It's Hard To Say "I Do" When I Don't

I'm just the man on the balcony, singing, "Nobody will ever remember me." -Fall Out Boy. Call me Pants. Or don't. Do whatever you like. If you want to get creative, follow my other blog: @elizabetheeyre

[kaijuno]

[starry-eyed-darling]

[edward-blake-unknown-knight]

[nerdyogre]

FISH HAMMER

[a-wa-c]

For beating the carp outta someone

[fullmetalfisting]

Just saw a news article that cops shut down a timothee chalamet lookalike context in New York which is a very funny thing for police to do

[fullmetalfisting]

They were arresting the lookalikes who failed to disperse. The grand prize for the contest was only $50. They had a giant check for it

[fullmetalfisting]

[shortcakedoggie-reblog]

@nenerobopistol noodles are ready

[nenerobopistol]

THIS IS SO FUNNY?? YOU COULDVE TEXTED ME??

[felixcloud6288]

[dumbledorathexplora]

I think its horrible how people just celebrate Halloween without knowing why! We wouldn’t even be here if Jesus hadn’t slain that colossal pumpkin

[victusinveritas]

In case you need it for your D&D games or siege actions— here's what the ballistic trajectory of a flaming pumpkin fired out of a trebuchet looks like.

[flightyquinn]

Actually, this is very helpful for visualizing a ballistic arc.

[victusinveritas]

Right? I've already sent it to my math teaching friends. One occasionally brings in a tiny trebuchet for his class and this might encourage him to up his game.

[typhlonectes]

[santapau]

Remind me later.

[maybeallieart]

An embroidery of the Wikipedia page for embroidery.

[makemeacuppa]

“Feel that life is wholly unendurable, and decide madly to get a new hat.”

— Diary of a Provincial lady, EM Delafield

[beardedmrbean]

just some lads, being fellows

[astrangeenchantedboy]

thinking about when i was small, how my mom told me that pipe cleaners were just a tool until people started idly shaping things with them and it grew so popular that they were marketed as crafting materials. and that story about how the original frisbees were disposable pie plates that students flattened to throw. and how when i was a child i had a wooden mancala set with shiny, colorful stones, but on invention it was played with rocks and grooves dug into the dirt. and middle school, paper football and tic-tac-toe and mash and mad libs, games that just need pen and paper. and before that, games of pretend with pirates and princes and masked marauders. how at slumber parties after lights out, we used to whisper storytelling games, i say one sentence and you say the next. and shadow puppets. and the way all the kids in the neighborhood used to divide into teams and throw fallen pine cones at one another. and the floor is lava game, and the quiet game, and the games i play with my coworkers that are just words and retention. and "put a finger down" on the high school bus. and little girls clapping together, and how the first jump-rope was undoubtedly just a length of rope who knows how long ago, and how natural it is to play, how we seek play at every age and with any resources we have and with whatever time we can squeeze it into in a day. i'm not an anthropologist or a psychologist but i think after food and shelter and water and air what comes next is games and stories and laughter. i think that there is nothing -- not sex or fighting or forming unlikely bonds with animals -- there is nothing more human than to play.

[helpful-writing-tips]

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.

[writingwithfolklore]

We had a lot of fun with this one on the discord so reblogging it here as well!

[sadcena]

Making gifs is hard

[sadcena]

All this effort ...for this

[pointnclick]

it's looped so perfectly i feel like im watching them in the microwave

[holl-horse]

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

Clips from rare 1991 Spanish TV cut of Goncharov. Sourced from limited 2001 PAL DVD release.

[kitsnicket]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

@edgar-allan-possum this seems up your alley.

[byjoveimbeinghumble]

Cinderella (2015) made Lady Tremaine infinitely more interesting, sympathetic, and villainous with just a short monologue and Cate Blanchett’s killer delivery:

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl who married for love. And she had two loving daughters. All was well...But, one day, her husband, the light of her life, died. The next time, she married for the sake of her daughters. But that man, too, was taken from her. And she was doomed to look every day upon his beloved child. She had hoped to marry off one of her beautiful, stupid daughters to the prince. But his head was turned by a girl with glass slippers. And so...I lived unhappily ever after. My story would appear to be ended. Now, tell me yours.

There are a hundred ways the writers, director, and actress could’ve played this.

What immediately strikes the viewer is the first few sentences are delivered without any irony or sarcasm. She was beautiful, she loved her husband, she loved her daughters. There’s no evidence here that she was secretly evil.

Then tragedy strikes - through no fault of her own.

She chooses the most pragmatic option - can we blame her?

Then her second husband dies - and her hissing on “sssstupid” daughters (compare that to the sober “loving daughters”!) tells us she knows how perilous their situation is.

This is a neat trajectory into sympathetic evil, “Break the Cutie” as TvTropes would say.

The thing is, Lady Tremaine was awful before that! Before her second husband died, she spent too much money, and kicked Ella out of her OWN HOUSE.

On the other, other hand, I would argue that her primary goal in life is the security of her daughters. Ella is a threat to that, even before the prince enters - at least in Tremaine’s head.

Tremaine operates on constant double standards: she criticizes the mystery princess for the breach of etiquette of being unaccompanied, but she forces her daughters onto dance partners without the men’s consent, and when they’d come with their own dates!

Back to the monologue: she sounds in control through the whole thing, and by the end nearly resigned. She’s mostly fine with Ella marrying the prince - as long as she (Tremaine) and her daughters are secure and have some influence.

Then Ella refuses to play ball, and Tremaine loses it. Breaking the shoe and locking Ella up are played as impetuous decisions (although I’m sure Tremaine thought this outcome was possible).

Tremaine is so angry not just for the admitted reasons - “because you are young, and innocent, and good, and I —“ - but because Ella has faced tragedy too, and Ella chose differently.

Tremaine and Ella both lost loved ones unexpectedly, throwing them at the mercy of the world and their wits. They were both women in vulnerable positions. Tremaine made choices, and she can lie to herself fairly successfully that she had to make those choices.

Then Ella makes the opposite choices, and Tremaine’s justifications can’t hold up.

It’s not evil just for fun, but it’s not “oh they’re just a misunderstood villain”. Tremaine is a human being, who suffered tragedy through no fault of her own, then ultimately chose selfishness.