iâm gonna cry itâs raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldnât have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an âadultâ task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about
Thinking about AU with Shen Yuan as Linguang Jun and when Luo Binghe arrives to take over North sees sliver fix Linguang and is like '...well I didn't think there was a anything left to awaken me but I stand corrected'
Luo Binghe constantly trying to woo Linguang who is completely oblivious.
Just Mobei Jun who keeps actually trying to kill Luo Binghe because 'stop trying to fuck my dad/uncle' it's like the always sunny meme 'did you fuck my dad Junshang?'
Bingge looking for kind shizun and stumbling upon this world like '....this works to'
God... Tianlang-jun would be UNBAREABLE. You know. You KNOW he's-> *walked past* *stopped* *leeeeeaned back to get a second look* *absolute whore voice activate* Well Hello There~â ;)
So like? He's never gonna shut up about that. Cause you KNOW Shen "I am luo binghe-sexual" Yuan was all, "wow... you look A LOT like what I image luo binghe would look like. And are very forward. Am I being seduced? Is this... a bad life choice happening? Huh. All right. Let's get naked."
Which, obviously, is why a young Mobei-jun vowed to one day MURDER him.
He's lucky Mobei-jun couldn't get to him under that fucking mountain.
But like? Grand demon tradition! You want that hot, hot Dilf ass? Fight me for it! (Excuse me!? D:<) not now, sweety, Daddy's bringing the belt. (Oh god. Why did I let you-) *Tianlang-jun's shirt gets ripped* (oh right)
And just? D:< Binghe is Young and Hot! Has both daddy AND mommy issues! He's WAY better then this DECREPIT old man! He bet he's WAY better at sex! (Oh god, now you've set him off) *Tianlang-jun grins like Christmas has come early, opens his unfairly pretty mouth, and unleashes the kinkiest most innuendo laden filth ever heard by mortal ears. Several demons blush so hard they pass out.*
......*binghe points at his own father* YOU WHORE!
And that's why I GET THE DILF, BRAT! *cackling*
Meanwhile? The previous Mobei-jun? Who's on his freaking death bed? Just wants these assholes out of his castle. Brother... brother WHY. Why does your incredibly tappable ass keeping causing them all these problems? Ffs, man. Just get married already! Does he have to literally make it his dying wish?
Mobei-jun? Lookin a little crazed around the eyes. Gripping his servant by the shoulders, trying to shake secrets out of him. How. Tell him how to Kill God. He wants that old man DEAD, you hear him? That Pervert dares steps foot in this palace? And he'll sets fire to the building. There MUST be a poison that works on them! A beast! Something!!
Shang Qinghua is both alarmed and confused.
But also like.... Nice. Classy Dilf. Very eye candy. Much appreciated. đ looking RESPECTFULLY~
I'm just imagining Tianlang Jun constantly trying to seduce Shen Yuan and him just not noticing, all flying above his head.
Then Tianlung gets out and sees his kid is getting further that him... game on! It's a challenge now.
Mobei Jun is hurriedly enforcing all the defenses against heavenly demons... and also his future husbands sect siblings because he's seen them looking at his uncle/dad and NO! No one is worthy of his father everyone should just fuck off.
Oh there us no way Shen Yhan missed Tianlang-jun's interest. He's basically *kicks open a foreign royals front gate* "hey, sweet cheeks! Let's Sex! ..... also, sup, Mobei Jun. Someone broke your front gate. IDK it was like that when I got here."
Like? The desire to MURDER this man? Genetic. Mobei-jun Sr. also wanted him very, very dead. To get the FUCK out of his castle, the FUCK of his lands, and the HELL away for his unfortunately Incredibly Sexy(?) Brother!
(He's been informed about the "sexy" thing. He can't actually tell but it seems to be checking out. That's his brother and he like women, though so like? Meh. Specifically, his brother's ex-fiancee who is now his wife. Worked out great for everyone.)
It's like getting invaded by a sex pest.
Because it IS.
And the WORST part is his brother doesn't even find him OBNOXIOUS. Just "embarrassingly forward". Like? Brother. Brother, no. You oblivious, snowflake brained, fluff rabbit. That man is a slut. He reads cheap human porn in public. His SISTER FUCKED A SNAKE! I refuse to be related to him.
"But I'm discovering my sexuality and no one else is interested"?
