the sentence you are referring to was from the perspective of a 6 year old version of myself that lamented not having clean clothes because of being unable to rely on my parents to run the laundry, and being 6, not having the strength, capability or resources to either do the laundry myself or get someone to do it for me
it was a self comfort when being mocked by other children for not having clean clothes, an entirely natural thought process only Because of being unable to access the resource called clean clothes through no fault of my own
the difference that I'm talking about nowadays is being 30 years old versus 6, when you are no longer a child unable to make choices, unable to access resources, yes, the way you live Does start to become your responsibility, as an adult, you are responsible for what happens to you at a base level
and that Includes when you lack the capability to care for yourself, you are still responsible for organizing your own care, for initiating that process, whether that's asking a friend for help, asking family for favours or paying for a service or getting diagnosed or going on some medicine etc etc all of that is still your responsibility as an adult
reminder the original post is about unlearning behaviours that you grew up not knowing were not okay, i grew up never observing how laundry is done, never knew how to properly clean clothes, what soaps to use etc so i never got into the habit as a kid of doing chores, meaning as a young adult i struggled with doing chores like dishes and laundry on proper schedule
and as a child that wasn't my fault or responsibility
but as an adult, if i show up to work with smelly clothes and say something like "well i didn't figure it out yet" that doesn't matter, its still my responsibility to have figured it out Before going to work, however that process was going to look like for me, whether i learn, call in a favour, or pay a service
I have adhd, which means organizing tasks and schedule appointments is a sisphyean nightmare, never going to get better, never truly.
guess who still has to get through the process of making doctors appointments for myself, answering phone calls on time, and showing up to the doctors appointments that i made?
Still all my responsibility even so
this post is aimed at folks who stop before they even attempt, who have learned helplessness in childhood and need to Unlearn it as an adult, those folks do in fact need to look at themselves and ask themselves "so, how long until i start taking care of the problem"
and if that's a day a year or a decade, that's a self reflection process they have to go through and figure out
i learned helplessness my entire childhood and through most of my young adult years, and at a certain point, you either have to make a decision to start the process of unlearning it or not
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