let me be brave

Sky | 34 An anxious mess.

[howmostardently]

this is very important to me… does louis know he has to pay child support…

[catsofyore]

Baby. Postcard from my collection, ca. 1900.

[covenforclaudia]

Claudia, Agency and Bruce's "Retribution"

(long post) this is predominately a LouClaudia post addressing her assault, the diary pages and Louis' revenge on the Fang Gang. This does contain a lot of critique of Louis (he is my favourite character) and i want to make clear that my discussions of he and Lestat's parenting and response to Claudia's assault is not a black and white "good parent/bad parent" analysis but something that is part of this post in general.

this post has actually changed from when i initially started writing it after i watched After Dark, saw some reaction clips and some responses of other fans. there was obviously an instinctive need for Bruce to face a horrible death and to have what's coming for him. it's a natural response, we are empathetic human beings and who believe in justice. but i love that this killing was not a moment for some kind of audience gratification and certainly did not result in being gratifying for Louis, that it didn't feel like some kind of Promising Young Woman (2020) vigilantism that forgets about the voice of the victims. the show makes it clear that Claudia had no choice in the matter.

in 1x06, as Louis is recovering, he asks Claudia to maybe even "give him a name" of the person who he has now understood has assaulted her. her response is a sarcastic one, but it highlights that she very much wants to keep distance from her kidnapping and abuse from Bruce. she says: "are you going to be my knight in vengeful black?" which for one, is a resounding NO to Louis' idea of getting revenge, and also that this experience is something for the time being that she wants to process for herself. it's about her. Louis going out supposedly in her name would not benefit her at this point, it would only help his image as the "dark angel," once again reinforcing that Claudia is a tool Louis uses for his own "redemption."

this tracks up until 2x03, when Louis is "prying to keep [them] safe" and Claudia responds with "[i don't remember what else you want me to say] i remember what i remember." this once again is Claudia trying to personalise her own experience. it is bad enough that she has had to share minor details about Bruce in some capacity as a cover for the murder of Lestat, but she now she feels once again that Louis has over-stepped. it makes the moment when she finally does reveal some details later in the coffin more touching and more harrowing, as we see that to some extent Claudia is rebuilding her trust with Louis. not only does this make Louis and Armand's reading of her diaries after her death all the more wrong, it worsens when you think about the control Louis then has over these pages, essentially adopting and owning Claudia's story, despite her rebuttal in 1x06 representing it as an event that belongs to her.

in 1x05, the Dubai scenes with Daniel are some of my favourite from the Dubai moments. Not only because of how meta some of his dialogue is (about how fans of the book may misconstrue the meanings like fans of the show do) because though it is a supposedly "protective" action of Claudia, it is complete hypocrisy for Louis to claim "to not have her exploited" but then even give Daniel ANY of her diaries in the first place. Louis already knows that Claudia hated her diary being read without her permission from the flashbacks in 1x05, but her wishes are completely ignored once again.

some might argue that Lestat also read her diaries in 1x05, but the context is very much different. Claudia was going through a mental crisis, her behaviour was dangerous and was risking putting both Lestat and Louis in danger as well. the reading of her diary at that point was because she was still technically a child of the household, who Lestat and Louis has a responsibility over. it was those complicated issues of a child's privacy vs. a child's safety. however for the rest of the show, Claudia is a full blown adult. Louis is no longer responsible for her in the same way, yet after she dies, Louis takes it upon herself to read her journals in what audiences can interpret as a way to still feel close to her in his grief, and in essence "editorialise" her story to Daniel. there are so many levels of wrong to this, it is so horribly violating, which is why i feel like the scene with Bruce is representative of that.

