[omenlink]

a private, low-activity blog for a headcanon-based raven branwen of rwby. triggering content present. exploring themes of fear and how to turn it into power. 18+ only.

affiliated with: noblessing. todusts.

i. this blog is private and low activity. i have other commitments outside of tumblr. i am often low on spoons and have a hard time interaction with people unless we're close out of character. your patience is appreciated, and will absolutely be returned. my discord and twitter are available on request.

ii. i format a little, but nothing too wild. i default to second person pov. i don't use icons. i use the beta editor, so please keep this in mind when writing with me. i don't care how you format, but i do ask that rapidly fluctuating text sizes and "fancy" fonts not be used with me.

iii. i tag triggers with trigger /. triggering content includes murder, child neglect, pregnancy, violence, and more. i myself have no triggers, but would appreciate explicit nsfw images being tagged.

iv. raven is bisexual, but honestly she's not the best person to ship with. i am open to shipping with my close friends, should the topic arise, but for the most part i see this blog being relatively ship free. i do not ship rosebird, and i would prefer not to be asked about it. this blog is not a safe space for pro-shippers or anyone who aligns with them.

v. this blog is heavily headcanon based, given how little we actually know about raven and the branwen tribe in general. all of this blog's canon and lore is developed with noblessing. i will, eventually, write a coherent list of headcanons. in the meantime, if you have questions, please feel free to ask me! just know that this version of raven will likely not resemble common fndm interpretations of her.

vi. i will not follow duplicates on this blog; multi-muses may be a small exception to this. my exclusive qrow is noblessing, and as such, i will not be interacting with others writing him. our portrayals are too tied together for me to consider it.

[noblessing]

‘ yeah, she does. ’ you rub at your face with a hand. ‘ it's... kinda weird, right? ’ you thought you were the only one that could see it, the parts of you she inherited. or maybe, everyone instead chose to focus on the parts of summer. a way for them to remember her — to watch her live on in her daughter. not so different from how you and tai saw raven in yang. you remembered the best of her. and that is what everyone sees in ruby. the best of summer. maybe, if more knew your secret, they would see the best of you, too. like raven does.

you sigh, shifting awkwardly in your seat. nothing was said about your sobriety. it must be obvious. in your face, your composure. you know how different you have been since you put down the bottle. there is more to you, and more to life. raven has seen you at your worst — and, with the gift you have been given, she is seeing you at your best. ‘ i'm a big kid, raven. ’ you motion at her glass with a finger, hands cradling your own. there's laughter to your tone, a trace of a smile as you stare at her. ‘ i can handle seeing you drink. ’

you haven't craved a drop in weeks. other mechanisms have taken its place to sooth your anxiety. fingers fiddle along the edge of the glass, silently tapping or tracing the rim. you shift again, this time avoiding eye contact and instead staring at her glass on the table. ‘ yeah, yeah — we do. ’ you didn't mind her stalling — if only because you know how difficult it has become for the two of you to talk openly. but you want to. you still hate how your last conversation ended. ‘ kinda hard to pick where to start, isn't it? ’

[omenlink]

where to begin? the history between the two of you and every horrible thing that you have done sits heavy on your shoulders. you can't undo the past, but you can make a better future. it should be an easy enough thing to admit, but, truthfully, you don't know if your pride can handle it. you're working on it, though; how to admit your faults and damage your pride without turning tail and running away. maybe you could learn a thing or two from him. you could learn more than a few things from your niece, but it's such a strange concept to think of her as family. not because she's done anything wrong, but because you have. ❝ i know you're a big kid, qrow. but maybe it's time for me to be one, too. ❞ you mean it's time for you to stop running away and finding solace in your vices. you mean it's time for you to be a mother, be a sister, in all the ways that you failed before. ❝ besides, it's hot. water's better. ❞

more stalling. always stalling. a slow sip of water as you begin to think of where to begin. it would be easier if it wasn't qrow, you think. if it were, instead, someone who you could lie to and look in the eye without shying away. but lying to him has never been easy, and when you meet his eyes, you see your own shame reflected back at you. your mirror in every worst way, but also all the ways that matter.

❝ i'm sorry, ❞ you say, and it slips out in a rush. there is remorse in your voice ( or, you think — remorse and raven do not go hand - in - hand ), even despite the urgency. ❝ i'm sorry for leaving you, i guess. i don't think i would've done things differently, but i'm sorry for it anyway. ❞ it's a bad apology. it's a bad way to start things, especially when you're not sorry for what happened after you left. you're not sorry you did what you thought was right. you are sorry for leaving him alone, and you hope that he knows that. ❝ you can hate me for that, if you want. you can call me selfish, too. i would probably agree with you. but i— we can start there, can't we? ❞

[bargalaxies]

you’re right. i don’t know you. i only know the raven dad told me about. she was troubled and complicated, but she fought for what she believed in, whether it was her team or her tribe!