MY ROYAL ASS THEYRE NOT.
*snaps fingers* Show of hands! *a sea of hands goes up*
God, he was so, SO relieved? When Su Xiyan showed up? Thank MERCIFUL FUCK. It's OVER.
....... *palace master fucks that up for him* *also attacks his brother and kid, who just wanted to buy some fucking books* ah. So this is what incoherent wrath feels like. I see.
*SO many Haun Hua cultivators die. Bloody and screaming.*
And like? He knows Heaven Demons. That shit can't hold him forever. Probably. Or he'd have been able to get rid of him YEARS ago. So like... promise me. PROMISE ME. Do NOT marry the Sex Pest! Brother, LOOK ME IN THE EYES. Swear it!
*is laying on death bed*
*Gods awful Sex Pest's FUCKIN SON SHOWS UP*
........are you kidding me? *said sone starts making âĄ.⥠eyes at his brother* ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? It's GENETIC!?!?
Then the fuckers start FIGHTING on his FRONT LAWN. (Bastard didn't even have the decency to die under that mountain?! Oh, COME ON!) Just? Sr.? Having the WORST time as a king and big brother. Why the fuck did his little brother have to be some sort of legendary Homme Fatale? He gets GIFT BASKET TRIBUTES from the incubus clans! This is such BULLSHIT!!
Why does no one else see he's just a nerd!? He can't hunt for SHIT! He's prissy and hates fighting! Gets all pissy if you mess with his clothes! Is LAZY AS FUCK!! The man didn't even TRY to fight me for the throne! *continues to complain and rant, as Shen Yuan peels him a fruit, nodding in agreement* Shen Yuan doesn't get it either, tbh.
Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.
So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).
And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.
Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.
Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.
Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.
Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!
Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.
Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.
But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.
Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.
Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.
Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.
However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!
Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.
In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.
Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)
So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.
Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.
Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?
Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?
No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!
Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?
Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.
Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.
So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).
So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.
Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.
Though this one is a little... peculiar?
Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.
He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.
Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.
So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.
It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?
However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.
Luo Binghe is confused.
Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.
But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that alludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.
Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.
Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(
Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.
Calvin's parents decide to take a Hawai'ian vacation. They're not sure how much of it their son will tolerate but they would like to do at least a few things that involve sandy beaches and scenic cycling routes. They are therefore pleased when Calvin seems to make friends with a local girl about his own age and the two of them run off to play
Now, from Calvin's point of view what has happened is that he spotted actual aliens, and starts trying to bring this to the attention if the adults. But the tourists are like, "that's nice, go shoot 'em with your water gun, have a good time," and the locals are like, "yeah, they're an older couple who decided to retire here. Happens all the time." Eventually, it becomes clear that Spaceman Spiff is going to have to handle it himself.
From Lilo's point of view, Jumba and Pleakley are her gay uncles, do you mind? Calvin does mind, and so the two of them spend the rest of the afternoon terrorizing Kaua'i in the effort to destroy one another while the aliens alternate between bailing them out of trouble and attempting to escape.
Hobbes and Stitch, meanwhile, are calmly playing checkers and drinking non-alcoholic margaritas.
So sorry @vowled for getting to this so late, but here are the Severitus or Severitus-ish fics that I saved on my AO3!
"Sorry, Aunt Petunia." by Emily_Elizabeth_Fowl, sparklygems
A single change can make a world of difference.
Or, in other words, Harry accidentally says "Sorry, Aunt Petunia," to Snape of all people.
Chaos ensues.
Attached by randomausfulloffluff
Soon before Voldemort kills the Potters, Lily comes to Severus and makes him promise to protect Harry. This vow alerts him when Harry is in danger a week after his parents' deaths. After retrieving Harry to Hogwarts, Severus is determined to keep his distance as much as possible â but when does Severus ever get what he wants?
In which Severus is a Glorified Potter PillowTM and the Hogwarts staff is the peanut gallery.
Live and learn by Hejsan_Svejsan_Booo
Severus never imagined his life would be like this, everything changed when he found a young hurt girl in the woods who he decided to take in and call his daughter. Thanks to her he changed his whole trajectory of life, and now here he was, trying to save the Longbottomâs. His daughter befriending Percy Weasley, and leading Severus straight to a young and hurt Harry Potter. But even though his life was chaotic he would not want to change it.