Louis reads Claudia's recording of her assault to Bruce, in fact, he has it memorised. Louis still getting choked up as he reads was firstly incredibly acting from Jacob Anderson, but i also think the first indicator that this death of Bruce will not solve anything. it will not take this grief away. it will not bring Claudia back. i see lots of different takes who often talk about the Train Scene (which is has been hinted at not even happening) and somewhat blame Lestat for not going out to hunt down Bruce despite knowing what he did to Claudia, and i think this disregards Claudia's feelings. that is NOT want she wants. she spent six years with Louis who was more than ready to do so, but she chose to not even tell him. people fail to realise that Lestat understands Claudia perhaps more than the other characters.

repeatedly, he tells Louis of the emotional disturbance he can see in Claudia after her rape. "she came back altered"/" there is a darkness in her that wasn't there before" (1x06) except...Louis does not necessarily care for this very evident ruthlessness of Claudia. though in the same episode he does call her out for being "ugly" when she behaves cruelly towards Lestat, he does little offer Claudia a different solution. in essence, we see this new "artful predator" of Claudia run rings around Louis. she shuts him down in the debate about "making compromises" and continues to encourage secret communication between the two despite it being against the family rules. Louis does not want to accept that the girl who has returned is no longer the excitable teenager he was previously raising, that she has become hardened and different, so as per usual he buries his head in the sand and allows her to continue with her plotting.

i bring up this point to show that getting revenge on Bruce, both back then and now was "never about [Claudia]." the help Louis should have instead offered, was the emotional support Claudia clearly needed, which he ignored like he always does when Claudia begins acting out (like in 1x05) because he only likes to see Claudia as his doll and as his "throw pillow," her purpose being the multiple ways she can emotionally serve him (e.g. feeling less guilty over her life if he kills Bruce)

of course, this is not to say that Louis does not love Claudia, here is a post i made recently unpicking their season 2 dynamic that i love. but i think i just love the show perfectly illustrating how hollow of a "victory" this is for Louis, not only because it doesn't solve his grief or erase his mistakes, but for the fact that had Claudia still been alive, she probably would have never wanted this.

[orchidblum]

Sweet dreams

[giadishere]

Sarah Swire as Tough Cookie in THE VAMPIRE LESTAT

[ainosgarden]

a miracle without a revelation a saint with a vengeance

details and references under the cut

*Louis's sword based on the sword held by Archangel Michael, the angel of death, portrayed as the bronze statue atop the Castel Sant'Angelo, designed by Peter Anton von Verschaffelt

*the family of flowers of death based on the woodcut art Death and the Flower by Akseli Gallen-Kallela, born from the artist's grief over the death of his young daughter

[sunstiana]

The Empyrean twins…

[weardes]

[endiness]

but that the season wasn't subtle at all with how it was centered around lestat having been sexually abused by his mother for over two centuries—abuse which started before they were ever even vampires—and that the finale culminates in lestat finally starting to come to terms with that knowledge to the point of standing up to gabriella and rejecting her from his life yet people keep going on about how "nothing happened this season" and "lestat didn't suffer at all" or at least "not enough" (in a season where lestat was sexually and/or physically assaulted every episode) and "there were too many 'sex' scenes between gabriella and lestat" (re: scenes of gabriella sexually assaulting lestat) and "there was too much focus on them" (in a season about how much gabriella sexually abusing lestat has affected him.)

[jacindaelena]

Gwrych Castle by wander_linaa

[apotter]

hmm guys? I think you’re losing the plot, yes iwtv and tvl has its flaws but this show is literally the best thing on TV rn? wtf are you guys on?

[apotter]

hmm guys? I think you’re losing the plot, yes iwtv and tvl has its flaws but this show is literally the best thing on TV rn? wtf are you guys on?

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

Re: The harmful BBC stereotype and characterizing Louis as the top in Loustat when canon depicts him as the bottom, and Anne Rice even said that book Louis was the bottom in the Loustat relationship.

This is forever a complex issue, but it rubs me the wrong way every time y'all feminize Lestat and make him Louis' girlfriend/wife that he tops. I'm going to try to articulate this with some level of intelligence. It honestly is not about their sexual positions themselves--- it's about the stereotypes that make y'all write like this. Meme like this. Make fanart like this. And it's that this is the BULK of it, too. Bottom Louis should not be rare when he is canonically the bottom in the relationship.

I have said before that I think at the very least you all should imagine that they switch. But I am revising that, because you guys still use that as an excuse to make Louis MOSTLY the top. IT IS RACIST, guys. You guys are being racist. Like, you are applying sexual aggression and BBC/mandingo/bull stereotypes to Louis, guys. Unwarranted, at that.

