better than a sandwich

allie // 23 // she/her // in love w/pb&j but mostly bittyparse // find me @alpha-exodus for drarry trash

[prokopetz]

What “Fratricide" Actually Means: murder of one’s sibling

What “Fratricide” Sounds Like It Should Mean: “Oh my god, they killed Chad!”

[flannelizard]

1) BittyParse 2) High School 3) go for it :D

It’s the homecoming game and Kent should be paying attention, but that new male cheerleader just turned to Kent and winked after a tumbling run, and now his knees feel weak. 

“His name’s Eric,” Jeff says into his ear with a chuckle. “He was asking about you earlier, actually.”

[polya-epifest]

Authorship Masterpost

Authorship reveals are here! Authors can now feel free to make their own posts discussing/advertising their works and adjust their authors’ notes on AO3. Please remember to leave kudos/comments for the authors, and thanks to all of you for making this such a wonderful second round for our fest! <3 We’ll see you next year!

Tale As Old As Time - by @rushingsnowy (bookwyrmling) - 41k - T -  In the Pyrenees wine region of France, just a bit southeast of Lourdes, there is a vineyard with a history dating back centuries. Now, this is not the only vineyard in the world with such a long history, nor is it even the oldest vineyard in France, but it is the only one at which you will hear this tale. It starts off, as many tales this old do, with a ‘Once Upon a Time’ and ends, as one would hope, with love.

It is a truth universally acknowledged (that an NHL Bachelor in possession of a good fortune….) - by @omgpieplease (Omgpieplease) - ART - G - Two versions of Pride and Prejudice AUs. One in some semblance of the correct period. One a modern interpretation. Both based off the magnificent 2005 film directed by Joe Wright.

The Cards We’ve Been Dealt - by @tragedyistheirs (Tragedyistheirs) - 6k - E - Kent Parson and Jack Zimmermann are long-term CIA partners. They meet Eric “Bitty” Bittle separately, and both want to date him. When they find out they’re both crushing on the same guy, they start a friendly competition to make Bitty fall in love with them. Four months later, things get a little out of hand. This Means War AU.

That Dweam Wiffin a Dweam - by @omgcpmanagers (McBangle) - 9.5k - T -  Once upon a time, in the far-off kingdom of Florin, fair Bitty fell in love with his farm boy, Kent. But when Kent seemingly perished at sea, his ship overtaken by the Dread Pirate Parson, and the not-at-all evil Prince Jack found himself in want of a spouse, could Bitty, Jack, and a not-so-dead Kent redefine the rules of True Wuv?

A Dad Dating Adventure - by @believesinponds (believesinponds) - 20.5k - T - When you and your daughter move to an old hockey buddy’s cul-de-sac, you aren’t expecting to meet (and fall for) two Stanley Cup winners. Will the three of you live happily ever after or will everything fall to pieces? It all depends on what you choose! [A choose-your-own adventure story inspired by Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator.]

Page Turner - by @that-thing-you-roo (Decibelle) - 36k - T - Eric Bittle lives a small, charming life. He owns a sweet bookstore, he has good friends, a steady boyfriend and a nice home in New York. From the outside that should be enough, so he doesn’t tell anyone about his secret online romance with one NY504, a stranger who makes him feel worthy and at home. It’s all innocent, right? | Kent Parson is larger than life. Back in New York after successfully setting up his family’s book chain out West, he’s ready to make a claim on the city, regardless of who he might run out of business. He loves his family, his boyfriend, and his best friend, and yet somehow feels no guilt over his long-running flirtation with his anonymous ShopBoy. They both have a lot to learn.

Second’s Not the Same - by @omgpbandj (alpha_exodus) and @yoursummerfrost (SummerFrost) - 14.5k - E -  Bitty finds himself dating two amazing boys. Everything is perfect. // Kent was doing just fine before he saw his ex-boyfriend in a hotel bar.

