With a side of...

...bacon, fries, life, reality, tragedy, ketchup, comedy. Whatever you care to order really. In which the classic tale of the country mouse visiting the big city unfolds. Or the montage of the young heroine leaving behind the homestead to get an education in Europe. It's just the classic hero's story line. But with twists. I'll keep you informed on how the kitchen is doing--what it cares to serve you is ultimately up to it though.

[sarahseeandersen]

[oldling]

Real life problems

[thrashlifeworldwide]

[strangebiology]

Are you vegan

To prevent anon hate, I think it would be a better idea if I didn’t answer this. I have almost never seen anyone get more bent out of shape on the internet than when they hear someone else’s diet. Perhaps ask something less personal, like my sexuality.

[cliveasrael]

@oldling this is so accurate it hurts

[oldling]

@cliveasrael it's that line in Psych "I WOULD RATHER DATE A VEGAN" (rather than do something particularly heinous).

But actually the sexuality thing is a highly guarded secret. Plus if I talk about it, I lose my membership card.

[preachelectric]

when u have a 2am mental breakdown but u wake up fine the next day

[oldling]

Oh hai tumblr

I have some angst. So buckle your pants.

[motivation-and-fitness]

[the-perfect-aesthetic]

[oldling]

Hello Tumblr

[lelaid]

Emilio Pucci F/W 2015

[sparksd2145]

Brian Kane hacked this into the funniest thing I have seen in a while.

[oldling]

I just hit that weird place where I’m being really sarcastic and a little (a lot) weird on resumes. 

Does it smell of desperation...or brilliance?

Time will tell. 

[cacen]

I’ve been on this website for six years. I’ve lived through hellish events such as the Mishapocalypse, Tumblr Prom and that one post which told us to call Karp ‘daddy’. I have survived six years of this god forsaken website and I am furious to announce that I’ve only just realised that notes is short for notifications

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

this is the POPPLIO OF GOOD FORTUNE reblog before November 18th and money will come ur way

[rockandrollchick29]

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

[optimism-or-no]

famine, death war, pestilence

[quigonesjinn]

[bunney]

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

[blonded004]

[kyliesparks27-deactivated201810]

I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots

[imericschneider]

McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.

[stevetomjohn]

My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home

She named her daughter after a road sign

a road sign

[characterlimit]

[proletarianprincess]

there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE

[carpegin]

“47 month old”

[dragongirltitties]

this is my four year old rayman origins

[jennytrout]

“Who’s doing your surgery?”

“Dr. Rayman Origins.”

[rustydanger]

THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!

[amari-skies-deactivated20190610]

i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”

the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”

[mudskipmcqueen]

My auntie knows a family who decided to name their daughter Owen, but they spelled it “Oin” and they made her middle name the first sound that her big sister made which happened to be “Oogok”. her name is literally “Oin Oogok Puscus”

[suicunesrider]

Oin Oogok Puscus is my favorite dwarf from the Hobbit

[allmenarerapists]

Yo I work at a rec center in a rich neighborhood and these are some real names of white children:

Salter Tryge (pronounced Trig) Loots Pocket Aughyst (pronounced August) Taileigh Lotiss Leviathin (yes spelled like that) Bacchus Daniyal (a girl, pronounced like Daniel)

All real

[the-epitome-of-sophistication-d]

This shit is hilarious

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

@kaiiwooo

[kaiiwooo-deactivated20180323]

I can’t

[onlyblackgirl]

47 month old.

[bando--grand-scamyon]

Nayvie….. Bish whet????

[i-sucked-dick-on-accident-deact]

this is from my kid’s valentine’s list this year like this corny fake unique name thing is no joke yall this is all of the boy names 

[xoverlyxclusivex]

47 month old.

[crimeshetyped]

I refuse to go on knowing someone named their child “Salter” I’m so done ✌🏿️

[mesaymeep]

Treyton lls, I’m dying…

[bird-mom]

I know a person from college who’s name is literally “Smile”, l can’t even explain how ridiculous that is…

[desmondsprettyface]

I need Loots and Pocket to team up and steal all these insane parents’ wallets.

[somethoughtsihave]

I know a Tiger and a Rain. They’re both lovely humans, and their names fit them…. But, not typical names I guess.

[oldling]

When my mom taught school in northern California in the early 80s, she had some seriously messed up names for kids in her classes. -Rusty Riggs -Groovy Nipples (she went by Nan, and her brother was Rusty) -Arn Flat -Tage

And many others I can't recall but will update later because I always laugh so hard at Groovy's name

[wheremyscalesslither]

If your attitude is ever “the vet is too expensive and I’m not taking my animal to the vet”

You need to not have pets.

[oldling]

This is also true for children.

[hms-surprise]

Long Journey

Enkel Dika