boy am i glad that we're out here and he's frozen-

any pronouns, your most flammable acquaintance

[weirdmageddon]

[pocketss]

It was important to me that she puts emphasis on the TOK

[kaibacorpintern]

Not OTP nor NOTP but a magical third thing: I’m indifferent to your ship but your fanart fucking slaps

[ip2lb]

[tatters-the-bat]

My favorite YTP jokes in no particular order:

Cutting off big numbers to be really small, especially monetary values ("Owns a business worth 1.2 dollars" "Biggest in the world! Holds two")

Game show YTPs where the completely nonsensical answer the contestants give is actually correct

Introduction sections that are artificially extended because the same guy keeps appearing over and over between other people, bonus points if the additional copies of the guy are actually edited to be there afterward

saus will never not be funny

A very animated movement or expression like a gasp or a laugh being reversed midway through

When a commercial says something like "cool, right?" and then immediately goes "No, wrong, this is actually completely normal"

[adhdwerewolfgf]

mr sandman

man me a sand

[thesylverlining]

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

[adhdwerewolfgf]

i cannot begin to explain the emotions i feel every day knowing that this post i made in the middle of playing tf2 when i was 16 is going to be the one thing of mine that has made the largest impact on the world by a fucking mile

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[normal-thoughts-official]

ladies, if she

likes caviar and cigarettes

is well versed in etiquette

is extraordinarily nice

shes not your girl. shes a killer queen, gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser bean, guaranteed to blow your mind

[rapidashrider]

[jimbles-archive]

[str-ngeloop]

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

[hbmmaster]

namesakes of temperature scales and how real they sound:

Anders Celsius: yeah sure that's the name of a scientist I'll believe that

William "Lord Kelvin" Thompson: there's something really british going on here with that title but I suppose it checks out

Dan Fahrenheit: literally shut up

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

the green color is not chlorophyll. they cannot usually photosynthesize. but sometimes they can

[the-orc]

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

lorbish can photosynthesize

[maja-paja]

[fangorn-forest]

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

[paperjoshi]

on it boss

[paperjoshi]

trapped in the catacombs boss

[lindleland]

mario's personal information just got leaked onto the internet

[lindleland]

it was a dire dire dox

[neruomancer]

[supahbeefcakes]

with marcille’s necromancy and noelle’s ice magic, they could finally create tumblr’s greatest nemesis: the strong as fuck ice mummy