[pajamaben]

*picks up dog’s left paw* no wedding ring? interesting

[prokopetz]

Say what you will about magical shapeshifters being a lazy plot device, but I Have literally never seen an actor doing the “me pretending to be this other person pretending to be me” bit who wasn’t clearly having a great time.

[sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012]

not to sound like a protestant but the one bad joke all generations have in common is the normalization of alcohol dependency 

[sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012]

like i’m NOT about to start romanticize temperance i’m not against casual drinking or even getting absolutely blasted every once and a while…..but from forty somethings who meme about having to drink a whole bottle of wine to deal with their spouses to people my age who say “i can’t socialize without being at least a little buzzed” like that’s normal…it’s definitely….something to think about 

[spelldealer]

i know most of them are just literal animal combinations, but avatar has some of the best fantasy animal character designs i’ve ever seen

[spelldealer]

thinkin about turtle duck………..

[tchaikovskaya]

people who arent punctual freak me out im so stressed. what do you mean the event starts at 6 and you’ll pick me up at 5:50 even though I live 20 minutes from the venue? what do you mean being 10 minutes late is “no big deal”? what if there’s no parking and nowhere to sit? what then? i need to be there at 5:45 just to be sure and you’re like Oh Whatever Dude... ARE YOU OKAY

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[serpentking456]

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

[bransonreese]

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

[severepaperhideout-deactivated2]

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

[bransonreese]

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

[slangwang]

this post is transcendent

[aurora-gleam]

You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.

Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST

[bransonreese]

No, I’m thinking of sharks.

Source: I’m a superior marine biologist

[kakyoiniisms]

[hotvampireadjacent]

we live in a society

[still-love-alice]

Robert pattinson,next year trying to promote his new Batman film, after years of typecasting and skepticism, finally moving on:

Interviewer: -so regarding Stephanie Meyer’s new development to the twi- -

R:

[gummiebearz]

I’m sorry if u understand this

[popinloopy]

[danhumphrey]

i miss when personality quizzes didnt require so much brainpower like whatever happened to questions like “which biome would you rather live” where i would simply scroll until i saw forest. now i have to try to decipher long ass quotes about like love and shit? pass. i don’t have a brain

[2004montecarlo-ss-deactivated20]

[theperksofbeingareader]

I know exactly what this is about and I hate it

[glumshoe]

tumblr is fun ‘cause you can say “don’t litter” and people will extrapolate that to mean that you think parents should chose to starve their children so that they can afford gas money to drive to the nearest landfill instead of buying food to survive and you should be ashamed of yourself

[vegannerdgirl]

[teaboot]

ZOOS ARE NOT ANIMAL CRUELTY FACTORIES THEY ARE RESEARCH CENTERS, HOSPITALS, REHABILITATION CENTERS, ANIMAL RESCUES, SANCTUARIES, SCHOOLS, AND REPOPULATION PROGRAMS. DONT SAY “ZOOS” WHEN YOU *MEAN* “ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS, PRIVATE COLLECTIONS, CIRCUSES, AND POACHERS”

[admiralrainbow]

^

[sexycraisinthanos]

Zoos: Good

Seaworld: Bad

Aquariums: Good

A woman who keeps a tiger in her one-bedroom apartment in New York: Bad

[bearsister]

human beings are the funniest, if you gave a person a pile of alphabet magnets and two boxes labeled “even” and “odd” they’d start trying to sort the letters into the boxes immediately

[bearsister]

human brain sees arbitrary categories and goes apeshit

[iamhereforlaughs]

Animal Crossing is a very interesting game because it’s like…the antithesis of instant gratification. Want Blathers to bring his butt to your island? Well, you got to wait, travel takes time. Want those flowers to bloom? Water and wait, buddy. Like I’m frustrated but also like…what have I become that I can’t wait a day for something? So, I go about my day doing little things and explore. And I wait. And that’s ok because now, in this little island, I can breathe, you know? 

[hampop]

In juxtaposition, Stardew Valley is like: you have 50 seconds in a day and if you don’t make use of every moment you’re not going to make any money and you won’t be able to buy a barn in order to buy a cow in order to make milk in order to make cheese and oh god it’s 11:30pm I forgot to water the crops so I have to go out there and do it or I won’t make a profit so I do it and right as I get back to my front door it turns to 2am and I pass out and a Joja employee moves me the 2 inches into my house, steals my stuff, and charges me $50,000

[incorrectfiremblem]

Edelgard: do you think when the Flame Emperor offers his hand to the professor for the second time they'll take it?

Dorothea: who cares?

Edelgard: I DO.

[rainbowkarolina]

my professor said my assignment was “late” because it was due on friday.........like phil my dude last time I checked the concept of time is dead and days don’t exist anymore

[rainbowkarolina]

COME THRU PHIL!!!!