Lolzor

Ashlyn | she/her | 27 | little of this, little of that, mostly safe for work. I'll try to tag anything as otherwise.

[galaxywarp]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[phantomrose96]

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

[loki-zen]

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

[superragaone11]

can't leave this in there

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from wormOfWisdom reading: the wise man at the nudist beach covers not his dick but his face /End ID]

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

What a lovely little post you have here! *Drinks up its wordjuice to add it to my lexicon like some form of Vernacula*

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

*Sinks my teeth into your vocabillaries*

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[catstrat]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[uniformedwater]

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

[apenitentialprayer]

Am walking through Manhattan, there's a woman who can't be more than 25 in a big fur coat, walking with a cane, angrily saying into her headpiece "I want them them destroyed," I feel like an extra in a movie

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

realized i have started texting like mr darcy

[plasmalogical]

[flanbolt]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[headspace-hotel]

They sting. I got ouched by one a couple days ago. The vest is for your protection.

[headspace-hotel]

@phillipfancypants

[hetaari-deactivated20230325]

Mama Mia it’s-a Wednesday

[hetaari-deactivated20230325]

WRONG FUCKING IMAGE

[its-your-mind]

HAPPY MAMA MIA ITS-A WEDNESDAY WRONG FUCKING IMAGE WEDNESDAY

[concoctionboy]

I have reblogged this post on previous Wednesdays without adding anything to it, but I figured to respect the artist it might be a good idea to add a link to the source of the photo.

Anyway, Happy Mama Mia It's-A Wednesday Wrong Fucking Image Wednesday once again.

[todaysbird]

fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d

[todaysbird]

I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty

[todaysbird]

I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.

[fantasticait]

Love, love, love reading more proof that everyone should encourage the children in their lives to write to elected officials--it teaches them about citizenship and can also be very funny.

When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.

Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.

See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.

So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:

Dear President Obama, I am writing about the environment. I am sad that the Great Barrier Reef is hurt. Also the Amazon Rainforest. Can you help? PLEASE DON'T WRITE BACK TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DOG AGAIN. WE ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT BO. WE COMPLETED THE MAZE AND COLORED HIM IN. It is good that you love your pet a lot. But try to remember the environment. It is also important.

[ishipallthings]

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[animentality]

[ralfmaximus]

Apparently, Taylor Farms was discovered to be the source of the contamination due to meticulous record keeping by Taco Bell's internal distribution system.

Not the FDA, but Taco Bell.

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

[speedlimit15]

Alright i'll never complain about anything my neighbors do ever again

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.