going to work 😌
the extremely ominous part in the middle where he picked up a hammer and just held it for a minute like he was threatening the car into compliance
@identifying-cars-in-posts
2008-2017 Wuling Rongguang/Chevrolet N300
went on a fun prev tags hunt to find this and so now all of you have to see it too
That isn't even a car any more, that thing is a Contraption
That isn’t even
a car any more, that thing
is a Contraption
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I have driven cars like this.
As a teen, I wanted a car to drive to school and stuff, so my father got one of the vans running for me. It was made the same year I was. Ford E-line van. The start sequence was, like, pump the gas pedal a specific number of times, count to 5, and turn the ignition.
Now, the key I had for it was the worn-down key that actually started both (and then all 3) of the mid-70s E-line vans in our driveway. Which meant you actually had to jiggle it just right.
Sometimes you had to open the engine compartment (called the doghouse) which was between the driver and passenger seat in front. Open up the air filter and spray a shot of stuff from an aerosol can into it, then close it all back up and start the van.
The gas gauge lied, so I had to track the mileage to make sure it wasn't empty. The automatic transmission was starting to go out so I sometimes had to actually manually shift it, sorta.
This was the preferred van, because the *other* one had a standard transmission that was finicky as hell and tended to either stall out, or the gears would lock while shifting. When that happened, we would set the brake, get out, reach in through the front grill to unlock the gears, at which point we are in neutral. Hop back in and drive along until it stalled out or the gears got locked again. My father made a funny tool that made it easier to unlock the gears.
Then there was the 67 Chevy Impala, that we had just started to get running pretty well when I got into a 3 car accident.
I named my 78 Pontiac Marge because she looked like she had had 3 kids go through her really roughly. The day my moms car was stolen, I discovered that a strange starting sequence is, in fact, a perfect theft-deterrent; I had evidence that the thief attempted to steal my car first and was unable to start it.
Hell, I'm still in the habit of asking "how do I start it?" If I borrow someone else's car. This came in handy when they started using the button instead of a key.
I too, had a car like this. 1990 Oldsmobile Eighty Eight Royale Delta. Same thing with the automatic transmission; it would stick in second gear, so you'd have to rev the engine then let off the gas, so it would shift into third.
Gas guage had a quarter tank variance, had to use the odometer.
The whole dash panel was fried, thanks to my ex and his buddy. (A cassette got stuck in the tape deck, and they tried to pry it out with a metal spatula, shorted the electrical system)No turn signals (had to manually flick the lever). No dash lights. Horn decided to work when it wanted to (I had a bumper sticker that I meant to put on it that said "horn broken, watch for finger")
Speedometer was popped (same ex, tried to speed test on one of those radar signs that tells you how fast you're going... thing is, the speedometer on that car only went to 85mph... the sign said 119mph....).
Seat was busted. I'm short af, so I had a milk crate in the back seat, and couch cushion in the front, so I could reach the pedals.
Window motors were busted too; you had to have two people push the window up, one on each side. THIS WAS IN FLORIDA.
Heheh and I used to street race that beast (shut up, I was in my 20s) I tell people all the time, when you're on city streets in traffic, the car don't count for shit. It's the driver. Your reaction time, knowing the traffic patterns, as well as your vehicle. And most importantly, how big your proverbials are. As a woman who felt she had something to prove (back then, at least) and a passive death wish, mine were bigger than most dudes.
I got pulled over for it once... the cop stared at the car in disbelief.
