[nat-20s]

"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess

[sleepy-frog-lady]

I would be so powerful if even one of my executives functioned. Just. Even a single one of them. Please. Please .

[joshpeck]

can you believe we're all still here

[percephany]

Aren’t we ok like really old now

[rabbiteclair]

you know when somebody says this that they mean either a short amount of time, a long amount of time, or maybe just neither

[why-bless-your-heart]

(via @awesomebutunpractical)

[cannibalchicken]

[poetrylesbian]

I’m glad my mom died

i forgot i asked for book recommendations for a moment and was like jesus christ im not qualified for this

[pisshandkerchief]

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

[theadhdgoblin]

[sonics-left-shoe]

[2345678ueryg9fv7rehufwvurfeg]

even better

[ruckuscauser]

[chillgamesh-the-swing]

[prokopetz]

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

[fsthhdwefg-deactivated20180515]

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation

[lowkey-revolutionary-raccoon]

Some mammoth: *chilling, eating grass, mammothing*

Cavedude: *power walks towards them*

Mammoth: oh sIHT

[krwzprtt]

cat : haha you can’t outrun me

human:

[real-horse-facts]

horses made me transgender

[real-horse-facts]

Story time to explain this

-there’s a horse where I work named Lucy who HATES men

-like “bite your face off” levels of hate

-enter me, who’s been having gender thoughts but not really realizing what that means

-I’d been avoiding Lucy because I quite like having my face not bitten off thank you

-Then one day I forget that she hates men and I go into her stall with her to clean out the poo

-She Doesent Hate me but I don’t think anything about it because I don’t remember that she’s sexist

-Someone walks by and comments on how she never lets any men in there

-“ha ha weird”

-internally I’m screaming “holy shit holy shit holy shit”

-thoughts that I’ve been having suddenly start to make sense

and that’s how I realized I was a girl

[professorsparklepants]

#afbh #assigned female by horse (via @chucktaylorupset)

[americachavez]

can’t wait to watch timothée chalamet star in the charlie and the chocolate factory prequel titled WONKA as he finds an indigenous population and contracts them to lifelong servitude in his manufacturing plant where there are no safety regulations or government oversight

[whitepeopletwitter]

We became spoiled

[omghotmemes]

a true work of art from Disney

[dragonkyngreborn]

[omghotmemes]

The consequence of corporate greed

[werewolfinsheepsclothing]

Ravonna: "On the authority of the Timekeepers I hereby arrest you for crimes against the sacred timeline."

Sylvie:

[tastefullyoffensive]

...until next year