Menagerie by Bil
AU. Take one Severus Snape, one baby Potter, and one insane Headmaster; simmer gently and stir well. Don't forget to duck!
More Than One Way to Skin a Cat by AverageFish
Bleeding out on the floorboards, Severus greeted death as a friend.
He wasn't expecting to wake up.
Stuck in the infant body of Harry Potter, with his addled cousin by his side, Severus is walking a mile in a very different pair of shoes.
A time travel fix-it. The oddest Severitus (Sevitus) you'll ever read. Betad by Eider Down.
Stripped Down and Rebuilt by SofiaDragon
Severus Snape doesn't think Albus' plan to martyr Potter will work out and knows nothing of the secret setup to give Harry a chance to live through the killing curse a second time. He decides that what they really needed was to start hunting the Horcruxes years ago instead of waiting for children to do it for them. He sends back his private notes and everything needed to brew a potion to strip off the spells that are restricting his behavior. He expects that his younger self will receive the information in 1992 at best.
The adventures of Snape slowly adopting Harry Potter by Flumet
An AO3 Series
A series of one-shots that follow Severus as he first takes care of Harry "temporarily" and then slowly becomes his adoptive father.
The Guardian by Anifan1
After the death of the Dursleys before Harryâs eighth birthday, itâs suddenly up to Severus Snape to take care of him. Temporarily, of course. Until a better guardian can be found. Severitis (non-biological). NO corporal punishment. AU, but follows canon knowledge of the Dursleys.
The Tragedy of Severus Snape (as Directed by Teenagers) by destieldumbbitch
All Harry wanted in his third year was a bit of peace, maybe some decent marks in Potions, and definitely fewer life-threatening disasters. Instead, he somehow becomes Hogwartsâ unwilling therapist, accidental matchmaker, and (apparently) Snapeâs semi-adopted son. Featuring: a gleeful matchmaking conspiracy, Lupin deciding subtlety is optional, Snape suffering in silence (mostly), and far too much student gossip.
There's Something Different About Snape by a_decently_sized_worm @a-decently-sized-worm
The year is 2025. An average guy gets hit by a car on his way home from work and dies.
In another universe, the year is 1992. Severus Snape wakes up. He proceeds to have a panic attack.
What if? by alwayslily22, and Des98
An AO3 Series
Baby Harry is adopted by McGonagall and Pomfrey and Severus Snape is wrapped around his little fingers.
Not a secret family, you're just oblivious. Part 7
First <Previous Next>
Barbra was happy to be home. She had a great time with her dad and was proud of him for taking the time off, but she missed home. She went to check her case files after she had settled in to find one flagged by Bruce as a family emergency. She opened the file and immediately called Bruce upon seeing the name at the top and lack of information.
âBruce what happened with Danny? Are the kids okay? Whereâs Tim?â She asked as she readied to go to the cave. With something serious enough to warrant a family emergency, they should all be centralized. Especially to be there for Tim if anything had happened to Danny.
Her thoughts and actions were interrupted by Bruceâs incredulous âYou knew about Danny?â She paused and looked at the file again. A personnel file with only the barest of information. Nothing more than what Tim put in when they got engaged.
âSeriously Bruce. I know you didnât approve of their relationship when they were first dating, but come on theyâve been together for half a decade. I meanââ
âBarbara what do you mean I didnât approve of their relationship. Tim never told me about it.â Bruce asked his tone hard.
âWhen I asked Tim why you werenât involved with the twins after they first move to Gotham. He said âWhy would he be? He doesnât even approve of my relationship to begin with.ââ She explained. They definitely needed to be discussing this in person. âHe seemed upset about it, and his relationships with pretty much everyone were rocky at the time, so I left it. It was only a year after the whole time stream incident.â
Bruce was silent for too long. Barbra could practically see him thinking through everything. âI think you should come to the manor. We all need to talk.â
-
Danny handed each kid their scavenger hunt list. It was a tradition heâd had with his parents. Simple things to find while they hike, a yellow flower, a mushroom, a tree stump. He and Tim had sticker sheets to put on the list as the kids found the items. The winner got to choose where they stopped to eat on the way home.
He remembered the first time he finished the list before Jazz. His Dad made such a big deal of it. Got him an extra cookie at the restaurant. It hurt to think about those memories now that his parents were out of his life. But they were still the best parts of his childhood, and he wanted them for his kids.
