pha5ed

mcyt || they/them ❕WARNING :: this blog has dark content❕

[pha5ed]

Navigation ! ꒱°°

req :: open

anything acc :: @phas3d

tags ｡˚ ೃ࿔₊•

rules ｡˚ ೃ࿔₊•

anons ｡˚ ೃ࿔₊•

master ｡˚ ೃ࿔₊•

please DONT tag my dark content or smut with fluff tags!!! read here to understand more

Rest in peace Technoblade, my idol and my muse. <3

[kurogxrix]

me when the READER in the X READER has a name:

like babe the fic ate but i do NOT look like an Aurora🙁

[pha5ed]

hi hi. love your lifesteal hcs they're so nice!! i feel like they always fit really well and are entertaining. plus your word choice is always baller and it just gives The Good Vibes:tm:. if you dont mind me asking, i was wondering if you'd ever write c!lifesteal? like the characters themselves as opposed to the ccs? thank youuu: 3 <3

Omg hiiii :D Yes I do! But I haven’t fully caught up with all the seasons. Only season 4 and 5. I know a bitttt of season 3 but that’s really all 😭

Id be so down to write their c! Versions! If u guys have any lists/videos that explain the lore for me I’d watch it asap <333

[pha5ed]

Situationship || LifeSteal SMP

type :: mostly angst, small fluff

tw/cw :: none

members :: parrot, spoke

Parrot

Best friends that like each other

You two have been best friends for literal ages

The second you met you were inseparable

Everything you did, you guys did together

If one of you was seen without the other, people would ask “Where’s Parrot?” “Where’s Y/N?”

You would constantly get asked if you’re dating or not

Parrot and you would awkwardly laugh it off and say that you’re just friends and nothing more

But you always hoped that he would admit that he liked you too

Both of you knew each other so well that you already knew that a romantic relationship wasn’t the right move at the moment

Going to college, doing YouTube, family issues, and all of that was in the way of a possible relationship

But even though you knew a relationship would be hard to maintain, why not do it?

The tension between you two was growing more and more as you both got older

And also, you were slowly getting hurt from this tension

Seeing Parrot talk to other people made your heart twist in a way you didn’t know was possible

Your other friends would make comments saying things like, “If you wont take him, I will”

You’ve never felt a more gut-wrenching feeling than hearing that sentence leave your friend’s lips

Telling your friend she can’t have him would make you seem possessive and clingy

But telling your friend yes meant risking the chance of losing your best friend and crush

You thought you were completely alone and that it was a one sided relationship

But Parrot thinks the same exact thing

Every time he saw you with another guy talking, he’d instantly get the urge to drag you away

Although it was cocky to think, Parrot knew that no one would be able to compare to the chemistry you two have

He wants to confess so badly, to finally release all of the pent up emotions he feels

But he’s terrified of the idea of you rejecting him

He would never want to lose you as a friend, you were one of the best people in his life

One day, he will get the balls to confess

But right now, you two are basically dating but without a title or promised commitment

But you both know you’ll stay committed to each other :)

Spoke

Exes that are still friends

The idea of having beef with someone doesn’t sit right with Spoke

Your relationship didn’t end for awful reasons, just a lot of differences and outside issues

Of course, you two took space from each other after the break up

But randomly, Spoke sent you a message saying he wants to be friends and drop the awkwardness

You two shared the same friend group so your break up kinda made the group a bit rocky

He made it clear he doesn’t expect any forgiveness, kindness, or even a friendship but just enough courtesy to not be awkward with your friend group

You agree to what he said and the group slowly repairs itself

But as the group fixes itself and got closer, so did you and Spoke

At first you didn’t want to admit it, but you couldn’t help but fall for him all over again

He always made you cry from laughing so hard

Whenever you were a dollar or two short for something, he’d always pay the rest for you

He’d always save you a seat next to him whenever it was crowded

And if it was too crowded, he’d always give you his seat

You guys went from no contact to group hang outs to him walking you home

You’re not sure how he did it, but he snuck himself back into your life

He did everything he used to do when you two were dating, except without any physical affection

And you didn’t want to say it, but you missed the hugs, kisses, everything

How could he act like this was all so normal when he’s literally saying goodbye to your parents and your little siblings?