[5.14] haven’s fate

[noblessing]

@omenlink asked: do not go far from me.

‘ it’s not like i ran off. ’ you laugh a little, bumping her arm with your elbow. the schoolyard is quiet, empty, and you’re glad it is. it’s too new to feel comfortable. the swarm of students inside is too much to handle just yet. so you’re awake in the night, sitting in the grass and staring at the moon. alone, until raven found and joined you at your side. ‘ besides, shouldn’t i be the one saying that? ’

‘ you’re the one that can just come and go when you want to. ’ so don’t leave me alone. you don't mean a walk outside. that, alone, you need from time to time. room to breathe. but you're not sure if she sees it that way. you can’t find her the way she finds you. she can stray from your sight and return in an instant, and all you can do is wait for when she does. and that thought is enough to make you anxious, wading into new surroundings under false pretenses. she could, very well, disappear on you. but never you on her. you laugh again and try to shrug off the nerves.

‘ where would i go without you, anyway? ’

[omenlink]

❝ i don't know. but you'd find some way to entertain yourself, i'm sure. ❞ there's a faint buzzing of anxiety just beneath your skin that you try to ignore, even though you're aware that it's only from the newness of your surroundings. you don't bother sparing him a glance yet, instead you opt to keep sharp eyes trained on the school where your classmates rest ( or, in this case, party ). you have never been one for a crowd of that degree, and prying eyes &. questioning mouths quickly wore down what little patience you clung to. so you had excused yourself with a smile that stretched too thin, and soon found yourself back at your brother's side. ❝ besides, it's not like i ever really leave you alone long enough for you to miss me. you'll never have to be without me, qrow. ❞

the grass tickles your palms. your fingers curl and dig into the soft, green earth, and with little care for the landscaping, you rip a handful up just for something to do with your hands. diligent fingers weave knots into the grass, your gaze still trained on the building as if you could see through the walls if your gaze burned bright enough.

❝ some of our new friends seem interesting. ❞ you say after a long moment, and finally you turn gaze upon qrow. the corners of your lips quirk. ❝ that blond, for one. with the ugly pants. ❞ you finish weaving the handful of grass into a crudely crafted bracelet too small for either of you to wear comfortably. you toss it into his lap anyway, and lean in until your shoulders press together. ❝ and the girl with the— what was it? an axe? she seemed... fun. ❞

[omenlink]

@todusts sent, from yang: just because life stopped for you… doesn’t mean it has to stop for me.

❝ i'm curious who you think you're talking to like that, yang. ❞ you have long - since lost the right to claim her as your daughter, but you still see the worst parts of yourself reflected back at you when you look at her. yang's anger is justified, in a way. but she's just a girl who can't understand the way your world revolves; she can't understand why you left, why you'd leave again, if you could. this life of yours, the one of your own making, is all you have now. she can't possibly understand this, either. you take in the defiant set of her brow. the shape of her frown. the way she holds herself equal parts confident and indecisive, not unlike a baby bird set to take its first flight.

these are parts of you. but the fire behind her eyes is something you recognize being distinctly from summer. before, it would have angered you, to think of her making some sort of claim to your daughter. but you're only yang's mother when it's convenient, and the both of you know it.

❝ you're just a child, yang. you can't possibly understand anything that i do. ❞ you refuse to let her words shake you. you refuse to see her as anything other than your child in his moment. ❝ life hasn't stopped for me. look around, if it had stopped, would i have single - handedly brought the tribe to such a thriving community? life moves differently for me, same as it does for you. is that so wrong? is my life being different from yours somehow lesser? ❞

you reach out. clasp a hand on her shoulder, with full expectation for her to slap it away. you wouldn't blame her. you'd be proud, in fact.

❝ you keep that fire though, yang. you keep living this superior life you think you have. when you decide you want to talk to me like the adult you pretend you are, i'll be here. ❞

[omenlink]

❝ she smiles like you used to, at her age. ❞ your attention is half on qrow, half on the girl. you'd been mistaken to say she was just like her mother, and you see it now clear as day. the sharp cut of her jaw, the shape of her eyes, and above all the smile, are all qrow. it's warming, in a way. opposite of the way you felt when you realized how much of yourself you'd seen in your own daughter. ❝ i thought she was all summer. don't get me wrong, i see her in ruby too, but... ❞ summer is not an easy topic, and you know this. she's something of a sore spot for you, too, so you trail off. let the words fade like a forgotten memory.