You Could Miss It - by @agrossunderstatement (Pinkerton) - 9k - E - “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.“ — Ferris Bueller | A Ferris Bueller’s Day Off AU where Kent takes his boyfriend, Eric Bittle, and his best friend, Jack Zimmermann, out for a day of fun in New York City.

sundown starts at half-past six - by @thehalfdesertedstreets​ (halfdesertedstreets) - 62k - E - “My true love will have hair the color of yellow apples,” and Jack Zimmermann will take a bite from the forbidden fruit, juice running down his chin. “My true love will be exactly five feet and six-and-a-half inches tall,” and he will chew a leaf from a tree of that same height. “My true love will be as sweet as sugar and sharp as lemon,” and he will drink half a glass of Great-Aunt Cathy’s lemonade, waiting until the last dregs of sugar hit his tongue. “And if a single one of these things is not to be, then let it be known—my true love shall not be he.” (He knows in his bones that this spell won’t ever come true. After all, his true love isn’t real, and if he’s not real, then the curse can’t take him. That’s the whole point.) | Or, a Practical Magic AU. Wherein Jack Zimmermann must deal with family curses, hockey legacies, accidental manslaughter, Kent Parson’s obstinate death wish, and a snarky Southern kitchen warlock who won’t mind his own damn business.

[alpha-exodus]

Year End Writing Wrap-Up

As 2018 will be my third year using @tryslora​‘s wonderful word count tracker spreadsheet (here!), I thought I’d post some of my stats, since I think they’re a lot of fun and a cool way to keep track of writing progress!

This first screenshot is just a general work-up of monthly word counts. I actually wasn’t thinking about my yearly goal for the past few months, and if I’d realized I was so close to hitting it, I probably would’ve stretched myself to write that last 8k or so haha!

It’s worth noting that my goal for each month is 10k (which adds up to 120k over the year) - and although that seems like a huge number even to me, it actually feels fairly doable in practice, since it works out to being about 350 words a day. Of course, not everyone has the same levels of productivity, and that’s definitely okay! I also had a ton of zero word days (and an entire zero word month in April!), but I try really hard not to stress myself out with that knowledge. I write purely for fun, and even though I track it (since I really love being able to visually see my progress!!), I still most definitely want it to continue staying a hobby instead of a job.

The output below is a graph of my word counts each month in 2017 compared to 2016. It’s super neat to realize I have some general trends, and it’ll be pretty interesting to see if I can subvert them in 2018!

Overall, even though my productivity was a lot lower than it was last year, I’m still very happy with the amount I managed to get done. It really works for me personally to set small daily goals for myself, and it feels very fulfilling to hit larger goals as well (such as hitting 10k in a month), so if you feel like this would be a helpful tool to use, I highly recommend it. <3

[polya-epifest]

Anonymous Masterpost

Thanks to everyone for joining this year’s PB&J EpiFest! Posting is over now, but authors/artists will be revealed January 7th, and until then, please enjoy all our lovely works and continue leaving love for our creators!! <3

Tale As Old As Time - 41k - T -  In the Pyrenees wine region of France, just a bit southeast of Lourdes, there is a vineyard with a history dating back centuries. Now, this is not the only vineyard in the world with such a long history, nor is it even the oldest vineyard in France, but it is the only one at which you will hear this tale. It starts off, as many tales this old do, with a ‘Once Upon a Time’ and ends, as one would hope, with love.

It is a truth universally acknowledged (that an NHL Bachelor in possession of a good fortune….) - ART - G - Two versions of Pride and Prejudice AUs. One in some semblance of the correct period. One a modern interpretation. Both based off the magnificent 2005 film directed by Joe Wright.

The Cards We’ve Been Dealt - 6k - E - Kent Parson and Jack Zimmermann are long-term CIA partners. They meet Eric “Bitty” Bittle separately, and both want to date him. When they find out they’re both crushing on the same guy, they start a friendly competition to make Bitty fall in love with them. Four months later, things get a little out of hand. This Means War AU.

That Dweam Wiffin a Dweam - 9.5k - T -  Once upon a time, in the far-off kingdom of Florin, fair Bitty fell in love with his farm boy, Kent. But when Kent seemingly perished at sea, his ship overtaken by the Dread Pirate Parson, and the not-at-all evil Prince Jack found himself in want of a spouse, could Bitty, Jack, and a not-so-dead Kent redefine the rules of True Wuv?