It got to the point where you needed to distance yourself from him or else you would fall too hard

You love Spoke, he was one of the kindest and funniest people you’ve ever met

But you were scared that liking him again meant that your friendship would be over

You missed him so much while you two went no contact, you can’t imagine having to relive that

So you both stick with this relationship, where you both act like you’re dating except with no title

It confuses the fuck out of the friend group but they accept it

Maybe one day you’ll date again or maybe you’ll realize it’s not the right time for you too

[pha5ed]

You Play a Sport || LifeSteal Headcannons

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

members :: clown, mapicc, parrot

note :: never played basketball or tennis but i have a lot of friends who do so im relying on what they told me TT

Clown

Everyone has played basketball lightly growing up so when you said you play basketball he went “Oh cool”

But when you say you’re on your school’s varsity team and playing club he knows you’re deep in

Clown isn’t a huge sports guy but he knows clubs are expensive as fuck and far 99% of the time

He’s really curious and asks a lot of questions

When he hears you’re spending roughly $1,000 alone on the club he feels his wallet cry

Then you mention how expensive shoes, jerseys, and gas is and his wallet literally crumbles

He could never imagine spending that much on a sport

What’s even crazier was when you admitted you didn’t plan to play on a WBNA/NBA level

You said you just wanted to play during college and most likely go to open gyms every once in a while

Bro was so shocked and was about to doubt your spending habits

But when you mention how it’s not too different from buying skins, emotes, and games,,,, he gets really quiet

He’d love to try playing with you once or twice

He’ll probably make a gamble of some kind

“If I get 10 points you owe me $20”

And then you whoop his ass

“Double or nothing”

Now you doubt his spending habits…

He’s not really big into shoes and stuff but he likes looking at them with you

When you start sliding the shoes across the floor he’s so confused????

Why are you ruining shoes in the store???? Aren’t you embarrassed???

But then you explain it’s to test the grip of the shoes he goes “ohhhh”

He’s so clueless about shoes it’s so funny

“What about these?” And he holds up a pair of Jordans 1…

If you let him try on a pair of basketball shoes he instantly gets the hype

He might even buy himself a pair

But he’ll never use them for actual basketball, just going out

When he wears his new basketball shoes outside you can see allll of the sports player cringe

Literally 3 people come up to him and go “bro you forgot to take your court shoes off”

Mapicc

When you said you play volleyball he always thought you were just joking

No way a loser who plays Minecraft all days and streams could be on the volleyball team

Especially since practices and games can last until 9pm sometimes

But when you send him clips of you playing, he’s shocked

He always thought volleyball kids were super cool, popular, outgoing, drinkers, smokers, etc

And Mapicc thinks you’re the exact opposite LOL

He actually admires the grind a lot

He likes going to gym and plays basketball every now and then

The football coaches at his school always asked him to join but he didn’t really like the sport that much

He def asks questions about your games and rules and stuff

Probs says cocky stuff like “I could do that”

If you ever meet in person and try to make him dive, spike, or even server he’ll definitely suck

Once he actually tries it, it appreciates the sport a lot more

If he goes to any of your games he’s definitely SCREAMINGGG

Shouting, whistling, clapping, stomping, everything

Probably provokes the opposing team

Definitely argues back with the ref even though he’s not a player and not from your school

He doesn’t understand the uniform difference between the girls and boys though

“If you dive in booty shorts wouldn’t it hurt your thighs???”

When you say it does hurt your thighs sometimes he’s even more confused

“Then don’t wear it????”

But he doesn’t understand that it’s just the culture of volleyball at this point

He lovesss looking at players volleyball shoes

He’s tempted to join volleyball just so he can get a new pair of shoes

But when he finds out most volleyball players don’t actually buy volleyball shoes but instead buy basketball shoes he’s a little confused

“Why not buy volleyball shoes???”

And then you have to explain how a majority of volleyball shoes kinda suck ass and how basketball shoes always have extreme grip

And he’s like “???Why don’t they make volleyball shoes with more grip???”

