The misguided ramblings of a renaissance mind. . . or something of that caliber. })i({

[moss-wizard]

What a year this week has been.

[we-dont-matteratall]

It’s Monday.

[jacuwi]

It sure as hell is.

[actualaster]

The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

anyone: we should improve society somewhat

veterans: you dont get to complain about anything until youve committed war crimes like i have

[oumaimas]

lately there have been too many days like in a row

[iameverysparklywoman]

also girls who dress vintage all of the time and just walk around with victory rolls in are a million times braver than fashion bloggers, beauty youtubers, fashion nova brand ambassadors, cosplayers, furries, and straight couples who walk each other like dogs in the mall 

[thecommonchick]

Us: Can we get 3 way FaceTime & better quality charging cables ? 

Apple: 

[justbadpuns]

Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers..

[isnt]

follow @isnt​ for more memes

[spudsexuall]

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

[year9000ovvvhellfireandratbites]

how do i get the moon to notice me back

[horreurscopes]

there is literally no logical, emotional, aesthetic, philosophical, moral, or sexy reason for the sun to be gone at 4.30 pm 

[another-exclus]

Vampires can come out earlier

[daddys-blunt-little-instrument]

One sexy reason

[bbuggs]

mermaids with starfish covering their boobs is a great concept until you like.. remember what starfish are i mean ma’am theres an animal on your titties 

[bbuggs]

[bbuggs]

[unyanizedcatboys]

This post is a religious experience

[palenoface]

this post gave me whiplash three times

[ayrenn]

how do you think incels feel when they come to this website and see women wanting to fuck junkrat and pennywise but not them?

[saundering-deactivated20180828]

I read this in a very accusatory tone

[ayrenn]

honestly this is my favourite addition to this post bc if you read it as being accusatory it becomes hilarious

[albedobeheading]

SLUR?????

[grimm-jimm]

My man said “boomer” with the hard “R”.

[deathlessmax]

Sup, my Booma

[show-the-show]

[geekandmisandry]

They been calling themselves that for 50 years but now it is a problem? Ok boomer.

[t0mies-b0dy]

S L U R?????

[zodiacgem]

Where can i find these shirts??

[saturdaynight-live]

I found some here!

[acetheticallynice]

If you really wanna get a sense of just how fucking big blue whales really are, then consider the fact that the dolphins swimming in front of this whale are over two metres long

[b-atiful]

While 100% a species of dolphin i want to point out those are ORCAS. if anyone got confused for a second like i did. Those are fucking orcas. Holy shit that is a giant fucking whale.

[shmegel]

Each orca is over 6.5 feet long, Americans.

[bunjywunjy]

guys, just, no. these are likely pacific whitesided dolphins, a criminally adorable cetacean found in the North Pacific that does indeed average at around 2.3-2.5 meters long.

now THIS is an orca, pictured here in the act of headbutt-murdering a common dolphin right into fucking oblivion. (common dolphins are about the same size as the pacific whitesided dolphin, for scale.)

that’s right, orcas max out at an astonishing 25 feet long, or well over 7 meters. that’s almost a quarter as long as that blue whale, and is just generally way too fucking big to deal with today when you remember that we’re talking about an apex predator the size of a minibus. they’re simply too big to be mistaken for anything else in the ocean!

orcas eat a wide variety of foods depending on their location, from herring to that really unfortunate common dolphin up there (rip.) if I really wanted to give the lowdown on them I’d be here all day, but I’ll tell you that orcas are also the only known predator to hunt and kill blue whales. so lets just be glad it’s only the dolphins in that first pic!

[bunjywunjy]

also here’s a cheerful reminder that the evolutionary rise of the Orca mysteriously coincided perfectly with the decline and extinction of Megalodon! 

coincidence, I’m sure. have a good night, everybody!

[ayalaatreides]

The Orca arriving in the world’s oceans, seeing the Megalodon: “I’m about to end this man’s whole career”

[deejay]

Wait for it..

[mr-quiyst]

I don’t care if you’ve already seen this on your dash. See it again.

[draw-a-sliver-of-a-moon]

THAT LITTLE FISTBUMP AT THE END HAS ME CRYING

[yaboywillyshakes]

why say "ok boomer" when you could say "ok bootlicker" and target capitalist shills of all ages with a single phrase

[puppy95]

My kink: not having to set alarm for the next morning