lost would mean he ended up somewhere he didn't belong, and there were enemies to defeat here in this huge ballroom. Therefore he belonged, because his job was to clear a path through the soldiers for his crew.
The fact that he was alone did not phase him, Zoro didn't need help for a few poorly trained men. He hoped for more of a challenge when he saw a number of them had swords instead of rifles, but was sorely disappointed.
Nothing to do but take care of the riffraff. Boring.
They didn't even use magic, though each carried a sigil hidden under their armor that activated as soon as the life drained from their eyes.
Necromancy was a foul practice, the residuals of the spells leaving shadows across his mana-sight. Like the aftermath of looking at the sun too long, the echo of it still imprinted on his eyelid.
That was all he expected to see, considering none of the soldiers acted like witches. Just a bunch of amateur fighters who thought Zoro would be at a disadvantage for using blades instead of guns.
Even the ones with their own swords were hesitant, their strikes weak against his own. He had no problem disarming them, or he would've, if not for the explosion of magic that came at the least opportune moment.
Zoro did not make mistakes. But as he was guiding a soldier into the prime position to wrest his sword away, all he saw in the empty nothingness of his left eye were embers. The kind that rained from metal as a blacksmith coaxed it into a blade, bright and inescapable and too fucking distracting.
At first he thought it came from the soldier, so he stepped aside to avoid a spell. Right into the path of the man's frenzied swing, as it turned out. Zoro ground his teeth into Wado when the skin of his hip split, blood splattering onto the already slick floor.
The man did not last long enough to see the result of his lucky shot.
He didn't often have trouble with depth, though Chopper worried he would considering his missing eye. But Zoro misread the intensity of the magic as closeness, and reacted incorrectly.
Idiot, Kitetsu hissed, enjoying the slide of fresh blood down his edge. You rely too much on your mana-sight.
Good thing he didn't ask for the opinion of a sword.
Zoro pulled his waistband up over the exposed flesh, a muscle ticking in his jaw at the sting of contact. His own fault. He knew the soldier wasn't a witch, he should've trusted his assessment.
This is boring, Enma declared once more, as though Zoro didn't hear him complaining the whole time. Give us a real fight.
Did he think Zoro enjoyed picking off these weak fools? There was nothing gained from a fight that didn't challenge him, and he found himself sighing when more soldiers came in with their weapons at the ready.
A real fight. He wouldn't mind finding the witch who cast that spell. The intensity of it was mouthwatering, surely they'd be dangerous enough to show him a good time.
Zoro walked calmly among the slain bodies, cutting through their necromantic sigils to keep them from walking again. It was the least he could do, considering they died like men.
Someone's watching.
He paused, allowing the sensation of prying eyes to wash over him. Sometimes Zoro enjoyed knowing he was in danger. But sneaky bastards irked him, especially when he was alone and they still chose to conceal themselves.
Dropping Wado into his palm, Zoro licked the blood from his teeth. The wall was blank, no sign of an entrance, but it hummed with magic. "Don't hide, coward. I can feel your eyes."
A moment later, the wall distorted and mana kicked up like dust in the wind. Out came a man, thin and tall and filthy head to toe. He was average to Zoro's right eye, but his magic…
It smoldered inside him. Central to his core, gathering tightly in the pit of his stomach and pulsing like a fresh wound. What a twitchy, wild thing. He did not often see such defensive magic.
"You're not a guard." Zoro said conversationally, looking the man up and down.
Maybe his shirt was once white, but now it was red and brown with drying blood. Smudges of black covered his forearms, his hair stringy with more blood that he tried and failed to get out.
The man himself was gaunt, his clothes baggy and his belt too big. Zoro had spent months seeing revolutionaries on the verge of starvation, so he was not phased by how fragile this little spy appeared. A hungry man was a dangerous one.
"Whose blood is that?"
"I don't know." He said, with a voice that was too hoarse to be called soft. So he spoke Common. That made things much easier. "Does it matter?"
Blunt. Zoro enjoyed that, though he was looking for a more substantial answer. How was he supposed to know if this guy was on his side now?
"Guess not. You shouldn't be here either way," Zoro explained as he watched the man fidget in place, fussing with the cuffs of his sleeves. Perhaps he worked as a servant. Dealing with aristocrats often left people's pride barren. "We were told all the staff would be elsewhere for the festival."
"This is a castle, not some-" The man paused, gesturing at Zoro like he was supposed to just understand. Was he Germish? He had a very subtle accent, if so. "Battlefield. People live here, you are the one who does not belong."