He helps you realize how dumb volleyball culture is sometimes…

Parrot

When he finds out you also play tennis he gets so competitive

He LOVES tennis with his whole heart man

Asks what your schools name is and what division you’re in and your rank and your average win rate and and and

You two bond over tennis constantly

He can finally send someone the tennis memes he gets on his feed

If you’re worse than him, he’s always giving you tips and and even offers to train you if ever meet irl

But if you’re better than him, oh boy, he’s gonna train so hard

He definitely sends you clips of him playing and asks you to rate it

He’ll ask for clips of you playing as well and he might or might not make fun of your form

Whenever he wins a match he’ll take a picture and send it to you ASAP

If he loses,,,, he pretends he never even went to the game

One time he broke his racket and he let you pick the color

You picked an ugly ahh puke color but he laughed it off and actually bought it

If you do meet irl, you guys are INSTANTLY playing tennis

No hugs no greeting, he comes to the airport with a tennis ball and racket in hand

If he wins, he will make fun of you every day and will constantly brag to you

But if he loses, he deflects and constantly blames random stuff

“The sun was in my eye” It was sunset and cloudy

“I’ve never been in this country so my racket’s not used to it” What?????

Definitely makes you redo your serve at least like 5 times just to make you angry

[pha5ed]

STOPPP OLIVIAS NEW ALBUM GIVES ME SO MUCH INSPO ISTG

[pha5ed]

its 🦝 anon, just dropping by to say i hope u are doing well over ur hiatus :)

Omg I read all of your replies :”)) you genuinely make me want to tear up. Thank you to everyone who ever checked up on me during my hiatus :)

I no longer write for DSMP but I do write for LifeSteal now :) I hope you guys are cool with that. If not, that’s fine but I highly recommend watching LifeSteal!!

Anyways love you all so so much <333

[pha5ed]

Crushing on You || LifeSteal Headcannons

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

members :: mapicc, parrot, zam, spoke, vitalasy

Mapicc

In denial about his crush for super long, might never admit to it

Anyone who accuses him of liking you instantly gets their base blown up

He tries super hard to seem cool in-front of you but he’s a natural loser

One time he tried to flex his Fortnite skills on you… That’s the best and only rizz he got

Anytime you’re in a call with him, he starts try-harding at everything, pvp, building, anything

The entire server calls him out for this but just says he’s naturally good

If you two ever end up in a call alone, expect a lot of painful attempts of flirting

“Haha I bet you’re so short in person”

Definitely insults you a shit ton 24/7

You don’t know that he’s joking and start to think he actually hates you at one point

Bro will say the most foul stuff to you but if you dare say one thing back he either attempts to insult you back or leave the call and cry

Tries so HARD to get you to do couple stuff with him without actually saying

“Wow these two profile pics are so cute… I wish I had someone to match with me…”

If you do match with him, he screenshots it and smiles to sleep

“Hey I’m getting some necklaces and there’s a buy one get one free deal… do you want one?”

If you accept, he’ll never take the necklace off and if he sees you wearing he’ll try to sneakily take a pic of you wearing it

He’s not the type to confess online, he’ll definitely wait till VidCon or TwitchCon to confess to you in person

During his confession he’s super scared and nervous

His palms get sweaty and you can see his pit stains

When he does confess, it’s really sweet and simple

He thinks long speeches about emotions are too sappy and uncool

When you say yes he’s so happy, so so so happy

Definitely a great bf :)

Parrot

He doesn’t fall for anyone super fast, you two were definitely besties before he started liking you

When he realizes he likes you, he’s not sure what to do with himself

He’s not a flirty type at all

He might projectile vomit if he has to flirt

Does his best to research what to do and how to get you to like him back

Any time you’re in call he’ll ask stiff ass questions just to learn more about you

“Uh… Okay weird question but how many creases are on your neck?”

After you answer any question, he write it down. Not on a google doc but on PAPER

You can hear his nerdy ass writing with his old wooden pencil

He only wants to confess in person, hates the idea of an online confession

When you meet irl, he uses all of the data he collected to look like the perfect guy for you

But in reality, you already liked him so this made no difference

When he does confess to you, it’s super sweet and kinda cliche

Gives you flowers and chocolate, then gives the most simple yet sincere confession he can muster

Of course you accept :) And oh my god he’s so happy

He definitely rants about you on Parrot Shorts 24/7

Zam

Doesn’t know he likes you but he definitelyyy acts a lil different around you

He stills acts like himself but you get special treatment

Zam’s history of betraying people doesn’t apply to you, he can’t bring himself to do that

You guys call all the time but neither of you notice how your calls have gone a platonic tone to romantic tone

The shift was so subtle and slow

It’s like you guys automatically started acting like a married couple

One day, Pangi accidentally introduces you as Zam’s gf/bf and it suddenly clicks in his head

After Pangi says that he finally realizes that he likes you!!!

