Five. Wisdom. Teeth.

Full time idiot. 28

[swarnpert]

can you take my white ass to funkytown

[jame7t]

nope. torture city again

[swarnpert]

come on

[onetoomanyteefs]

Speak for yourself

Off to torture city we goooooi

[coyging]

[cloudabserk]

everyone has to be nice to him

[zoesupreme]

I have started following the journey of a German soccer fan in the US for the world cup

[zoesupreme]

[zoesupreme]

[zoesupreme]

[zoesupreme]

@laeffy the euros have found buc-ee's

[zoesupreme]

[swarnpert]

can you take my white ass to funkytown

[jame7t]

nope. torture city again

[swarnpert]

come on

[military-newsboys]

Ilya: My fetish is saying some incredibly stupid shit and watching Shane speedrun the five stages of grief as he realizes with horror that he still wants me to fuck him.

[movementnudge]

Movement nudge, back pain, tight hips

X

[mckitterick]

hey writers, desk workers, and others who sit too much:

if you want to retain mobility and don't want a permanently stiff back, this is important!

[itsyveinthesky]

[seabassapologist]

[penismage]

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

[hatosypex]

back appreciation post - Shawn Hatosy

[lostlamblizzie]

her facial expressions are so good I love her so bad she's so CUUUTEEE every time she's on screen hearts pop out of my eyes

[catlips001]

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

[battebitch-deactivated20200410]

what was yesterday, cat?

[catlips001]

[catlips001]

I’m not missing it this year.

[dnferrari]

CANADA GP 2026 | Podium

[suslankedi-deactivated20200508]

[jillkatze]

make your own moon child sound board

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[jackkdaniels]

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

[merpinglilac]

[mortalfaerie]

trinity santos: gives a homeless guy she's known for 15 hours a place to stay and then covers his share of the rent for 10 months while he finishes school, consistently worries he'll be taken advantage of because he's a nice guy never mind the fact she's literally letting him live with her rent free, identifies and scares the shit out of a child molester where the system is otherwise failing, talks a stranger who attempted to end his life into seeking help, doggedly pursues a potential child abuse case and when she's wrong accepts it without pushback and turns her attention to treatment and being a good doctor, turns away from her charting that's stressing her out to go comfort a friend who lost a patient, invites mel out to do a stress relieving activity after what she sees is an incredibly taxing day, etc etc etc

some random tiktok commenter always: oh my god i can't stand santos she's so mean to everyone