Definitely Germish. That choppy way of speaking sounded like a good portion of the people Zoro had met during his time in the snowy kingdom.
That, and his one visible brow was curled at the end. A rather defining Germish feature, if a rare one. "Easy, curly brow. I'm not the only one who's been making a mess."
Something about his words made the man's magic flare outward like wind blowing over hot coals. His fists tightened and his shoulders hunched inward, glaring through his greasy bangs. "I was defending myself."
So fiery, Kitetsu simpered. A little ember! How quaint.
Zoro ignored his mindless chatter, enjoying how easily the man riled up. If he was the witch from before, then it would not take much to goad him into a fight. If he wasn't, well, he should've said he was with the revolutionaries already.
"Sure," He said as he tasted the hints of blood on the back of his teeth. "So was I."
The magic pulsed, glowing brighter for a moment. Threatening to spill out of that starved vessel of a man, sparks flying. Funny how warm his magic was, when the man himself was so pale, his eye a stark ocean blue.
With a little meat on his bones, he'd be gorgeous. He certainly already had the face for it. Zoro didn't like pretty men, too often they placed their looks over skills, but this guy was already covered in viscera. He had no problem putting in the work.
"I am just passing through-" He started, hands raised as he glanced behind Zoro.
But Zoro wasn't done with him. He wanted to see that magic again, wanted to figure out why it was so reactive. A mystery to dissect, a pretty man to fight. Maybe, if he was lucky, a challenge.
From the way the man's gaze snapped to his hands, somehow catching his minute shift in stance, he figured luck was on his side. "You're not supposed to be here."
"Yes, and I will leave if you move." He kept his eye on Zoro's swords, though it flicked back up to his face a few times.
The tension in his body could be followed like a meteor's trail, that tangle of magic pulsing and twisting around his core. When it inevitably exploded, what would it do? What kind of pain would it inspire?
Zoro wanted to feel it for himself. "It's you, isn't it?"
His fear was palpable, yet so was his magic's instinct to react, threatening to burn its way out of him.
Stepping towards the man, fighting down a smirk when he immediately threw himself back, Zoro wondered if he'd be willing to share his time for a minor spar. Nothing too serious. He wouldn't even go for a killing strike.
"You're the witch who's bleeding everywhere." Zoro mused, watching the way the stranger's magic seemed to reach out to meet his challenge. A smear of light in the dark, sunlight shining through his eyelid and washing everything in the warmth of flesh.
"I'm not-"
"You are, I can practically taste it." He did, if he concentrated enough. Mana-sight was not actually sight, though he called it that to simplify it for others. It was an entirely new sense. And the man's magic was everywhere now. "Spilling out magic with every goddamn breath. Shit's giving me a headache."
Again, a simplification. Zoro likened it to a headache, when it was more of an aura. A presence in his mind. His blades hummed as they tasted it for themselves, their excitement leaching into his bones.
"That was you earlier, too. You got me stabbed." Zoro hooked his thumb in his waistband, jaw tight as the blood crusted fabric pulled away from the wound. Chopper was going to fillet him later.
"I didn't do anything, we just met!" Was he even aware of his own magic? Could he not feel it overflowing out of his body like a cup running over?
"You're not bleeding?"
"No!"
Or perhaps he was too aware, and the mana spilling out of him was intentional. "Then you're casting a spell."
The handle of Wado slid home between his teeth as he rolled his shoulders, a sense of comfort washing over him. He always felt amazing right before a fight, the adrenaline running a well traveled course through his veins.
He barely listened as the man tried once again to convince him he had the wrong guy, frantic as he backed away from Zoro's swords.
A witch who didn't want to claim his accomplishments. Well, there was a first for everything. "Liar."
Zoro flicked Kitetsu up, determined to get rid of the restless energy the sword gave off. So needy, always looking for the next battle. Here it is, he thought gleefully as the sword sang through the air, eat up.
The man, now scrambling on his ass for something to throw, whipped a soldier's helmet at him.
"Stand up and fight, witch."
"I don't want to fight!" He yelped as he dodged the blades artlessly. If he was trained, then he should kill his teacher. So twitchy, second guessing himself and flailing around like a newborn colt.
But his magic? Goddamn, it responded beautifully. Like a moth to a flame, Zoro was drawn in closer with each wave of sparks that flew off him. Close enough to see his eyes, feral and bluer than any waters Zoro crossed before they had the chance to meet.
There was a fire in those eyes that was not there a moment ago. A spark of life, a freshly lit lantern. Something that reached out and met each of Zoro's strikes with glee. Hungry men often longed for more than food, but this man was ravenous.
