I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
[Chorus]
Sing how Achilles, bold and swift-footed
Arrogant, impulsive, prone to boast, quit
Turning Trojans into ghosts
Sulked and threw a tantrum by the coast
Insulted his commander,
Welcome folks, to the Iliad's next chapter!
Agamemmnon's angry, so he takes Achilles's slave girl,
[Agamemmnon]
"There there, Briseis, I'm sure you will be a brave girl"
[Chorus]
Agamemmnon says "Go home! And take your ships, we'll win without you!" in his taunts
Achilles holds his spear up in reponse:
[Achilles]
Sit down Agamemmnon, you DOGFACED COWARD MOTHER-[BLEEP]
Of all his demonic achievements, fewer things made Crowley as proud of himself as the phenomenon of "waiting on hold".
It was genuis, really. You take a person already in a moderately unpleasant situation - they are being charged for a product they don't want, they need to book a hospital appointment, they are trapped in a labyrinthine web of incomprehensible tax requirements. You then add an intensely unpleasant situation, with the vague but not guaranteed promise that there might, possibly, if they endure the auditory unpleasantess for an hour or so, be a solution to their original problem. It has all the pain of gambling, with none of the possibility of a big win. It's either a small loss or a big loss, and either way you have to stay on the phone.
Overtime, he had perfected the art of making this as unpleasant as possible. More annoying music! Condescending voices, telling you things you already know! Little sounds that sound as though your call has just been answered, but then the music starts again! Please note, on Fridays, our phone lines are switched to an out-of-ours service. If you need to book an appointment, please stay on the line. Did you know you can access more information on our website?
The real innovation, though, had been the machines. Long mazes of Press 1 for English, Press 1 if you have an account with us already, Press 1 if your call is about your membership; and after what feels like years of wandering in the desert: We can't address this query over the phone. Please visit our website for more options. His favourite was a parcel delivery company, which dumped all parcels in a landful. If you ring them to inquire about the whereabouts of your parcel, you have to read aloud an 18-digit alphanumeric code to a machine which has a perfect record of never once understanding the code.
literally i just canât comprehend any interpretation of hamlet that doesnât put grief at the center like. hamletâs father died and he is actively grieving throughout the play that is the driver of all of his behavior. âis hamlet actually crazy or is he putting on a performanceâ is a boring question to me because grief is a type of insanity. grief makes you feel like you are performing even when you are all alone. it makes you feel like youâre seeing things it makes you feel completely alone it makes you cling to the people around you it makes you push them away it makes you angry and sad and hamlet wants to kill claudius for replacing his father and taking his mother from him as much as he wants to kill him for revenge.
me personally I like to imagine Claudius killed his brother in the first place because he came across a group of witches who told him that heâd be king someday and he took it from there. I also like to imagine that thereâs just a coven of witches that hangs around Europe telling unstable and violent men in positions of power that theyâre soon to be king just to see what happens. theyâre pot stirrers
hey, iâm sorry, i ate your boyfriendâs heart. yeah it was after he slandered, scorned and dishonoured my kinswoman. in the marketplace yeah. i mean he was approved in the height a villain so- yeah no iâm really sorry
Ok but consider: A production of Hamlet that starts with the last scene and then Horatio has to play his role in the rest of the play, but heâs still completely dissolved in tears. Everyone else is oblivious and he has to keep it together for the sake of storytelling, but his voice cracks as he says âI think I saw him yesternightâ, regret filling his tone, and he frantically holds on to Hamlet as he begs him not to follow the ghost; he practically chokes on his words as he shouts, âBe rulâd!â And he knows itâs no use, but heâs so reluctant to play his part in this and he can barely keep his emotions at bay.
And then the end of the story draws nearer. He takes longer and longer to say his lines. He hesitates, tries to stretch out the little time heâs got left with Hamlet. He doesnât want to be in this narrative, but he is.
Until finally, as Hamlet decides to duel Laertes, Horatio simply gives up. Reluctantly, but knowingly, he accepts the fact that thereâs nothing he can do but play his part and relive it all, just to honor Hamletâs legacy and story.
And Hamlet dies in his arms a second time.
the experience of tragedy in plays specifically because âmaybe it will end differently this timeâ feels possible. This isnât pre-recorded. This isnât set down in time and film. This is live, this is now, these people are real and maybe this time when they open the letter it wonât say âkill the messengerâ. Maybe this time they get to live
the way hamlet acts in act 5 scene 1 juuuust clicked to me. like my impression was "smh my head he is so toxic, he did NOT love ophelia as much as laertes did, what is wrong with him" but actually i think the thing that sets him off isn't just laertes' display of grief, it's also how everyone takes it seriously. everyone treats ophelia's funeral like a funeral and is sympathetic to laertes and understanding of his desire to jump in a grave with her etc but these same people around hamlet expected him to celebrate his uncle's coronation and move on from his father's death at the same time. in that moment hamlet sees laertes as similar to the actor narrating priam's death in act 2 scene 2 and it makes him SO mad (and he regrets it later in act 5 scene 2 which is after he realizes laertes' emotions are as real as his own. probably why he calls him "brother" as well)
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