SHOW ME THE ANCIENT JAPANESE MAN'S SPIRIT! @ohlookhedid - Tumblr Blog

me: kisses a girl for attention

me: dates a girl attention

me: proposes to a girl on the beach at sunset for attention

me: marries a girl in a small intimate wedding on the steps of the local courthouse, adopts a fluffy dog with her, loves and cherishes her for the rest of our days for attention

how-late-am-i

have you guys ever noticed how pretty the bi flag is???

Like, look at it

It looks like a sunset

just

#the sky is bi confirmed

formerfundie

You wanna get people to hate you? Just claim the whole fucking sky belongs to your favorite kink.

femslashtrash-deactivated201811

Anyways…i cant believe the whole sky belongs to bisexuals (excluding rainbows those belong to gays )

ithotyouknew2-deactivated201710

My kink is being bi

shiraglassman

This is even funnier than gal pal

We just bought a cute sofa from an antique shop, while being very obviously a couple and looking like a butch/femme salt and pepper shaker set, and the shop owner wanted to know how long we’d been, and I quote, “hanging out.”

shiraglassman

I’ll still laughing at this the next morning.

fireandwonder

*gets down on one knee in front of gal pal* *takes out ring* Will you hang out with me?

skunkydpoopy

There was one time I was out shoe shopping with my partner and I was debating buying these cute pastel green shoes. The saleswoman was like “well why don’t we ask your friend here?” I said “oh actually this is my partner.” The woman stared at us blank faced for a few awkward seconds before forcibly smiling and saying, “partner in crime?”

shiraglassman

JAW….DROP….

lady-patra

In a store once with a girl I used to date, browsing through all these different mattresses. One of the sales ladies came over and talked about all the beds with us for quite some time while we told her what we were looking for. It was painfully obvious we were a couple, like literally holding hands and calling each cute pet names out loud. Finally the sales lady laughs nervously and says “sooo.. wow, what kind of roommate setup is that that forces you two to have to share a bed!?” I just sort of stared at her for second at a complete loss and said “… the dating kind…”

ohbrae-deactivated20170317

me: *lays awake at 3 a.m. thinking of the bomb ass breakfast and coffee i’m gonna make in a few hours*

me waking up past noon: i will have a potato chip. this will suffice as nourishment.

australian-government-deactivat

I can’t sleep someone tell me a story

amourterne-deactivated20180712

I grew up thinking eminem was my uncle for no valid reason and when I realized he wasn’t I was so shocked

chubbinafatzarelli

this is the single saddest thing I’ve ever seen on cutthroat kitchen

serinos-kitt

The contestant didn’t speak English as a first language Due to this the judge didn’t judge his dish as biscuits and gravy but as brisket and gravy and the contestant moved onto the next round After this Alton started explaining the dish he was asking them to make more in detail to make sure it didn’t happen again.

xx-mama-k-xx

The judge was totally cool too cuz it was he British guy and he told the contestant “they’re the ones with the accent, not us”

horreurscopes

my cashier at publix was this sweet old lady and she pointed out that i was getting flowers and i was like yeah, they’re for my girlfriend because we argued a bit this morning but it’s ok though we made up, and she was like, when my husband and i argue he won’t talk to me all day! and i wanted to be like, girl, how long have you been together, forty, fifty years? Dump Him

micdotcom

Watch: Brian Yu’s heartbreaking poem will strike anyone with students loans to the core.

babyanimalgifs

Aw, this is cute.

ask-ickle-mod

Honestly I can’t believe that I’m watching this right now. This is This is the sweetest most gentle and loving and pure thing I’ve ever beheld and I feel so blessed to have seen this

his-shining-tears

“Sshh don’t cry, my baby.”

millennial-review-deactivated20

official-north-korea-blog

Minimum wage: $7.25

$7.25 x 40 hour full time work week: $290

$290 x 4 weeks per month: $1,160

In every Southern state (didn’t have time to look at the rest of the country) you can find some sort of studio apartment for around $500 per month, sometimes less than that. Why bother lying about something so easily disproven?

father-of-hope-and-fury

Because Bernie Sanders supporters aren’t going to fact check him, and they’ll ignore any contrary evidence that’s presented to them anyways.

fartsandprayers

Things like this really tick me off and It’s not political or anything but it’s the fact that you think all that money is there. Here’s what I mean;

That weekly check comes to, according to you, 290. Most places DO NOT pay for your half hour lunch that is required by law. So your beginning number was wrong. $7.25 x 7.5 hours a day x 5 days a week only gets you $271.88. Most people in America get paid bi-weekly, so let’s double it to get the budget. $543.75. That’s GROSS, not NET. Out of that comes anywhere between 10% and 15% taxes depending on state so we’ll low ball it at 10%. Automatically down to $489.38 a pay check. Now health insurance. Usually anywhere from 70-100 a pay check for the cheapest plans. Again, we’ll low ball and go $70. So now we have $419.39 a paycheck. x 2 = $839.

