Hey guys, it's been a while.
Normally I don't update much on my real life here, but I figured it would be right to say this up-front.
Last week, on Halloween night, my father passed away.
He was a great man. Great sense of humor, loved extreme sports, skydiving in particular but also rock climbing and boxing, before it wrecked his body and forced him to have a more tame set of hobbies, got me into video games. We bonded a ton over the Tron series in particular. Tron 2.0 was the thing we had the most father-daughter bonding time over, where I'd backseat game him (since I was too scared of the bad guys to play the game, myself, at that age) to use the purple weapons because they were my favorite color or equip the thing that shows all the enemy and NPC names, and he'd sometimes entertain me for five minutes before switching back to his preferred setup, and I'm thankful he put up with me on that.
He was also a stay-at-home dad while my mom was the breadwinner, so not only did he drive me to and from school every day and was a great source of support for rough times, especially in middle school, but we went on a lot of fun after-school adventures together as well. Sometimes to museums, sometimes to theme parks (I always tried to vicariously live through my parents by getting them to go on roller coasters I was too scared to ride (sorry, Mom and Pop...), and there was one roller coaster I never could get him to ride, and eventually I'd end up riding it because my friend went there for her birthday and said it was her favorite ride...only to realize last minute she never went on it before but it was too late to back out, now. Karma.), sometimes on hikes, sometimes just on errands. I'll never forget when we went to a more low-key "local wildlife zoo" of sorts where there was a small section for kids to play in, and he'd get a duck puppet and say in the most perfect Donald Duck voice "I'm Mr. Quack", and I'd stuff plastic bugs in that duck's mouth and he'd make the best duck munching noises. He loved the cartoon Chowder and Schnitzel was his favorite. He adored dogs, more than any person I know. God even gave him a vision once of an exact place to go to, and when he got there, he found this medium-sized stray black dog, opened the car door, and the poor thing jumped right in, and when he got home, got a nice tick bath, and that was Woody, the first dog I knew or really remembered. He was a man of strong faith as well, and I know I don't talk about my religious life much on this blog, either, but being a kid from a marriage between a Protestant and a Catholic taught me so much, and I think even helped inspire how my thesis as a Theology major is going to be in regards to the importance of solidarity between Abrahamics, especially in a time where many may feel more divided than ever with current events being as they are.
He always made sure I got to go on walks and eat lunch when I switched from standard to homeschool (context, I had to switch to homeschooling for mental health reasons). Even when it was summer and I'd gripe and moan about how hot and tired I was, he'd make sure I got my exercise, and even took me to some really cool off-beat paths, sometimes by a creek or sometimes to a special garden or even just around the block to see places I hadn't before. He also had a deep love of old sci-fi movies, his favorite movie was The Day the Earth Stood Still, which we'd watch for his birthday every year, and for a while I'd make us some ramen noodles while we watched either MST3K (which he introduced me to, my first episode was Manhunt in Space) or otherwise old b-movies that MST3K missed. We also would mute the TV and do silly abridged fandubs/lipsyncs of movies that my Mom deemed too scary for the house. He also just seemed to know everybody, or at least someone for any occasion. I can't count how many times in the rare occasions where he couldn't fix a car or computer, he knew a guy who could.
He was often dry and blunt but he was also very silly, dancing around and putting on voices. Our bond was more on the strong and silent side, we often kept to ourselves as introverted nerds, and we bonded more through activities than anything else. Most of all, he was a charitable man. He worked for a food ministry for many, many years, and when it shut down due to a lack of funds, he made sure that the food the grocery store gave us would not go to waste, and would take it to whatever other charity needed food. He taught me to be a good person, which is one of the most important lessons of all.
When I was in my late teens, he was diagnosed with having Alzheimer's disease. It's honestly a brutal disease that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, but seeing someone you love go through it is agonizing, but all the more agonizing for them to slowly and steadily get sicker and sicker, losing more and more memories, getting quieter and quieter, walking slower and slower, starting to not act like themselves. Mom was so selfless, took such good care of him even when the sickness got to the point where confusion gave way to bouts of lashing out. My aunt when visiting a few days ago even said that Pop only lasted as long as he did due to the care he received, that most Alzheimer's sufferers only last a few years after diagnosis rather than the whole six to eight he did, and as such we shouldn't blame ourselves for what happened to him. So rarely was what he said at that point comprehensible, but I'll never forget when we visited him at a rehabilitation center (he took a bad fall and needed to relearn how to walk), one of the last times we saw him, we hugged him goodbye before going home and he said "I love y'all so much."
He passed away a few days later from cardiac arrest.
I apologize for dropping such heavy news on you guys, but I wanted to share just a fraction of his stories, and update you on the situation. It's been very hard, and even while half of me came to terms with Alzheimer's and the inevitability of his passing a long time ago, another part hasn't. We still have a lot of regrets, never getting him to walk again, not getting him home to see the dog one last time, not getting him to see how beautiful the trees look right now, it hurts a lot. People have been beyond kind with their condolences already, family and friends and neighbors, and it has helped tremendously. Me and Mom, it's really hard on us, but we'll be alright. We'll keep living for him. Pop loved Halloween, too, so we'll try to use the holiday as a reason to celebrate his life rather than hate it for being the day he died. We'll go to Mass in the morning and play his favorite alien movies at night. The Day the Earth Stood Still, Forbidden Planet, Invaders from Mars, whatever else we can think of.
Thank you for reading. Keep us in your prayers or otherwise in your thoughts please. My mother especially. It's been the hardest on her.
God bless you, and have a good one.
I loved him so much. And I love y'all so much.
