Ok. Proud Dungeon Auntie time.
I've got these two groups of tween D&D players, right? We're up to 10 total, but the core group 4 years ago was 5 kids (oldest was like 10) playing via voice chat on Discord and sending emojis to each other in the text chat *the entire time.*
I didn't actually mean to facilitate their connection through the pandemic. I was just responding to the campaign of begging and pleading that one of the kids embarked on when we started playing D&D on Discord with her parents.
Four years later (nearly), those kids are *tight.* They have each other's backs. They split into two groups last year and added some new kids, and while there's been some growing pains with that, the core kids are learning how to teach, how to inspire, and how to encourage.
That's not because I'm telling them what to do. It's not because I'm some master educator/DM. (Though I'd like to think I've grown in the past few years.) It's because we have learned together how to approach the table collaboratively.
I say this frequently to the tweens' parents, but this is the kids' game. It's not mine. I homebrew the world, but these two groups are the games that are the least mine of all the games I play. I let go of all expectations the moment those kids sit down.
That's been hard-fought for me, but it's the right call. I model respect, kindness, and other values. I don't stop the kids from experimenting with things they think are edgy, for the most part. (I do X-card romance/flirting with NPCs, and I intervene if the kids need help with interpersonal conflict above the table.)
I know I'm not the only adult in their life. I am grateful for the parents, teachers, and other adults modeling good habits for these 10 kids. But I have worked hard to be an adult they feel comfortable around, an adult they can trust.
And you know what's happened over these past 4 years? These kids have grown into kinder, more thoughtful humans. They've found new solutions to the problems their PCs face. They've learned to predict plot and read the subtle tells I give with my body language and turns of phrase. They've learned to trust me, but more importantly, they've learned to trust each other.
I could not be more proud of these kids.
Back in the early days, I privately called them Maximum Volume because of their incredible capability to leave my ears ringing long after they'd left the voice chat.
They haven't gotten any quieter, but they've gotten kinder and stronger and more creative. And as far as I'm concerned, that speaks to the power of collaborative creativity in an environment where they feel safe and empowered. TTRPGs are truly powerful tools for our social-emotional growth.
