I Am Myself.

Im Ellie, I stopped going to the mormon church in 2015 but just got around to submitting my resignation in 2021:) sideblog of ex mormonism, my main is rottingmushroom, I interact from that

[jurakan]

[utopians]

mormons undoubtedly in the top 5 worst things the united states has ever invented which is really saying something

[utopians]

sorry that sometimes when I stay up too late I start posting abt how much I hate mormonism but the spirit just moves me to do it

[utopians]

like the mormon church is just such a perfect microcosm of everything wrong with christianity as it's practiced among the american right wing. everything abt it is so disgusting. one of the most utterly repulsive spectacles of racism, misogyny, and bigotry to ever leave a stain on the earth

[agni-bi]

Bringing this back because there’s been a bit of a push from Mormon influencers to normalize Mormonism, and as an exmormon I’m here to say fuck that

Do not allow the LDS Church to rebrand itself as some kind of harmless quirky church that just has a few silly rules. It’s a fucking cult that brainwashes its members and actively harms marginalized people. Mormonism deserves every ounce of hate it receives and then some

[oxytocinatrocities]

"The House," a parable I drew about leaving the Mormon church that I originally made for exmo Reddit. As people on the internet have pointed out, you can also see it as representative of plenty of other institutions people have contact with (various high control religions, yoga cults, the united states government, etc) so take your pick

[crazyexmormon]

i actually think ppl dealing with religious trauma by having an edgy atheist phase is fine. I actually think maybe the kid who makes sorta cringey jokes at the expense of a cult they're trapped in should be allowed to do that. Yes I roll my eyes when I see people calling it "the book of moron" but I also remember being fourteen and seeing someone do that and how incredibly powerful it felt so I think maybe it being a bit cringe in retrospect is fine.

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

daddy isn't very happy about your false interpretation of anti imperialist political theory, kitten.

[godisloveislove]

Matthew 21:12

[luxmundi-i]

If you're darker than a certain shade you can't have justified rage because you were hurt, all your rage is 'savage' and 'primal'. You're only allowed to cry and die, never strike back

[winged-thinged]

Christian moral teaching feels very immature to me, and maybe that's because it's something I believed when I was younger and have since grown out of, but I think it's also a product of the apocalyptic view of it all. Your moral reasoning is just going to be very limited if you perpetually think the world is about to end. Why bother saving the environment? Why plan for the future? Get martyred. Sell all your possessions and live with the poor. Some things sound good on the surface, but then you have to live with the choices you made, and the world isn't ending, and suddenly you actually have to deal with all the nuances of a conversation that can't be summed up in a pithy scripture quotation.

[winged-thinged]

It just lends itself very nicely to simplistic, black-and-white views, and doesn't handle practical strategizing very well. And while there is a time and a place for decisive action, you need to be able to live in the world, too.

[pherntinantos-deactivated202207]

[fairyofthemoon]

[hyenaswine]

i was gonna put this in the tags but it reminds me of when i was on a museum tour & everyone was introducing themselves & this one guy was like "we're here on a mission trip to spread the good news to the people of california" & i blurted out "they've heard"

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you have time to shut up about our Lord and savior jesus Christ

[whitealbum]

biblical angels but their true form looks like the patterns in 90s arcade carpets

[whitealbum]

[niconiconwo]

That’s just microbiology innit?

[momir-viig]

Obsessed with this answer.

[atjsgf]

nevermos are like "why do so many mormons end up writing scifi and fantasy, it's such a weird correlation" meanwhile mormons grow up learning this:

[the-inspired-lesbian]

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

isn’t there a part of the bible where god gets mad at a fig tree for not having any figs on it and curses the fig tree?

[trainspotteranonymous-deactivat]

yeah there legit is that’s 100% true

[vibinwitch]

Yes.

[sassy-satan666]

[humanbean1111-deactivated201809]

Oh my god

[strangeparkings]

last time we reblogged this we got anon hate from the christian community. You guys really are passionate about your figs.

[mysticismmess]

I just love that they included this story like do you think Jesus and the Lads just retold that story every time they had a drink like “NEVER HAVE I EVER CURSED A FIG TREE” and Jesus is like “you GUYS”

[winged-thinged]

Look, we joke a lot, but really, "you were born evil, wretched, worse than the scum of the earth, and it took killing a god to make you salvageable, so now you'd better be grateful to that god and thank him 10,000 times a day for it and fill your thoughts with him 24/7 and abide by the letter of his every word, lest you suffer unimaginable torture for all of eternity" is a truly horrendous thing to believe about yourself and other people

[gibbearish]

kids who werent raised christian being like "lol baptising children is whack if they tried to do that to me i would start doing things to make it look like i was possessed" no you would not. you would bask in the pride and approval coming from the adults around you and you would quietly wait your turn because you were told from birth that sinning sends you to hell and baptism is The Promise that youre dedicating your life to jesus that youve had hyped up for years and watched other people be fawned over as they cry happy tears about it and you do NOT want to fuck up your One Big True Promise To Love Jesus Forever So You Don't Get Tortured For Eternity when you are literally 8 years old. im begging yall to remember its a thousand times easier to see the church's bullshit for what it is when you're not actively in the church. eight year old you is not thinking about trying to fight back against an oppressive religious group indoctrinating children because You Are The Children Being Indoctrinated. stop acting like you would've magically known better if it were you.

