Elysium @paradoxfailure - Tumblr Blog

Via amandapourlesintimes

i feel bad for bigender people, the commute between Jupiter and college has got to be rough

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

hairspraywhore

>no idea what a tumblr accent even is

>”oozes off of me like a thick miasma”

psych-is-the-name

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

the-big-mood

wizardshark

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

sexshopshenanigans

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

oldmanpusspuss

I can't watch a television show until a demon possesses me and compels me to do it

jesterlesbian

you have to remember it's always always worse on twitter

enki2

transcyberism

ok but this unironically works. talk about how the working class is exploited and you can basically sell full-on marxism to your average republican if you do it right. all you have to do is avoid the words "Marx," "capitalism," "socialism," "communism," "means of production," etc - just use synonyms. say "big business" or "corporate shareholder interests" instead of "capitalists." say "a government that prioritizes the needs of the working people" instead of "socialism." it WORKS. I've DONE it. the hardest sell are usually things like social and racial equity, welfare, things like that, because people have been primed with the racist/classist idea that those things are somehow unfair - but you can get your foot in the door to getting them to buy into those too if you start with class issues. read up on your theory, make sure you REALLY understand your own ideology, because that will enable you to reword it and successfully sell it.

a-ginger-in-black

In my experience, you can often help sell 'welfare' stuff by appealing to self-interest with a touch of Aren't We Great.

Disability benefits: "I mean, sure, there are probably some sad sacks who are gaming the system, there always are, but hell, with the amount of taxes we pay, the government can afford a few freeloaders, right? I'd rather pay for a couple people who don't really need it than not have the system at all for if I need it, or my kids do, or whatever. I mean shit happens. What if some asshole drunk driver puts me in the hospital and it takes me a year to get back on my feet? Or Heaven forbid something permanent happens. I'll sure be glad that I can get disability then, won't I?"

UBI: "I dunno, the kind of guy who'll just sit on the couch playing Call of Duty all day if he doesn't have to work, I kinda don't want him on my job site anyway. That type is just taking up a place that you could fill with someone who'll actually get the job done, you know? You end up short-handed even though you technically have enough people because everyone else has to pick up his slack. And it'd mean that if your boss is a dick you can tell him to shove it and not worry your kids are gonna go hungry while you find a better place. We can sure as hell afford it."

Racial equity: "I've got a lot more in common with a Black guy who's just trying to get the job done than I do with some rich white asshole who thinks the sun shines out of his ass because of how much money mommy and daddy have."

curioscurio

I have a confession to make... I thought the idea of wireless headphones like air pods were so so stupid when they first came out. But having owned wireless headphone pods with a case I have to admit that I do enjoy them quite a lot. But we should still eat the spleen of every person who lobbied to phase out the headphone jack in electronics

mariasklodowskastwixbar

Wireless headphones: great, can move around without having to drag my phone or laptop with me, chord doesn't get caught on doorknobs anymore

No headphone jack in my phone: terrible, awful, everyone involved should get hit with a hammer

carmelcup2

mevil

ratking-usurper

butch-tradwife

For everyone who ‘used to love reading’ but now hasn’t finished a book in years, you CAN get it back. Genuinely start bringing a book (preferably short and either fiction or a non fiction topic you already really enjoy) everywhere you go and when you have 5-20 mins waiting for the bus or at the doctors office or mechanic or whatever, get out your book and read it! You don’t have to finish it quickly or even read it often but it is so good for your brain and fun to get into the habit of reading more (and replacing being on your phone for those moments). Source: I read 0 books in 2023 and I’ve read 12 in the first 4 months of 2026

taylortut

the “sexy lamp test” but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscript

taylortut

reblogging one of my most underrated posts: the dying dog test

dogpuppy

pansy2025

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

mezzodical

clonerightsagenda

I rag on Maes Hughes for being chill with genocide but to be *entirely* fair upon a reread, it's not like he's loving it, he's just not particularly haunted by it either. Roy rants about how this is a betrayal of how he joined the military to protect people (mistake number one, dude, seriously) and Maes calls him naive. His reason for fighting is to stay alive. While Roy talks about his dreams of a better future, Maes refers to letters from his girlfriend as his brighter future. He's willing to support Roy's ambitions because Roy's his friend, but he thinks they're childish.

The impression I get is that Hughes has decided he can tolerate atrocities as long as he stays alive and can go home to his loving family, so he leans into that loving family really hard. That's his reward. That's what makes it worth it. Which adds a layer to Envy killing him while disguised as his wife. You can't hold those things separate. If you're a collaborator propping up an awful regime, your family (and you) will still eventually become its victims. The rot at the heart of the nation is wearing your loved one's face.

finnglas

when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

finnglas

I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.

finnglas

oh no is this what we’re doing now