❝ she laughs like you, too. when you actually used to laugh more. ❞ a smile. a small, fleeting, thing but it's a smile all the same. the glass of water resting on the table, cupped between gloved palms, is more of an anchor than anything. gaze turns to it, on the beads of condensation that roll down the surface. you ache for something stronger, but your love for @noblessing is more important than giving into your vices.

your lips press together in a thin line as you hold a breath for a second. exhale slowly, and then, you lift the glass to sip at the water. tasteless. you want the burn of whiskey, but you know qrow's flask has long since run dry. you're proud. he's always been stronger, hasn't he?

❝ sorry. i'm stalling. ❞ you admit, as you set the glass down. there's so much that needs to be said, but after so long, you don't know how to say any of it. ❝ we need to talk. i know we do. it's just— no. we need to talk. about everything, i suppose. ❞

[omenlink]

HUGINN AND MUNINN FLY EACH DAY OVER THE SPACIOUS EARTH. ©

[omenlink]

we are so fucking back

[noblessing]

‘     do  you  hear  yourself?     ’     your  ears  must  deceive  you.     that  has  to  be  it  —  that  has  to  be  the reason.     otherwise,  you’ve  deceived  yourself.     you’ve  deluded  yourself  into  thinking  raven  was  different.     that  she’s  grown,  just  like  you  have.     everything  in  the  past  few  years  has  been  more  real  for  you  than  home  ever  was.     home  has  never  been  anywhere  else,  but  here.     with  your  family.     a  family  that  raven  is  supposed  to  be  a  part  of.     yet  here  she  is,  begging  you  to  run.     run  back  to  somewhere  you  never  felt  safe.     abandoning  everything  the  two  of  you  found.     ‘     this…   wasn’t  pretend.     you…  had  a  kid,  raven.     you  can’t  fake  that.     ’

you  look  to  her  hand  and  back  to  her  face  with  borderline  disgust.     you  tell  yourself  you  don’t  recognize  her,  despite  knowing  this  is  who  she  is.     you  always  thought  you  would  be  the  exception  to  her  cruelty  —  and  that’s  what  her  request  is.     cruel.     ‘     you  want  me  to  consider  you?     raven,  if  you  considered anyone  but  yourself  for  once,  you’d  consider  me.     you’d  consider  tai,  summer.     yang.     ’     anger  drips  into  your  tone.

head  shakes.     ‘     tell  yourself  it  wasn’t  real,  fine  —  lie  to  yourself  all  you  want. but  don’t  act  like  you’d  be  doing  me  a  favour  by  taking  me  back  there.     ’     you  don’t  want  to  be  that  person  again.     you  don’t  want  to  be  the  well - trained  killer,  the  thief  in  the  night.     hailed  but  hated  by  people  that  had  no  choice  to  accept  that  your  skill  often outweighed  the  trouble  misfortune  wrought  —  until  you  left.     no  warm  welcome  would  be  waiting  for  you.     only  raven.     and  she  knows  that.     she  bore  witness  to  it.     your  heart  breaks  at  the  realization  that  your  pain  means  nothing  to  her.     that  for  her  own  selfish  sake,  she  expects  you  to  leave  what  happiness  you  have  found.

‘     my  sister  would  never  ask  me  that.     ’

[omenlink]

❝ and my brother would never be so weak. ❞ your hand lowers, fingers curling in on themselves. you want to believe that, to believe that qrow has always stood with you even despite his own reservations. but his refusal is proof otherwise. fingers curl properly into a fist as your hand drops back by your side. the disgust marring his face hurts worse than his words ever could. it hurts more than the realization that you've known since you first set foot in beacon that you'd lose him somehow, in some way. you want to cast the blame out. put it on anyone other than yourself.

you know it would just reflect back on yourself. you bite your tongue.

❝ i have considered you, qrow. i always consider you. it's why i put up with this charade for so long, to make you happy. i didn't want it to stretch this far. i didn't want any of it. ❞ you did. you wanted the normalcy and love you received from all of them so badly that it scared you. it scared you each morning you woke up next to taiyang and realized the weight of your own longing hanging over you.

then, the kid made things more complicated. it scared you more than tai did.

you tell qrow none of these things, because none of them matter. you need to leave. with or without your brother, you'll flee. it would be much easier if he'd cooperate, a weight lifted that's been keeping you tethered.