[heyftinally]

Here's the thing: even as a child who DID see through the bullshit very young, I still had to play the game. That's part of what was traumatizing. I had to play a constant game of make believe to placate the adults around me. I was a child responsible for the emotions of adults, because if I didn't play pretend well enough, they all got mad. Because I knew it was pretend, but they refused to believe it was anything other than stone cold fact, and denying that fact made you a horrible, stupid, evil person. It was the greatest show of immorality (which yes, I also thought was bullshit, but I was nine and being shamed for who I was).

When you're wholly reliant on someone to meet your basic needs, you're forced to play their twisted game or put yourself at risk. If I made us miss church, most of the day I felt like I was a terrible child because it would be made clear that my mom was mad at me for making us miss church - a place I hated being with every fiber of my being. So I had to decide: was it better to feel unsafe for 2-3hrs in church, or feel unsafe for 2-3hrs at home because mom was mad that we missed church and didn't want to listen to me talk about anything?

It was a no-win situation that I, a nine year old, had to navigate, because the adults in my life cared more about their make believe story than my safety and well being.

So no, even as a kid who knows it's all a pile of shit, you don't kick up and point out the bullshit - because it's not safe. Maybe you won't get beat, maybe you'll still have dinner that night (or maybe not - some parents ARE that abusive), but you'll still face the emotional abuse of being shamed and disliked simply for not playing make-believe with the adults. They'll make you feel like you're a fundamentally bad person for not wholly and completely committing to their made up story the same way they did.

And that is a scary, painful thing to realize when you're nine.

[g-o-d-l-e-s-s-h-e-a-t-h-e-n]

Tbh, thats a scary, painful thing when you're an adult too, cause yeah, you might have the option to leave or openly declare your disbelief, but at what cost?

You stand to lose your entire family and in many cases your entire community, to be shamed by them, to be ridiculed by them, you'll turn into the very thing they fear most and chance are you won't have anyone else in those moments. Its very insular and talking to outsiders is only encouraged if it's for the purpose of bringing them to Jesus, so even as an adult you often have no one to turn to and nowhere to go. It's an impossible situation to be in even for adults, a child is even more trapped and even more at risk. And even as a child you know that. It's not said in so many words, but the consequences of losing your faith and having someone find out is taught from very early on.

As a child it's not just you who has to face them, it's your siblings and parents too, it's your entire family, cause as a child your having faith is seen as your parent's responsibility, and they let you know that, if you fuck up, if you for one second look like you don't want to play their game your parents tell you "how do you think this makes me look?" It very quickly stops being concern for your soul and starts being "if you don't decide to stop making this family look bad you won't have one anymore"

And you know this happens, and that your family will do it too, cause you've seen it happened, you've seen another kid's family sitting in the very back of the curch and not staying for tea, you hear what the adults whisper about them, and you realize you have a choice, either play the game and play it well, or be the monster that puts your own family in that situation, and that's not much of a choice

[theshoesofatiredman]

I went through a phase after deconverting where I dwelt heavily on the question of: could I have gotten out sooner? And how would I have done it? The answer I kept coming up with is probably not, because my world was so insular, because I was financially dependent on family that never would've approved, because I had been indoctrinated since I was a child and had to fight through so many levels of shame and guilt and fear to even feel like my unanswerable questions deserved good answers.

If I had tried to embrace being gay as a child, I wouldve been bullied both by my peers and by my family. If I didn't play along, if I didn't repent and hate my queerness, I probably would've been sent to a conversion camp or some sort of conversion experience and have a whole other array of traumas to deal with. I didn't start really seeing through the bullshit until I was in my mid 20s, but even if I had believed earlier that Christianity was false, I wouldn't have had any other option other than to keep acting like it was true.

So I have to forgive myself for the years I wasted serving a false god.

[mynowherenothing]

[rocatex-deactivated20260317]

jesus said this

[electricpurrs]

[depsidase]

[necropolis144]

i think one of the funniest and most annoying things i was taught as a christian is that we have free will wow so cool! but also predestination is a thing and basically that means that before you’re born god decides whether you’ll come to him or not. so you should try to convert as many people as possible but also god already knows which’ll get into heaven. and you have the freedom to choose to follow him except he’s already decided where you’re going after you die.

the predestination shit basically strips you bare of any agency in your own life, it’s confusing and contradictory and probably my least favorite part of the belief system i grew up in because of how fucking stupid it is.

[pussyinhalerr-deactivated202403]

If I was Jesus I would’ve simply said no dad this is your dream