He grabbed Timâs hand and told the kids to walk in front of them and reminded them of the rules. They ran back and forth to the edges of the trail to try and complete the list first, calling for one of their parents every time they found something. There were a few pauses along the way, an argument over who saw the patch of purple flowers first, a nature spirit becoming incredibly giggly when Ellie called the leaf from her tree âvery pretty,â and more.
Eventually, they got to the playground, and it was empty. They gave the kids the sandwiches they had for lunch before they set off to play on the equipment and went to sit together on the bench. Tim leaned against his husband and felt in his barely their core the hum of contentment-love-family. They sat and watched the twins play, having to get onto them a couple of time for using their powers. Reminding them that even if no one else was at the park, they were still in public.
Overall it was a good day, even if the kids had worn themselves out enough that they needed to be carried back to camp.
-
Cass and her littlest brother were following their brotherâs Tim's family on another hike. From what Cass pulled up about this trail, it led to a park. The kids seemed even more excited about this hike than the one the day before. They each had some sort of checklist.
She could clearly see how much they all love each other. Naturally and freely. There was no caution in the love like there often was with her family. She honestly didnât know Tim could be like this. That hurt. It was a new hurt she didnât have the words for.
The small family made it to the playground with little incident. The kids played and the parents settled on a bench to watch. She saw a peace she had never seen Tim have before this trip, as he leaned against his husband. Cass hadnât given to much consideration to marriage, romance sure some but not marriage. Maybe if this is what it could be like sheâd give it more thought.
She was drawn from her thoughts by Damianâs soft gasp and Danny jogging over to get onto his child. His floating child. Damian looked over at her. âI think we may need to call father.â
Danny: Remember how I told Ghostwriter I was going to write a novel just to shut him up?
Jazz: Yeah?
Danny: Well, I actually did it.
Jazz: Really? Danny! That's huge! Writing can be so hard!
Danny: Thanks, it was a lot of fun.
Jazz: Of course. Did you just finish writing it? Is that why you gasped like that?
Danny: Oh no, I finished it weeks ago. I just got an email from Queen Publishing that they want to be my publishing company
Jazz: *spits out water* WHAT?!
Danny: I know! I didn't even submit it!
Jazz: Oh....it might be a scam.
Danny: Oh. Yeah. You're right. That makes sense.
Maddie bursts into the room: It's not a scam! I found your manuscript while I cleaned your room and sent it in! Oh, Danny, it was a wonderful piece!
Jack right behind her carrying a rainbow cake: On a unrelated note, you know we love you right? No matter what?
Maddie unzipping her hazard suit to reveal a t-shirt with the words Be Who You are in rainbow: WE SUPPORT YOU CHILD
Jazz: Ummmm??
Danny: The book is about the holidays personified as gay men who come to Earth and fall in love with humans. I based them off the Bats from Gotham.
Jazz: Ah. Yeah that explains the parents but not why you choose the Bats.
Danny: Simple. Batman is Halloween because his big and scary. Nightwing is Valentines because of how bubbly and loving he is. Red Hood is ground hog day because-
Jazz: You made Red Hood into a gay personification of Ground Hog Day!?
Danny: Its makes sense in the plot
Jazz: HOW!?
Danny: You can read my book and find out. Queen Industries will have the first printout by late November.
Jack in the background: LOVE IS LOVE. NO MAN'S HEART IS SAFE FROM THE FENTONS!!
Maddie: RAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Danny: I can't tell if they want me to fight other men or date them
Jazz: I think it's a little of both. Ignore them. How do I pre-order your book? I have a lot of questions about the plot that need answering.
I've been thinking about an Avatar AU where the Sarentu children aren't put into cryogenic sleep (They also are younger than in canon) and are adopted by Jake after the rebellion. Can you imagine Jake and Neytiri raising 14 children?
The biological children they had (Neteyam, Lo'ak and Tuktirey) And the ones they adopted (Tamtey, Aha'ri, Nor, Ri'nela, Teylan,Telisi,Yefti, Yuayt, Okni, Kiri and Spider)
Norm would have adopted them if he didn't already have his plate full of all the children he adopted.
Honestly, Neytiri and Jake would have gone crazy with the number of kids they'd have to worry about in this AU.
Aha'ri lives! (but Nor still hates the RDA lol because Mercer almost killed her )
snowghoul
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