❝ if i leave without you, i won't be coming back for you. ❞

[omenlink]

as established in canon, her semblance only works on those she has formed a meaningful bond with. while i know there is some debate on whether or not she had a portal leading to summer, i go with the idea that she did. so, her portals are for: qrow, tai, yang, summer, and vernal.

her portal to summer leads to her grave. this is proof enough to her that summer is dead. each time she visits, she leaves a memento.

despite their estrangement, qrow is the most important person in the world to raven. he is placed above yang and tai. raven is not a good mother or partner, and she's barely a good sister, but she genuinely loves and cares for qrow in ways she didn't the family she made.

with that being said, she does not prioritize anyone's happiness over her own. she focuses on her personal gain and growth. she's selfish and greedy and cruel. this does not change, even when she experiences moments of "softness."

her killing the previous spring maiden was an act of mercy, and an act of pity. it wasn't about power to her. it was about knowing that she herself could survive it, and would be able to handle whatever came her way after the fact.

[omenlink]

@noblessing sent: that's not my fucking home.

❝ yes it is. ❞ much as you wish the words came out sharper, you find they just sound desperate. tired, too. this argument isn't new, but no less frustrating — especially now, when there should be nothing holding you both here. there should be guilt. regret for the child left sleeping securely next to their father, your spot left glaringly empty. but there is none, or. . . at the very least, you don't allow it to slip into your heart. there is no place for guilt or regret in you.

however, both seem to find a home in your brother.

❝ qrow. we've played pretend with them long enough. this was never your home, never our home. i don't know what game you think you're playing with summer, but it's time to end it. just like— just like i did with taiyang. ❞ it wasn't a game. this truth is one you'll take to your grave. but your time here is done. your time here taught you valuable things for the rest of your life, but it can't hold you any longer. you've never been good at staying, anyway. ❝ whatever you think you have with her, whatever you think is keeping you here. . . it's not real. none of what we did here was real. ❞

❝ so. come home with me. i know how things were when we left, but they'll be different now. i will make certain of that. you claim it isn't your home, but what about me? am i not enough to make it count for something? ❞ you know qrow better than you know yourself. or, you thought you did. once, maybe that was true. but you still know his answer before he gives it. a hand is extended to him all the same. you try a smile. ❝ come on, little brother. you can be angry with me later, but please. let's go home. ❞

[edenmemes]

last of us (show) starters

ep1- 6. to be updated with each episode.

