Hello there friends

23. England. Permanently covered in glitter and probably listening to Camila Cabello.

[fluffymcmuffins]

remember when macklemore said “walk into the club like whaddup i gotta big cock” and we just let him

[l4dymanor]

except for the fact it was my birthday, MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY

[velmasdinkleys]

thinking about how much more powerful Potential Breakup Song by Aly & AJ would have been if they were allowed to say “except for the fact it was my birthday, my fucking birthday”

[velmasdinkleys]

this post is from april 2019. you’re welcome.

[opalescentboy-deactivated202106]

Is he... you know... ???

[hofessorx]

The little gay run I do across the street that makes driver's wanna hit me

[guinifiku]

me: time isn't real

me: why did it take you exactly 3 hours 24 min and 36 seconds to respond to my text

[anexperimentallife]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[e-lodicolo]

[cherrynight]

I love when I go through my notes and find some really great passive-aggressive lesbian movie ideas!

[xexpectationsx]

[cinderpile-deactivated20201007]

not to shill on main but

for all your good cow needs

[radiosandrecordings]

Do not separate them

[infomics]

[floorwildcat]

Holy guacamole and cheddy cheese!

[anomalousdata]

“I mean, that’s not really that impres–JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”

[pizzaotter]

JESUS FUCK

[phrases]

bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries

[fotobilog]

[iwillreadyourbooks]

STOP! Let the little penguin cross your dash he has places to go.

[rebelmeg]

I just sat here and waited for a pixel penguin to waddle across my screen, AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN

[automatic-caution-door]

[ladysnowofmpls]

ok this is really sweet

[waitwhatdidtheysay]

[captions]

Girl: “You glue them on.”

Dude 1: [very confused] “Why would you do that? I don’t glue mine on.”

Dude 2: [also confused] “Yeah, what the fuck?”

Girl: “Have you never heard of gluing them on?”

Dude 2: [incredulous] “No!”

Girl: “Watch this.” [she removes her eyelash]

Dude 1: [slightly panicked] “No, I- STOP.” 

Dude 2: [shocked gasp] [pause] [concerned] “Do you still have eyelashes?”

Girl: [laughs]

[mockwa]

[eroscestlavie]

 this is it..where i hold the Meetings..

[thecheesyllama]

[louceph]

[reallyreallyreallyloveyou]

laying on your significant other is a love language

[pokemonblack2white2nintndods2k12]

just wanted to tell you guys something

whenever you think “thats too big to be sea bass”…

its not too big

it is a sea bass