noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
d e v o n
Kiana Khansmith
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
Mike Driver
No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER
oozey mess
No title available
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
NASA
blake kathryn
styofa doing anything
No title available
Claire Keane
@theartofmadeline
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@only1benkenobiarchive
This tumblr has been gaining a scary amount of robot followers? And anything I post is acting SUPER WEIRD (okay it's probably because I'm flagged as explicit or something, but this blog was pre-policy change, and I don't know how to fix it).
In any case -- if you want to find me I'm here: @only1benkenobi
If I missed re-following you it's because I fail, not because I don't want to follow you.
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”
I work in a clothing store, but when I’m shopping in other stores in the mall there have been multiple times where i’ve gone up to other customers holding clothes and asked “do you need a fitting room?” before having to awkwardly just nod and walk away. One person actually said yes and handed over their hangers before i had to be like “oh i dont…. i dont actually work here. I’m so sorry.” and just dumped the stuff back in their arms and booked it
That last one is really hard to follow actually
But I worked in a call center and when I’m ready for a credit card number I usually say either “Go ahead” or “fire away” and once I mixed them up and said “Go away!” very cheerfully
Once my friends weren’t listening to me, so my dumbass yelled “1, 2, 3! Eyes on me!” expecting “1, 2! Eyes on you.” in response before I realized they were not, in fact, toddlers.
I have literally lost count of the times I’ve finished a transaction as a customer then asked if the cashier has a (company) rewards card. Fortunately they usually understand and have done the exact same things themselves.
You’ve heard of people taught to be super polite replying “thanks, you too” to “have a nice flight” or “enjoy the movie” Now get ready for…
“Happy birthday!” “Thanks, you too!” “…”
“…”
Happy last day of mermay!!! Have an Obi Koi Kenobi!!
Mandalorian armor and names of individual parts in Mando’a according to Death Watch Manifesto [from Bounty Hunter Code]
I love this image, I use it all the time, but it is missing some terms that are only in the text of the book. I’ve gone and typed up all the relevant armour articles from the book here on google docs, but I’mma go ahead and add the text with the specific armour piece names under a cut. (It also has the English words for them, which I’ve found especially useful.) Hopefully this proves useful to people!
Keep reading
Messere Naberrie - as inspired by the fantastic work All We Ever Have is Hunger (All We Never Get is Power) by crispyjenkins (@crispyjenkins).
he’s beauty, he’s… grace???
Star Wars interview
@kenobi-source event 02: favorite quote(s)
Sunburst
Weee this ship pretty much gripped me instantly I had to draw something T v T I also just have to draw itsy bitsy little freckles on them both too many fics mentioning said freckles for me not to include them T o T
Mace Windu Appreciation Week - Day 1 (Acting)
Former theater nerd regales troops with dramatic readings and poignant voice acting. Commander Ponds occasionally roped in as supporting actor.
My contribution for Mace Windu Appreciation Week! Because gentle-force-lift-Jedi definitely needs some more appreciation! I thought it would be a fun idea for Mace to share his passion for theater with his troops during the rare down-times they get. It’s one of the few times they see their general light up with open joy and everyone has a good time. Mace usually reads the classics but he is also surprisingly open to reading the latest, hottest, fanfic written on trooper intranet.
@mace-windu-appreciationweek
Happy 25th Anniversary Trainspotting ! (February 23, 1996)
dir. Danny Boyle.
Stargate: Atlantis | 2x02 The Intruder
School with adhd is just "I've done the entire page while you were still discussing exercise 1, and now I'm bored" or "I understand half of these words individually, can't focus and now I'm bored" there is no in between
People with ADHD need to stop being so relatable, or I need to find a Dr.
For Safekeeping
Well, I got a bit of the enabling I needed and have posted one of my event fics early.
“For Safekeeping” is over on ao3. It’s a Dark Side a/b/o AU, where basically the Empire has been in power a long time by the PT timeframe. The Jedi are all Sith and the Emperor is in power. There’s a Rebellion and, wouldn’t you know it, a cloned army to fight those rebels.
It’s… spicy with plot as Obi-Wan navigates leading an army and ends up going into heat for the first time. Codywan and additional troopers taking part.
Warnings (SO MANY WARNINGS, please read them) include: Dubious consent (a/b/o and Sith related), dubious morality, mentions of past death and torture, implications of past abuse.
