I've been talking recently to cis lesbians who are resentful over what they perceive as the wider queer community "celebrating the trans women who fought for gay rights" while "ignoring the lesbians who cared for gay men dying of AIDS". And, yeah, while there is definitely a strong element of "AMAB privilege 🙄" TERFism going on there (along with an implicit refusal to allow that a lesbian caring for a gay man in the 80s could herself be trans) I also think there's a complete ignorance of the material nature of oppression.
Example: There is a queer book club where I live, run by a cis lesbian and a cis gay man. They march at Pride with a big banner that says "Trans Rights Now" while wearing "Protect the Dolls" T-shirts. To a neutral observer, these seem like people who are really pro-trans and specifically pro-trans women, and even more specifically pro-Black and Latina trans women right?
But you will also notice that there are no trans or non-white people marching in their group at Pride. You'll notice that there are zero trans women who attend the book club meetings. You'll notice that, in the past 18 months (I've checked) at the queer book club where they wear T-shirts with a slogan about Black and Latina trans women, they have read zero books by trans women and zero books about trans women and zero books by Black people and zero books about Black people and one book about a Latina (but written by a white person).
And you'll notice that they recently arranged a group trip to a lecture by an "LGB activist" which took place in a venue with an AGAB toilet policy (which is *not* a legal requirement where I live). And if you talk to the few trans women who have been to this book club in the past, you'll hear about how they were ignored, spoken over, misgendered, belittled, how the gay men seemed to hate them but the lesbians also seemed to hate them and the transmascs also seemed to hate them and so they had to just sit on their own in a corner and they didn't go back a second time.
And somehow you can be a cis lesbian at one of these book club meetings, who hears one of the organisers say something positive about something a trans woman did 50 years ago, and you will feel resentful that trans women are taking up too much space compared to cis lesbians. Even though you're at a queer group which is nearly half cis lesbians, that's co-run by a cis lesbian, reading a book by a cis lesbian about a group of cis lesbians.
And you haven't even noticed that there are zero trans women at this group, or that you've never read a book by or about a trans woman. And if a trans woman did happen to show up, you'd feel that she was taking up too much space by trying to talk to you, so you'd ignore and isolate her and she wouldn't come back.
And as a trans woman who has historically given this book club far too many second chances, I would happily trade you all the vague positivity of pro-trans slogans from cis "allies" who will never actually do anything material to help me, for the actual material privileges you have over me that you are not even aware you have.
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