Doesn’t know what to do and decides to ask Pangi for advice

Pangi’s advice is basic, “just be yourself, be nicer, blah blah blah”

Zam listens to the advice but now he’s super stiff and uptight

You notice it and think that he’s mad at you

He quickly denies this and starts over explaining everything that he’s thinking

“- And then when Pangi said you were my gf/bf it suddenly clicked and I was like ohmygosh I like (y/n) that’s so crazy I mean how could I not but- . . . ”

Accidentally confesses

You gotta say yes, poor guy is so stressed out over it

Once you say yes, he starts cheering and asking “Really? Like for real?”

Shows you off to his close friends but doesn’t want your relationship to be toooo public cause of weird fans

Spoke

There’s not a single though behind those eyes

This man doesn’t know he likes you and will never confess

You’ve been best friends for agesss, at least 3+ years

Everything between you feels so natural and it’s almost like you grew up with each other

Everyone always asks if he likes you or vice versa and he always goes “Nahhh!”

But secretly, you and Spoke made a pact to get married at 30 if you’re both single

Everyone ships you together and he just laughs it off and says “Ha!! That’s so dumb” while your both on your daily 14 hour call with each other

When you meet in person he’s surprisingly touchy, but you don’t mind

But, when he sees the other members start to be friendly and touchy with you he goes : 🤨 that’s my job 😡

Starts to get protective and jealous over you and isn’t sure why

One day you get pissed off at him for ruining your conversation with someone and you angrily ask him, “Why do you care who I talk to?! Do you like me or something?!”

And both of you go . . .

The gears in his heads finally start working but they stop after like 2 seconds and he goes “Well duh we’re best friends!”

You cut him off by confessing your love for him

Bro straight up goes “ :O whaaaat no way”

He accepts happily and nothing changes between you two since you were basically already dating

Vitalasy

Your videos always so super well and they’re kinda similar to Vitalasy

He asks if you want to collab and you agree

While recording and plotting for your video, you two hit it off super well

At first he treats you like any normal friend but once the call ends he gets all giddy

Tries to snap himself out of it but he can’t stop smiling

Aww shoot… he likes you

He doesn’t want to seem desperate, how could he only know you for like 6 hours and instantly like you

Starts day dreaming about your future together and what house you’d have and-

No stop it! It’s too soon!!!

Decides the only way to combat these feelings, is by being the biggest jerk alive to you

Starts playfully bullying you and teasing you all the time

But his insults are so weak that you can instantly tell he doesn’t mean a word he says

He can’t help but always ask to call you, play games, and plot more videos

You two stream together all the time to the point where everyone’s surprised if he does a solo stream

Surprising has okay-ish rizz and is pretty smooth at times

One night, you two are calling like always and he’s about to sleep

Right before he sleeps he says “I love you”, making you get flustered from it and say “what???”

“I love you, you know that already” He says again

He instantly knocks out and the next morning he sees you’re still on call

When you wake up too, you ask him about it and he’s shocked at his own rizz

“Oh sorry for saying that, that’s so weird bruh I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-”

But then you confess too :)

After that, he’s shocked but confesses to you in a long ass ramble

Now you’re dating and literally no one is surprised

Twitter goes crazyyyyy about you two tho

[pha5ed]

I am absolutely devastated. I’m still crying and remembering him. Technoblade helped us all and was such an amazing person. He made the whole community smile and laugh. It’s not fair at all. He was taken away too soon.

Although he was “just a youtuber”, he saved me. He helped me get through the worst time in my life. He’s my idol and was my only comfort from the world.

TW below // eat#ng d#sorder, cal#ries, s#lf h#rm, de#th, s#icide

During quarantine I was going through the worst period of my life. I just got rejected from the girl Ive liked for 3 years and found out I was just being led on for a confidence boost. I hated myself, I didn’t think I was good enough.

I started starving myself to look better for her. Eating only 500 calories a day. Working out everyday, almost fainting constantly. I lost an unhealthy amount of weight in such a short time. I was crying myself to sleep, thinking of self harm, hurting others, and so much more.