I was talking to my brother about a week ago, not about Loustat at all, but he was saying that the reason he no longer likes to date non-Black people is because of this stereotype. Because of the disturbing, nasty things people say to him before he even knows them well enough to want to sleep with them, because they think all Black men have huge cocks and are sexually aggressive bulls in bed who only want to dominate their partners. This is why you guys in fandom who do this every time there is a Black male character with a non-Black partner are perpetuating harm. You are making characters adhere to stereotypes, which perpetuates those stereotypes, and then affects real human beings in their day-to-day lives.

Another user from another fandom made a TikTok about just that. EVERY pairing with a POC and a white character, you make the POC the top. Which is bad enough when the ship is just a ship and is not canon and we don't see the characters actually have sex. Like SamBucky or whatever. They're not canonically in a relationship on screen, so of course, we have never seen them be sexual with each other on screen. Therefore, there is NO REASON to assume Sam would be the top. But in the case of Loustat, we HAVE seen them have sex on screen. Now, the sex was not explicit like Heated Rivalry. But what we are shown very clearly implies that Lestat is penetrating Louis. Very clearly! And yet, most of the fandom still behaves and writes and memes like Louis is THE MAN and Lestat is THE WOMAN, like Louis is THE TOP and Lestat is THE BOTTOM, and like... it's weird. It feels racist. And it feels racist because it is. You guys were never told that. Nobody said that. Canon never showed you that. You made it up because you think blond is soft and Black is aggressive.

I think it's partially because a lot of you are AFAB white people and you are self-inserting with Lestat, and YOU want to be the bottom. You want to receive, so you self-insert on Lestat and make Louis top a sort of mental version of yourself.

I also think it's porn brain. Porn is obsessed with gigantic Black dicks penetrating tiny white people (both in straight and gay porn). Porn has so many people, especially white people, convinced that all Black men are walking around with gigantic third arms in their pants and are made to only destroy tight little pink pussies and bussies. That shit is fetishization. It's not accurate. It's harmful to real people. It's hypersexualizing real Black men.

And you think that because most men want to be thought of as having a big dick, this is somehow a compliment. But positive stereotypes still come with harm. Think back to my brother, getting approached by whites who seem like they sincerely like him, only to drop some nasty shit about his dick in the first conversation.

I also wanna say that, the reality is that Black men have dicks around the same sizes as everyone else. They are not necessarily bigger or smaller. Some Black men have really small dicks. Some have huge dicks. And everything in between. The average size for most men is around 5 or 6 inches. Period. Almost everywhere around the world. The stereotypes you hear about dick size are stereotypes. Also, dick size does not correlate to sexual aggression or desire to top, anyway. A man who prefers to bottom can have a nice-sized dick. Preferences in bed are not related to that at all. The reason you see it in porn, which I know is why y'all write like this, is because it's a fetish. Okay?

Also, not that this would matter for topping and bottoming either, but IDK why y'all characterize Lestat as the soft queen and Louis as the masculine top so hard when Jacob has discussed basing Louis' mannerisms on two Black women and a gay Black man. Literally most of Louis' mannerisms are Eartha Kitt down. He is really femme, guys.

And also, not that this matters for topping and bottoming, but Sam is larger than Jacob, too. Taller and more muscular. So, how he ends up being the demure little princess and Jacob's character ends up being the dominant bull in your fics is beyond me. Y'all fanfic girlies usually EAT UP size difference, but here, not only is it never mentioned, but y'all almost flip their size difference and the way it is typically used in fanfic.

Again, in real life, between two real men, none of that would matter. Some people prefer to top, some prefer to bottom, some are vers. Size of body or penis not really factored into that. Individuals are individuals.

But in this case, in this fictional pairing, we have a canonical answer about Lestat and Louis... and y'all just outright refuse it. And it's because you have BBC fetish brain, and also you refuse to allow a Black man softness, especially next to a pale blond with blue eyes. It's so weiiiirddddd, and it's gross, and racist, and I'm tired of it! Y'all don't even imagine them switching, and if you claim you do, it's still just an excuse to make Louis top most of the time, so you can say "See? They switch."

I am sure this won't make a difference. And it wouldn't bother me so much if y'all weird Top!Louis shit didn't dominate so much of the fanworks. The shit comes across my FYPs on here and TikTok organically, even though I have made it my mission to never give it likes because it's canonically wrong, it dominates the bulk of the fanworks, and it's racist. But I do hope at least a few of you will stop for a moment and think about WHY you think Louis would naturally be the top in this pairing. And MAYBE consider doing better in the future.

