Certified Immortal

hi im kerry / 20/ bi and an actual dumbass / if we're mutuals please be my friend

[thestuffedalligator]

I used to think “soupçon” was a French word for crouton and I used it as the French word for crouton for a long time and nobody stopped me.

Soupçon actually means “suspicion” and the reason nobody called me out on this is because I would use the word to imply the idea of something sprinkled on top of something else ala croutons. If someone said, “A soupçon of homoeroticism,” I thought it meant “Someone sprinkled homoeroticism on this story like croutons on a delightful Caesar salad.”

I wrote multiple essays that used soupçon as a noun with this translation in mind and I got a degree and this haunts me.

There’s no point to this post, it’s just very important to me that you know that I can be quite stupid

[grimark]

did you see they made jane prentiss from the magnus archives real

this is the correct way to feel about having a wasp's nest in your house.

[grimark]

oh fuck you were not kidding

[jeffcross5000]

[jenjen4280]

This made me smile. Maybe you need a smile today too.

[lakevida]

guy who doesnt realize hes commanding a small army and thinks a lot of people are just going along with his bit

[veltroxx]

interesting how leadership can sometimes be unintentional yet influential.

[lakevida]

save it for linkedin brother

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You wake up one day and discover you've lost control over a random action or feeling!

Spin the wheel to find out what!

How bad is it?

Actually way better than before!

Its good

It's alright

It's annoying but I'll be fine

It's pretty bad

IM DEAD

worse than death

Nothing changes/results

Voting ended onAug 13

This idea was submitted by @dbnekonico!

[ca314159bara]

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

[iphigeniacomplex]

“our age of bronze is collapsing” is this beautiful random burst of monty python dialogue amidst the drudgery of nolan’s vision and i think it should win the first-ever oscar for best solitary line

[iphigeniacomplex]

[wringing my hands as i look out my window directly overlooking wall street, watching the sun rise on october 29, 1929] aw fuck it’s the great depression

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

[vulcanette-deactivated20260506]

[thekijs]

I'm sorry, is this... Is this implying there's no DYE in that rug? All raw wool in its natural colours? She fucking bred the sheep to get the colours she wanted over the course of ten years!? Holy shit.

Edit: this has gotten a huge amount of traction (fibrearts tumblr is a, uh, tight-knit community it seems!) so I am adding this note to state that I checked Lola Cody's website and can confirm: There is no dye in her work. She uses exclusively hand-spun Churro wool sheared from her home-raised sheep flock. It's all natural colours!

[reachperfection]

[estrogenesis-evangelion]

if you've never been clinically depressed, this is the short version

[best-of-memes]

Rich people showers

[officialkeikoandgilly]

[labyrinth-runner]

reblogging for that gif

[immenseheadaches]

i’m sorry i couldn’t help myself 

[immenseheadaches]

Happy ten year anniversary to the post that wrecked my notifs forever 👌

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

"dni if you engage with irredeemable media! dni to kill a mockingbird stans" ok well CLEARLY you have never read to kill a mockingbird if you think it's irredeemable media and also having a book that was published in 1960 on your dni stan list is kinda ridiculous actually

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

i literally do not think any of you have ever read a book published before the 2000s before in your entire life

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

#'Dni if you've read to kill a mockingbird' what's is this the Florida banned books list #Who r u Ron DeSantis

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

#can somwone pleasw provide context to whatever the fuck op is referring to

[s-a-blotsky]

You really buried the lede by only mentioning To Kill a Mockingbird

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Undertale?? THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS???

[what-even-is-thiss]

The amount of slavery in Ancient Rome was legitimately terrifying tbh

[what-even-is-thiss]

Y’all know that I’m into ancient Roman history and I do a lot of research on it but even though I should be used to it by now sometimes I read an anecdote about how an individual slave was treated and I’m hit with the realization that like a third of the population was living like that and I just need to put my head in my hands for a second

[what-even-is-thiss]

Emperor Hadrian randomly stabbed a slave in the eye in a fit of rage and he was supposedly unusually sympathetic to slaves.

There’s other instances of people randomly punching slaves that they didn’t even know because they got in their way or something. This was just normal behavior.

And slaves didn’t rebel en masse because if even one slave committed an act of violent rebellion it was common practice to kill every slave and former slave in the household.

People only took notice for posterity when these mass executions got into the hundreds of people. One of the few recorded for the history books is of over 400 people being killed because one guy stabbed his enslaver.

Like how many people throughout history were beaten to death because some rich asshole was angry and there was no legal or social consequences for doing so? We don’t know.

[what-even-is-thiss]

When you study ancient history you’re reminded that slavery has never once been kind or justified. It just takes on different forms of evil in every time and place that it infects.

[explorerrowan]

I get so annoyed with the folks that are like "but Roman slavery wasn't the chattel slavery of the American South, it wasn't generational like that." First off, there was absolutely a generational slavery system in Rome, and second, that doesn't really make it better! That was literally the excuse the Romans themselves used to justify how much better they were than their "barbarian" neighbours, that they kept slaves but did it "fairly" such that they weren't destined to slavery forever, just until they bought themselves out of it.

Slavery is slavery, and while there are different ways for it to be done, it's ALWAYS bad.

[machinesonmute-deactivated20210]

the temptation every time there’s heavy rainfall to just go out on the street and

[vangogh-vanhoe]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

What's stopping you? It's not like anyone else can feel it for you

[pjackk]

Vodka & benadryl got me feeling like a oyster

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[thundercrackfic]

This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.

The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human

[toothpaste-footlocker]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

[panpteryx]

[thestanconfessions]

[thestateonmtv]

the nature of thestanconfessions ensures that geniuses like this go uncredited and that’s one of history’s greatest tragedies

[teathattast]