My first ever dog died.

And then my uncle died.

My parents were fighting more and more.

I haven’t seen my mom in almost 3 months.

I was forced to babysit and work even though my body didn’t have enough energy.

My family was scrapping for money.

I lost all of friends.

I was on the brink of going through with my plan.

But I didn’t.

And for one of the stupidest sounding reasons ever:

I would miss Technoblade’s video.

Techno made me want to come home from my daily walk instead of running away. Techno made me laugh when there was nothing to be laughing about. Techno made me happy, even for those short 30 minutes, he made me the happiest I’ve been in a while.

He helped me and doesn’t even know it. He saved me from so many horrible thoughts. He was the only thing that kept me going.

Technoblade is an amazing person. The best of them all. I hope he rest easy and I hope he’s having the time of his life in heaven.

I miss you, I love you, and I hope you come back in another form and fulfill your legacy again. I love you, Techno.

[yusyed]

Respond to this ask with what's currently on your mind right now, and then tag 5 ppl to see what they're thinking of too

I’m thinking of sad Thai commercials right now?

@cascadingfloralwaterfall @theboxfort @soapycocacola @saintsugoi @kirstenonic05

What about you guys?

[i-think-i-can-speak-here]

@ivystwobridges thanks for the tag and yeah, i'd be skeptical too lmao

(sorry for removing the rbs, the post was a bit too long)

I'm thinking about my college's music event that happened today, I was part of one of the performances and I'm so proud of all of us!

No pressure tags: @moyadorogayas @jxmesfarrow @revvs-trash @bookishperfection @quillsink

[bookishperfection]

Thanks for the tag!

Congratulations on the performance, which I am sure was AMAZING!!

I'm thinking about my practice test tomorrow and how I've just given up on it lmao

Tagging, no pressure: @writeordie-4 @nora-holleran @ddepressedbookworm @imapparentlycoolandfriendly @katesprydes

[lola-pleasestopsayingimalesbian]

Thank you for the tag Zora! <3

Haha, good luck on your test then!

I'm currently thinking about getting up and writing and how I don't want to

@life-through-the-eyes-of @totalbookmaniac @wagnerthedragon @myangelbach @shadowhunting-hooligans

[tomscompassrose]

ty for the tag bestie! <33

and omg mood—

I am thinking about how i need to talk the other head of my school's newspaper club so we can publish our thingy by this friday and how i really don't want to talk to her anti-social? me? never ✌

@gabtapia @dark-artifices-only @thelastfunctioningbraincell @nnazyalensky @noah-herondale-lightwood

@ anyone!

[dark-artifices-only]

thx for the tag!! 💞

sdskjk i hope it went well! <3

thinking about how i should be paying attention to class-

tagging @lightwood-di-angelo-hargreeves @the-ethereal-aura @they-ca-llme-princess @sanibond @mitzwinchester @annajanereallylovesbooks @quiteliterallyinthis @blackxstairs @starlight-in-my-eyes @julemmaes @kithairondial @starrycatlover @ anyone else! <3

[starrycatlover]

Ty for tagging me al :))

I'm thinking about how I need to start studying lol

@emotionally-explosive @life-gave-me-oranges @idiotacadamia @mydogisgaytoo (no pressure!)

[nothings-fair-deactivated202201]

ty for tagging me starry!

I'm thinking about the song Vincent by Don McLean 😅

@when-i-was-older @the-devils-feather @acciorxses @cluelesspotayto @flowerofthesundrop (no pressure tho!)

[poofy-pile-deactivated20220313]

ty for the tag! <3

thinking about the movie encanto that i just watched :)

@rikshaw-girl @theultracharmingladynoire @winchesterwitch07 @annvchanted @poeticmusingss (no pressure <3)

[theultracharmingladynoire]

Thanks for the tag!