A Dad Dating Adventure - 20.5k - T - When you and your daughter move to an old hockey buddy’s cul-de-sac, you aren’t expecting to meet (and fall for) two Stanley Cup winners. Will the three of you live happily ever after or will everything fall to pieces? It all depends on what you choose! [A choose-your-own adventure story inspired by Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator.]

Page Turner - 36k - T - Eric Bittle lives a small, charming life. He owns a sweet bookstore, he has good friends, a steady boyfriend and a nice home in New York. From the outside that should be enough, so he doesn’t tell anyone about his secret online romance with one NY504, a stranger who makes him feel worthy and at home. It’s all innocent, right? | Kent Parson is larger than life. Back in New York after successfully setting up his family’s book chain out West, he’s ready to make a claim on the city, regardless of who he might run out of business. He loves his family, his boyfriend, and his best friend, and yet somehow feels no guilt over his long-running flirtation with his anonymous ShopBoy. They both have a lot to learn.

Second’s Not the Same - 14.5k - E -  Bitty finds himself dating two amazing boys. Everything is perfect. // Kent was doing just fine before he saw his ex-boyfriend in a hotel bar.

You Could Miss It - 9k - E - “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.“ — Ferris Bueller | A Ferris Bueller’s Day Off AU where Kent takes his boyfriend, Eric Bittle, and his best friend, Jack Zimmermann, out for a day of fun in New York City.

sundown starts at half-past six - 62k - E - “My true love will have hair the color of yellow apples,” and Jack Zimmermann will take a bite from the forbidden fruit, juice running down his chin. “My true love will be exactly five feet and six-and-a-half inches tall,” and he will chew a leaf from a tree of that same height. “My true love will be as sweet as sugar and sharp as lemon,” and he will drink half a glass of Great-Aunt Cathy’s lemonade, waiting until the last dregs of sugar hit his tongue. “And if a single one of these things is not to be, then let it be known—my true love shall not be he.” (He knows in his bones that this spell won’t ever come true. After all, his true love isn’t real, and if he’s not real, then the curse can’t take him. That’s the whole point.) | Or, a Practical Magic AU. Wherein Jack Zimmermann must deal with family curses, hockey legacies, accidental manslaughter, Kent Parson’s obstinate death wish, and a snarky Southern kitchen warlock who won’t mind his own damn business.

[wheeloffortune-design]

Come on. Close that cell phone. Go to sleep. You have practice in the morning, and then class, and homework, and you need to bake and hang out with your friends and write your boyfriend and call your mom and clean and do laundry and - and- and. Come on. Sleep. There’s not even anything interesting on the net. You’re doing nothing. Sleep.

[yoursummerfrost]

what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

I promised this fic to @omgpbandj like a year ago. It’s unrepentant hate sex. You’re all very welcome!

Rating: Explicit Word Count: ~1.5k Pairing(s): Bitty/Parse Summary: Bitty wants to kill Parse. He just also wants to fuck him first.

Read here on AO3!

[zombizombi]

@zimmboniandbitty prompted bittyparse with babies

“I am,” Bitty said, flat on his back in bed, “so tired. I may actually die.” He hadn’t slept more than two hours straight in… he wasn’t even sure how long. Colic was the absolute worst thing in existence.

“You’re not gonna die,” Kent said. He’d been pacing with the baby on his hip for half an hour at least, and she’d finally fallen asleep. He didn’t dare stop moving, even though Bitty could tell by the drag in his voice and shuffle in his step that he was just as exhausted as Bitty was. “We can do this. It won’t last forever. It –” he stopped talking when the baby moved.

Bitty held his breath, only letting it out once it was clear that she wasn’t actually waking up. “Honey. We’ve gotta, like. I don’t know. I mean, we have to sleep some time, and –”

“Go to sleep,” Kent said. He shifted the baby just a little. “We’ll go downstairs. You sleep.”

“But –”

“We can take shifts,” Kent said. “I’ll wake you when I can’t stand it any more.” His grin was lopsided and tired.

God, he wanted to protest, but Bitty was just so. Exhausted. “Fine,” he said, defeated. “I’ll set an alarm for a couple hours.”

Kent bent to kiss him. “We’ll be in the living room. Love you.”

“I love you, too,” Bitty said, eyes already closed.