"Nothing you say is the truth. Why deny yourself this? Show me what you've got!"
Zoro, as he often did when fighting someone less skilled, allowed a single opening. Room for improvement, he figured, or leveling the playing field. A fair chance.
If the man refused to take it, then his will was weak. If he missed, he would never catch up to Zoro's level. Show me your worth.
He expected a punch. Anyone with experience would go for something guaranteed to hurt, and his liver was right there, open for a gut shot.
Instead the man twisted, leg coming in high and fast like a whip. It cracked against Zoro's side like one too, the force rattling all the way up his spine into his teeth.
Zoro's vision exploded into a shower of sparks. Summer festivals, the air sticky and warm as children raced past with little firecrackers in their fists. Streaking the night with popping colors.
He could taste the ash, heavy and coating his tongue as he breathed out smoke. His skin was hot, the sharp white ache of a burn sinking deep into the flesh. Sweat dripped down his face, stinging his eye.
And for the first time in a long time, he did not hear Kitetsu or Enma commenting. They were silent, humming in his grasp with barely contained excitement. Waiting for more blood instead of demanding it.
Again.
Zoro blinked as he stared down the man, who watched him take the hit with utter fascination. He was sure he-
Again, Wado ordered, quiet but insistent. She so rarely spoke up when he was fighting, content to let his skill speak for her. A shiver ran down Zoro's spine, glee pooling in his stomach.
"That's more like it." He said, teeth grinding against Wado's handle. The barest hint of Kuina's charm fluttered in his peripheral as he watched the man's interest finally, finally take root. "Are we gonna do this or what?"
---
Enjoy this perverted freak. Wish I could put him in my pocket fr. He's bewitched me body and soul.
Need Law, or someone not on the crew,to complain about Zoro and Sanji being obnoxiously in love, and how they are always rubbing it in everyone elses face.
Its important that this is someone not on the crew, someone eho never sees the quiet or sweet moments between the pair. No, this is someone who has only ever seen the two insulting each other and/or brawling.
Zoro coming out to the crew in the most random way part2
Franky: So yeah, the first time I was in an actual male body? The first time in my life I truly felt SUUUUUUPPEERRRRR. I was always a boy, a man, but being inside of one? Transcending.
Zoro: I'd also like to know what's it's like to be inside a man.
Zoro and Sanji dating for like 5 months and the whole time Zoro makes it sound like he's a single father of 3 kids. So Sanji kind of operates on that. He's trying to make himself seem impressive and responsible, showing off how good he is with kids. He REALLY wants to be involved and accepted in every part of Zoro's life.
Then finally, Zoro invites Sanji to his apartment. Sanji is looking around. The apartment is pretty bare bones. Lawn chair instead of a couch. No dining table to be seen. Outdated laptop on top of a milk crate. The kitchen is small and looks barely used aside from the stove top and toaster and microwave. The fridge is cluttered with magnets that he remembers Luffy gifting but that's it. Protein powder and what looks like gummy vitamins sit together on the counter. It's very clean—so pretty much zero evidence of children living here whatsoever. Sanji is confused. Even more so when Zoro says "they aren't usually hiding when I get home. Must've already known you were coming, they're kind of shy." As he's going to a cabinet and shaking a plastic container of tiny brown squares.
And then out runs two cats, another sauntering in. And Sanji is just. He's broken. Because he thought they were human children. Because Zoro would mention how one threw up in her bed and sulked for an hour straight, the other wakes him up every morning by smacking him in the face, and the third one, the youngest, just turned four.
Zoro carries a handful of cats over to the living room floor, Sanji follows mindlessly. And he just sits there. Not even listening to Zoro as he introduces them. His brain is broken right now. Because all this time, his boyfriend is just a dedicated cat person. Well get ready for the next surprise because remember how he said his apartment is a two bedroom? He doesn't have a roommate, oh no. No, the cats all have a room to themselves and it's the most decorated room in the entire apartment. Like Zoro doesn't even own an actual bedframe, it's just an old mattress on a wooden pallet. Meanwhile, there are two cat towers, dozens of plastic springs, several cat beds, designated food bowls and water bowls....
And guess what? Somehow this all just makes Sanji love Zoro more ♥️
Zoro who really wants to be out and open about his relationship with Sanji
Sanji who ALWAYS wants to be out and open about his relationship with Zoro
Zoro and Sanji who believe the other wants to keep their relationship a secret
The entire crew and Marines and whole world government and the bottom of the ocean who literally already know Zoro and Sanji are together, they're just really fucking stupid
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