My mind is just going through all stages of an Existential crisis. Nothing unusual XD

@miraculousmxrichat

@trustmeifyoudare

@bring-the-storm

@the-salt-is-quite-salty

@bewitchingomen (No pressure of course🤍)

[trustmeifyoudare]

thank you!

i... i was thinking of how sexy bruce papenbrook’s voice was. there is a reason i swear. i’m not crazy

@gray-moon2 @theramblingdaydreamer @chaotic-average-child @lovelybooksmartgirl @allisonross95 

no pressure though

[graymoon2-deactivated20241009]

:)

i was thinking ab those cinnamon brooms like why do they exist? and then whats the purpose of those doctors office reflex tests like ??? and also feminism. i switch thoughts rlly fast im like constantly thinking

tags- no pressure :)

@wrenqueenisboss @nightmarefox15 @nightmareonspookystreet @8thdimensionalchess

[wrenqueenisboss]

thanks for the tag <3

i’m thinking of how crazy it is that palindromes exist. like what the frick??? also, that asking someone what their name is, is like asking someone what combination of sounds they have been assigned

tagging:

@im-so-deep-in-lore-help @blexmar @lucios-spouse @your-local-mcyt-anon @awkwardstrawberrynacho

[blexmar-deactivated20221003]

thank you for the tag :)

so i was thinking about what is under the US. most, if not all places were once under the sea and then became islands, so is the US also an island or is it just connected to the earth itself? i don’t think we can ever find out though because i don’t think anyone has the patience for that

tags ::

@a-rradio @angeluxi @axewriting @abovenyx

no pressure to any of you!! :)

[a-rradio-deactivated20220209]

Thank You ' Fer The Tag , Bunny .

I Just Woke Up , ' N My Night Was Shit So ' M Mostly Thinking ' Bout That Or Greek Mythology , ' N Lots Of Work , ' S Nothing Interesting -

Tag-List ; @sunniewrites @nightmarefox15 @97c1a9

[katrinaaaaaaaa]

... i'm thinking about the drink i got last night in starbucks and now i'm craving for it again :')

tags: @mcyt-sh1t @nightmareonspookystreet @honknap @meliancries @dracoslittlesunflower

[forgetmenoot]

I’m thinking about how lonely I am :) /hj

But I really want cookies!!

@angeluxi @potterinnit @theeretblr I tagged eret as a joke let’s see if they actually reblog..

[lovr4lix]

thanks for the reblog!!

Currently thinking about how Corona has multiple words used for it cause it's also a thing in your eye and a thing in the sun I think. Also it's a virus so fun

@pha5ed @inniterhq @skeppy-too @pinkumarumi @wilbursootstan

[pha5ed]

Thanks for the tag ahhh :”) <3

Thinking about how I'm supposed to be doing 12 days of Christmas but haven't even started or listed out what I'm support to be doing LOLLLL Kinda panicking but whateverrrrr

@saikos-pleb @mcytwheeze @technosdarlin @cottagecorekarl

[pha5ed]

You didn't hear this from me but some sharks have two cocks, do with this info what you will

WHATTTTT

More than me???? </3

I know there's another animal out there with two cocks but I forgot

[pha5ed]

Decided I'm gonna do 12 days of Christmas!

Anyways be honest: do u mfers want fluff or just smut cause I know u guys are all horny bastards 🤨

[pha5ed]

Small Update:

Blog updates:

Missed Kinktober 💔

To make up for it ill be writing during Christmas! Maybe not a 25 days to Christmas but, 20? 15? Idk depends on how I feel

They'll all be pretty short

Personal updates:

I'm doing so much better mentally <3

My urge to write grows every day and I miss this blog a lot. But sadly, I'm not that interested in the Dream SMP. So my writing might be a little outdated but whatever, I still love them

My life has gotten so much better. I was always feeling 2/10 when writing before, but now I'm a solid 10/10 <3 I'm so sorry for slow updates but I've been finally enjoying my life so I hope you can understand

[pha5ed]

have a good hiatus !!! look after urself, see u soon <3 🦝

Love you!!! <3 see you soon!

[pha5ed]

WHAT DOES C! MEAN?

C! Means their character!

So when I write for c!Techno I'm writing for his SMP character that's half piglin and a blood god who can kill everyone with one hit

But when I write for cc!Techno I'm writing for some sweaty gamer nerd guy who really likes Minecraft

And same goes for other creators. Hope that explains it!

[pha5ed]

hi

Hello! :D

[pha5ed]

:(

i hate when people text me so aggressively man. i hate being so sensitive all the time

even worst cause i know it’s my fault but still :( at least try to understand my position too ya know? why lash it all out at me when i’m just a news passer