Eight hundred thirty nine dollars. A MONTH.

But again, you seem to think that’s fair. So let’s proceed. You say rent is $500? Okay. This person now has $339 left to buy groceries for the whole month, pay utilities, car payment, car insurance, and gas money to get to work.

Those are the bare needs. You have to eat. You have to pay for heat, water, garbage removal, gas and or electricity because apartments do not always include things and rarely all of the above. Most cities in America do not have public transportation. Mine doesn’t despite the fact that our population is over 15,000 people, not counting a taxi. If you have a car, you have to pay that. If you have a car, legally you have to have car insurance. You have to pay that. You have to have gas in that car to get to work to make that money.

Now if you can tell me you can get all of that out of $339 you’re lying.

You are so focused on rent that you aren’t thinking about everything else people have to pay for. Rent was an example. This is a breakdown of the budget you gave me and it’s not possible to live off that in 2017 America.

And BECAUSE this person makes over $800 a month, they probably won’t qualify for financial aid or food stamps. $800 is the line in my state where they won’t help you. No food stamps, financial aid, or government housing if you make more than $800 a month.

Why does it bother you that people deserve to live above the poverty line?

straightwhiteboyproblems

😦who☝did 😲 this??? 😳😳 👏nick👏mackenzie👏kacie and 👏Matt 😥don't😥 deserve this😧😧

wittgensteinsmister

I fucking love Tumblr mobile

themixtrovert

“i can’t do that because of my religious beliefs”

okay

“you can’t do that because of my religious beliefs”

not okay

mettic

My ireland native father once told me that the first time he ever saw people use water for hot chocolate was when he came to america, and said that it was then that he “knew this country was doomed”

mettic

ive made a lot of posts that i honestly hate once they started making notes but this one has absolutely taken the cake of “man i really wish i didn’t make this post” because you dont realize how dumb people get when you start food discourse.

however it was definitely a learning experience. for example here’s some things I learned:

-many people who make hot chocolate with water saw this post and somehow thought that my dad literally thinks they’re the doom of modern america and that this out of text quote from a man they never met was personally directed at them.

-Some people literally had never even had the thought of using milk for hot chocolate. literally flabbergasted. ive had people reply, send asks and even DM in multiple variations of “if it not water than what the else?”. Had one dude actually thank me for introducing the concept of milk for hot chocolate. wild.

-There are just some fucking geniuses on this site. So many inanely smart people hitting me up with things like “ummm OP have you ever heard of… lactose intolerance????” and “maybe some people… can’t afford milk?” I never possibly thought of any of that. man i hope yall felt super smart after that. shame yall couldn’t spend some of that riveting world knowledge on googling “lactose intolerant milk alternatives.” the world will never discover what almond milk is.

-some shit about the difference between hot chocolate and hot cocoa holy god i cannot care

-fungi fucker is something you can call people.

-apparently i should just do whatever the fuck the aztecs/mayans did. obviously the optimal thing to do in the year 2017 is to emulate empires that fell in the 16-17th century. as you can guess the aztecs/mayans used water for their chocolate beverages. some people also liked to remind me cows and therefore milk were basically unavailable in their part of the world during these time peroids, thus forcing them to use water for their chocolate beverages and despite them knowing this they still use water for their hot chocolate. These people are very smart.

-it is acceptable human behavior to send anonymous messages to people telling their dad to “simmer down” over chocolate based beverages.

transphysics-deactivated2023040

OMG this is the best summary of the Tumblr Discourse I’ve ever seen.

silver123456789011

Lol. Hot chocolate with water is alright but milk is much better.

horreurscopes

faking your own death is near impossible but only people who have failed get caught. we don’t know how many people have faked their own death and succeeded

sandandglass

oreides-blog

fucking rich white people laughing at how poverty is some diet they should try.

chroniczipsandbongrips

Wow

greedyshitbird

#spoiler alert: $133 a month means you’ll be eating a shitton of dollar menu #cheap pasta #little to no quality meat and veggies #so you would in fact balloon up #so good for you you try that see how it works out