Eats, Shoots, and Leaves

"The shrill blast is blowing, Chilly the burn; Your champion is going- Not to return." - Ching K'o - 227 B.C.E. _________________________________ 32 y/o bi trans dude just doin' the best he can. (He/Him) ________________________________ Panda Zenyatta commissioned by tumblr user Wanlingnic ________________________________ Background Photo by me - 2014 成都，中国

[pandamonk]

When you're in need of a healing item in a videogame

[oneheadtoanother]

[softblockwashere-deactivated202]

[manypersons]

What creature is this?

[softblockwashere-deactivated202]

Fuck your entire life

[evilwizard]

attention acolytes! in order to maximize shareholder value, i will be turning all of you into gold statues, frozen in twisted spasms of pain for all eternity, in a great and lifeless mausoleum. we expect to eke out a marginal gain in Q3

[brainscrems]

And how does this increase shareholder value O Great and Powerful Dark One?

[nerathul]

Obviously we can add the statues to our assets while also cutting down on employee expenses.

[brainscrems]

I see! This sounds like a sustainable business practice and I have no further questions.

[evilwizard]

yes! im so good at Company

[snail-friend]

Bad news boss... Some fella called Midas just rang about copyright?

[mothcub]

Do it for them.

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

[zagreus]

[drchucktingle]

oh dang the most important review of all just came in

[bombsights]

and this is why baseball is the best sport (see also: these baseball sidequests)

[wowwforever]

how could you post all this and not include that Matt Hilton (bee guy) got a baseball card out of this event

[cricketandmouse]

They’re passive aggressively cleaning each others faces in the banana bed rn

[cricketandmouse]

peace and love on planet earth….

[zolltraak]

[uncle-beanbag-mojave]

We would fully accept any Japanese buckaroo

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Foreigners will never understand how someone like Rawhide Kobayashi would immediately become a beloved local fixture in whatever small American town he ended up in.

[brazenautomaton]

every single time someone pulls the "How would you AMERICANS like it if someone came to AMERICA and" reversal, the answer is always "we'd fucking love it"

[not-so-innocent-bi-sander]

@kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd

Your tags summed up the exact feeling I had about this

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I just Googled the Swedish-Japanese guy in the OP, and according to this interview, his Japanese name was given to him by the master gardener he was apprenticed under:

“The family name ‘Murasame’ was given to me by my master. The given name ‘Tatsumasa’ is a combination of ‘dragon’ (tatsu), the [zodiac] year when I was born, and one character from my master’s name,” says Murasame."

So I think maybe it's less like naming yourself 'Brandon McFreedom' and more like moving to the states to work under a veteran car mechanic named Bud McLean, and then having him turn to you after a few years on the job, and say "Son, it's time for you to become an American so you can open up your shop. And when that day comes, I think the world should know you by a new name: McLeo GM Corvette."

[teaboot]

Named by his superior by conventions one would apply to a super chill stray cat

[pikabelle]

This is actually how samurai would get new names when they entered adulthood and began serving a new master. They'd generally go by a "childhood name" given to them by their parents at birth, then when they came of age (or their life circumstances just changed), they'd get a new name made up of kanji relavant to their life, and one of those kanji would usually be from the name of their new master.

TIL that gardeners follow a feudalistic heirarchy and abide by the Eight Virtues of Bushido.

[pancakeke]

I’m watching season one simpsons

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[release-the-sheep]

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.

[charlesoberonn]

What is the most inappropriate show to add a beach episode to?

[charlesoberonn]

Yeah okay this one's the winner

[segamascott]

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine that one day as you're walking on a hot sunny path, your hat jumps off your head and lands into a muddy ditch. And you look at your muddy hat and ask it: "What did you do that for?"

"I don't want to be a burden anymore", your hat answers. "You are always carrying me around, and I can't carry you. That's not fair."

"I don't mind carrying you, little idiot", you tell your hat, "you hardly weight anything at all, and you shelter me from the sun."

"But that's different", your hat protests. "I don't mind the sun scorching on me. That happens anyway. It's literally no trouble for me to shade you too."

"Just the same it's no trouble for me to carry you. But now, because you wanted to stop inconveniencing and bothering me, I am now hatless and you are in the dirt."

[jantesika]

hello Aesop; how's the underworld been?

[homunculus-argument]

Every day I wake up and Hades kicks me in the nuts.

[ppups]