[redstonedust]

died and lost all my items in a cave: but don't worry. if i simply run back into the cave with zero (0) items. i will surely do better this time. this has never gone wrong for anybody.

[starregulus]

Guys im sorry to bream it to you but Lestat's favourite artists are NOT Chappell Roan, Charli XCX and Addison Rae. That man would think all modern music is ass. He's lived for like 300 years guys... His favourite artists are some obscure bands he heard in the 1800s that no one has heard about ever that he probably founded and was the only listener of

He likes opera and classical music I promise you he's not bumping to Taylor Swift

[muireana]

I don't fully disagree but I don't agree either. I don't think he would love most of mainstream pop music because he would find vocals and instrumentation lacking. But because he has lived for almost 300 years he would be fascinated by changing trends and influences. This is the best part, how music is changing throughout the decades, what inspirations you can find, how instruments and vocals are used!

Also, Lestat likes jazz, as we can see from Louis perspective. I'm pretty sure he would appreciate other genres too, as long as there is substance and great performance. Modern music in much more than only pop and even pop can be fun and clever.

And what is even modern music? By some definitions Debussy, Ravel, Saint-Saëns or Richard Strauss are modern composers and he definitely likes Pelleas et Melisande. It had to be definitely very modern, very unusual opera for someone from 18th century - no typical structure, almost no arias (aside from Melisande's song about her hair) and heavy use of leitmotifs. After its premiere critics described it as "sounding like the noise of a squeaky door or a piece of furniture being moved about, or a child crying in the distance". But is seems our vampire is fond of it, even though he was definitely older than those critics.

He also seems interested in collecting folk music for Akasha, even though he could just play other things for her, music he already knew. He just likes discovering new kinds of music and I don't see why it would be different in current times.

On a more personal note, I'm not very well versed in current mainstream music, especially pop music, I don't know much of rock music either. I'm opera fan, I love classical music, early music, traditional and folk music and I'm the most knowledgeable about these genres. But it doesn't mean I don't listen to different kinds of music. The more you know about any genre of music, the more you can enjoy and appreciate any given piece of music no matter the type (or not, if it is really awful piece of garbage), because you know how it works and why it works! It only gets better.

Why this reblog about vampires became a random half personal music rant? I don't know? Maybe because I don't really like drawing thick line between classical music and other genres, especially when classical music was just pop music of the past. And also when people thinks liking opera is a personality trait that prevents people from liking and enjoying other things? Not sure. But here we are.

Tldr: Lestat would enjoy different types of music as long as they're interesting and performance is good

[ohforgottensky]

Kept thinking "wow my feed is amazing today, this is a surprising amount of good takes on TVL" and then I realised I was scrolling your blog.

Anway I hope you find money on the ground and get to see your favourite baby animal irl soon

Awww thank you, that's so sweet ❤️

[cherub-esque]

complaints about the pacing of tvl as if it’s poor writing confuse me because this is a completely different narrative from louis’ right? louis had decades to think about how he was going to tell his story, he had armand to plan with, it was calculated and designed to be seductive and tidy. he needs the audience to come away from the story understanding him. and then it was organized and written by a professional journalist. the pacing is going to be even and smooth.

lestat is not methodical. he is impulsive and only barely grasping onto reality. his emotions drive him in the most chaotic ways. the way he’s going to tell his story is going to be much more akin to how regular people tell stories where you bounce around. you get too deep into the present story before realizing you need to back up and explain some things for it all to make sense. you leave some things out because you forget you’re the only person who knows that context. you justify things you’re not ready to admit are awful yet. he did not have decades to plan out his narrative. he woke the queen, the world is ending, he figures people should know how this even happened and on a whim he sits down to record his experience of the events sitting alone in his home. he’s recalling losing his fucking shit, and maybe his brain wasn’t entirely focused on storing those memories very well. and maybe he wants to embellish because he’s lestat. he loves the drama. and he doesn’t have anyone there to guide him through it and ask questions so it makes more sense.

yeah, the pacing is going to be different and off intentionally. it’s meant to reflect the change in narrative.

i do understand just not liking it, it’s not the kind of thing you enjoy, etc. but it IS purposeful.