Stay Gold

23/avid reader

[kosmogrl]

[creatrixcymraes]

me, my husband and my son are in a constant cycle of echolalia and nonsense

I once saw a panel from a Popeye comic on here about him having "bonkus of the conkus" (ie hitting his head) and now we all say that phrase constantly, as well as using "bonkers of the conkers" (a natural mutation) to mean something that's wild/crazy

and occasionally a cashier at the supermarket makes small talk about how hot the weather is and I reply, yeah, bonkers of the conkers!

[creatrixcymraes]

the comic in question, if you even care

[wizardarchetypes]

one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

[myothertardisisonthemun]

I sent a letter today - something I haven’t done for years

It’s full of plastic bread clips

It’s for Science

[myothertardisisonthemun]

At the risk of loosing some mystery, I think I should add some context:

There’s this website-I mean, scientific organization called the Holotypic Occlupanid Reasurch Group.

They are a group of abiologists who study and classify Bread clips.

I found a species that has not yet been described:

Yay for citizen science 👍

[numberlover1729]

wtf?

[myothertardisisonthemun]

Update:

[meckamecha]

Apparently HORG is widely appreciated by pediatricians since knowing exactly what kind of Occlupanid a child may have swallowed makes removing it safely much easier

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

IIRC this is actually part of the reason HORG was started. A man swallowed a breadclip and the clip closed around part of his tissue linings (in his intestines I think?). The specific shape and flexibility of the clip were significant determining factors in the removal process, as some bread clips have spikes and prongs that would have made extraction more complicated. They started the taxonomy so they could work out extraction techniques for each type.

[wyndryga]

are you fucking kidding me occlu like oculus or close and panid like bread. its a fancy word for breadcloser

[ramblin-tiger]

At first I thought this was just your standard shit post, but I have gained knowledge now.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[faggystrogen]

[afeelgoodblog]

To avoid deer strikes, Finland is painting deer antlers with reflective paint.

[slowspinningredemption]

damn just pay them a living wage

[notkatniss]

[i-had-potential]

#that is the most venomous native lizard in north america

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

so i was compelled to look that up and

A) the most venomous lizard in north america is called the Gila Monster

B) I’m no expert obviously but that boy there sure looks like a Gila Monster

C) from the Gila Monster wikipedia article, here is the funniest doctor that ever lived:

"I have never been called to attend a case of Gila monster bite, and I don't want to be. I think a man who is fool enough to get bitten by a Gila monster ought to die. The creature is so sluggish and slow of movement that the victim of its bite is compelled to help largely in order to get bitten."

–Dr. Ward, Arizona Graphic, September 23, 1899

[michellechang]

peach every morning when she goes to take a walk

[soft-lovely]

they are all saying hello

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Bein’ a vampire is actually way less sexy when you consider you must now live a life without garlic knots

[xemeterydr]

I’m lactose intolerant but I still eat ice cream. I’m no pussy and neither are vampires

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

your so smart

[xemeterydr]

Dude that was over 2 1/2 years ago why are you just now responding

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Are you mad at me

[pancakeke]

making a tree topper

[winter-rabbit-2]

Please take pictures

[pancakeke]

photo!

[dragontribeadventures]

Damascus was a bad man at the vet and was very bitey so he got put in the lizard straight jacket for his x-rays.

[xekstrin]

#shame spa

[stephendann]

How to Towel your Dragon

[marlynnofmany]

Filing this one along with the best method for weighing tiny birds, in terms of the sheer undignity of it all:

*tiny muffled bird voice*  “How dare you!”

[ratfuck]

need me a shortstack hottie that likes to eat bugs

[devakitty]

got one for you right here boss

[ratfuck]

shes so perfect

[finchwingart]

cheetah cub

[berlynn-wohl]

What I love about ducks is that they really do quack. It’s not just hype.

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

[twofingerswhiskey]

direct action: vore edition

[camwoodstock]

hang on gotta look this up

[camwoodstock]

yea that’s a good one

[ace-latte]

Don't worry guys Darren and his spirit level are on the job

[logarto]

entranced recently not by “i can fix him” or “i can make him worse” but the “something deeply wrong with him and i want to be around as like a spectator when the car crash inevitably happens” dynamic

[impiousphyrne-deactivated202402]

[demonladytakkuri]

Hope people who know nothing about death note understand the human boy is the deeply unhinged one in this duo.

[pipshinwhatever]

Jeremy from Phineas and Ferb is like the best fictional boyfriend ever like he never judges Candace for her insecurities. Candace tries to change herself for him? He pretends briefly to act like he loves this new version so she realizes for herself that wait, he loves her just the way she is. She worries that Jeremy doesn't really care about her because he's never given her a nickname? He simply tells her that he likes the name Candace, because it's her name. She asks him why he loves her? Not only does he not tease her or make her feel bad for asking, he goes out of his way to sing a whole song about why he likes her. Before they were officially in a relationship, he flirted with her by getting his uncle to rename the grilled cheese in his sandwich shop to "the Candace special". Who even does that. Candace loved it