❝ your t-shirt’s inside out. ❞ ❝ you already know i’m bad at lying. ❞ ❝ i need you to take a breath. ❞ ❝ i never liked you, but still, it’s like we’re friends. almost. ❞ ❝ we’re gonna be brave, and we’re gonna get out of this. ❞ ❝ can’t tell you how exciting it was listening to that fucking conversation. ❞ ❝ there you are. i was getting worried. ❞ ❝ a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad. ❞ ❝ how about we just talk this through? ❞ ❝ this isn’t gonna end well. ❞ ❝ we can help each other. and get that gun out of my face. ❞ ❝ i think i’m gonna love you for a long, long time. ❞ ❝ there’s stuff up there you shouldn’t see. ❞ ❝ you ask a lot of goddamn questions. ❞ ❝ you know, i used to be scared of these people. ❞ ❝ i mean…our luck had to run out sooner or later. ❞ ❝ like to think, for once, we could finally win? ❞ ❝ i mean, it’s the long way or the ‘we’re fucking dead’ way. ❞ ❝ you mumble in your sleep. ❞ ❝ no. no questions. just do it. ❞ ❝ nobody’s gonna be coming after you, right? ❞ ❝ you stay close and you follow my lead. ❞ ❝ it’s a miracle you’re alive. ❞ ❝ it doesn’t matter. you have to trust me. ❞ ❝ you know, people like to tell stories. ❞ ❝ you have a greater purpose than any of us could’ve ever imagined. ❞ ❝ how about we start with ‘thank you’? ❞ ❝ i’d like to go home and drink ‘til my face stops hurting. ❞ ❝ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❞ ❝ you can’t be stupid like this. ❞ ❝ if we come up against anything, you get behind me and you stay there, okay? ❞ ❝ i’m trying to keep you alive. ❞ ❝ did it make you feel better? did it make you feel safe? ❞ ❝ that’s not my fucking home. ❞ ❝ i don’t want your sorries. ❞ ❝ don’t blame me for something that isn’t my fault. ❞ ❝ oh, finally, some fucking luck. ❞ ❝ no more questions about me. ❞ ❝ you want your jacket back? ❞ ❝ fuck you, man. i didn’t ask for this. ❞ ❝ besides, it’s the thought that counts. ❞ ❝ wasn’t my fault this time. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry, but this has gone on too long. ❞ ❝ i’ve had…more good days with you than with anyone else. ❞ ❝ i need you to take a breath. ❞ ❝ can we start a fire? i’m freezing. ❞ ❝ the darkness is falling, the sky has turned gray. ❞ ❝ matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves. ❞ ❝ you stay here. you hear anything, yell. ❞ ❝ what do you want me to say? ❞ ❝ are you okay? you’re not hurt? nothing? ❞ ❝ there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? ❞ ❝ you do what i say when i say it. we clear? ❞ ❝ where would you be without me, huh? ❞ ❝ i’ve been on both sides. ❞ ❝ let’s just handle what we have to handle. ❞ ❝ is it everything you hoped for? ❞ ❝ it doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope, it will always be stationary. ❞ ❝ you hungry? you can share some of mine. ❞ ❝ have i committed a crime? ❞ ❝ those things i did…those things that you judge me for, i did those things to keep us alive. ❞ ❝ i swear, i’ve told you everything i know. ❞ ❝ i don’t wanna talk about it. ❞ ❝ just because life stopped for you…doesn’t mean it has to stop for me. ❞ ❝ i’m alone and forsaken by fate and by man. ❞ ❝ here. this make you all nostalgic? ❞ ❝ thanks for still giving a shit about me. ❞ ❝ i am the bad guy because i did a bad guy thing. ❞ ❝ you keep your eyes on me. and don’t look anywhere else. ❞ ❝ i know this hurts. you’re gonna be okay. ❞ ❝ you think i’ve never done shit like that? ❞ ❝ maybe we just call this one a success and say our fond farewells. ❞ ❝ it isn’t fair, your age…having to deal with all of this. ❞ ❝ i was never afraid before you showed up. ❞ ❝ do i not look scared? ❞ ❝ just a reminder that if you’re dead, i’m fucked. ❞ ❝ what else am i supposed to say? ❞ ❝ we did what we needed to survive. ❞ ❝ is that what i am? am i one of the ‘wrong people’? ❞ ❝ i shouldn’t have said what i said. i don’t know your situation. ❞ ❝ i don’t wanna hurt you. i wanna help you. ❞ ❝ when do we tell the others? ❞ ❝ well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate. ❞ ❝ i saw what you did…the way you killed those men. ❞ ❝ but first, you have to do something for me. ❞ ❝ be careful who you put your faith in. the only people who can betray us…are the ones we trust.  ❞ ❝ you see my face? do i look scared? ❞ ❝ stay awake with me. ❞ ❝ it’s dangerous, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. ❞ ❝ there’s a whole lot you’re not telling me. ❞ ❝ how about you shut the fuck up? ❞ ❝ i would very much like for you to hurt them. ❞ ❝ what i’m about to tell you cannot be repeated to anyone. ❞ ❝ they’re gonna catch us if we don’t run. ❞ ❝ everybody i have cared for has either died or left me. everybody, fսcking except for you. ❞ ❝ lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere. ❞ ❝ i’m not looking for any trouble. ❞ ❝ i think maybe we got a little off on the wrong foot. ❞ ❝ i came here to save you. ❞ ❝ they’re not following us. i think we’re safe. ❞ ❝ you think i can still handle things, but…i’m not who i was. ❞ ❝ oh, maybe i shouldn’t have said anything. ❞ ❝ seriously, though, how the fuck do you do that? ❞ ❝ well, i…i don’t know how to swim. ❞ ❝ holy shit, are you dying? ❞ ❝ i wasn’t gonna say i’m sorry. i was gonna say that i’ve been thinking about what happened. ❞ ❝ how about you just take the good news? ❞ ❝ god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. ❞ ❝ you stay down, you stay low, you stay quiet. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t have had to. i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ did you kill innocent people? ❞ ❝ don’t tell me that i’d be safer with somebody else because the truth is i would just be more scared. ❞ ❝ you have no idea what loss is. ❞ ❝ when we were talking about hurting people…what did you mean it wasn’t your first time? ❞ ❝ i can’t fucking do this without you. ❞ ❝ looks different in the daylight, huh? ❞

[numachibird]