[jlzimmermann]

MY BRAND IS DUMB BOYS IN LOVE DOING WEIRD SHIT TO THEIR HAIR IN THE NAME OF THE MEMORIAL CUP

[omgcpheartbreakfest]

Anonymous Masterpost

Hi everyone! The OMGCP HeartbreakFest 2017 run is officially over! Authors/artists will be revealed on 9/20, and please feel free to keep reading/viewing works and leaving kudos and comments <3 We had an amazing turnout this year, with 35 works, 4 of which were art and 31 of which were fics.

Without further ado, here is the anonymous masterpost! I’ve omitted summaries/warnings just so this post doesn’t get too long, but as always, be sure to be mindful of the content you’re picking up :)

anything for one more hour of light - zimbits - 3.5k - T Strange Beings - jenny/mandy - 4k - T Fake Plastic Me - johnson/oc - 8.5k/ART - T Oh, Way Down We Go - pimms - 9.5k - T Man Enough - shitty & jack - 3k - T All But the West Wind - dexnursey - 3.5k - T The Way The World Ends - zimbits - 1.5k - T the things you said - zimbits - 15k - E Closing the Distance - parse/bitty/jack - 4k - M all a matter of perception - zimbits, tater/snowy - 2k - T Lonesome Road - zimbits - 17k - M stone fruits in season - zimbits - 6k - T Goodnight Goodbye - kent - ART - M The Writing’s On The Wall - zimbits - 10k - T talk it out and try again - zimbits - 1.5k - T Love Songs // Drug Songs - pimms - 2k - M An Understanding - patater - 3k - T Come Back To Me - charmer - 11k - T Cupid’s Rainbow - bitty/ransom - 11k - T all time low - holsom - 4.5k - E I Love You to Vegas and Back - patater - 3.5k - G don’t you look charming (here in the eye of a hurricane) - zimbits - 8.5k - T Unfinished Selves - pimms - 8.5k - T Jealous, Poindexter? - dexnursey - ART - T The Choices We Can’t Make (And Those We Can) - tater/snowy - 6k - T reaching out for the northern lights - patater - 24k - M You’ve Become My Ceiling - pimms, shitty/kent - 9k - E Well… shit - bittyparse - 9.5k - T I Saw A Life - zimbits, jack/camilla - 18k - T The Second Time Around - zimbits - ART - T placebo feelings - bittyparse - 26k - E The Things We Lost - zimbits - 6k - M the best laid plans - kent/swoops - 8.5k - T Dear Jack - zimbits - 19k - M

[fencecommanoah]

was scrolling through ao3tagoftheday and got ~inspired~ so have some omgcp w tags

[kaewas-deactivated20220116]

“ that’s kent parson “

from @ngoziu‘s comic omgcp!

[peanutdoodler]

For @farmemo! I hope u like it and thank u! UvU if u want a check please request pls ask!

[justonebigbee]

🗣️📣 LET BITTY SAY FUCK!

[omgpbandj]

2, 3, 5!

3 & 5 have already been answered <3 here’s 2, and ty for the ask!

2: summarize your current project. Uhh.... a shitshow? is that a valid answer? or, better, a Sexy Shitshow.

Writing Ask Meme!

[omgpbandj]

3 & 5 for the writing ask meme!!

Thanks for asking <3 #3 has already been answered, so here’s 5!

5: post a line from your current project without any context. “It’s for your own good,” he says, and thenbefore Kent can object he leans over and swipes the last breadstick.

Writing Ask Meme!

[omgpbandj]

Hi! Hope you're having a great. For the writer's ask meme 3 & 7

Hiya!! thanks for asking :)

3: Summarize your current project poorly. "Poorly” lol, let’s see. From the POV of Kit Purrson: “ugh, my human doesn’t come to visit me enough. and now this OTHER human is touching my food all the time, and there are weird sounds coming through the wall at night…. i’m going to go hide in my corner now, thank you very much. Humph.”

(sorry that’s vague i’m still debating on whether or not to use this as an entry for something <3)

7: Would you want to live in the world of your current work? Well, my current work is in basically the same world as the regular one (with the caveat of better LGBTQ acceptance in sports) so sure!!

Writing Ask Meme!