#cw venting

[cerebrospinalflu1d]

.˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.

Being stable is boring

This sucks

[axolotlmage47]

"For when time and tide has roiled you to harshly and-" IT HAS!!! IT REALLY REALLY HAS!!! WHERE ARE YOU!? WE'VE BEEN ROILED INTO A FLIPPING CRYPTID PANCAKE!!!!!!! -"We're out there, looking for ya'" HURRY UP AND FRICKING FIND US!!!!!!!!!!!

[eraserisms]

So my elder cat is basically dying from old age(He is 19 and has lived a long kitty life) and I would like to let him cross the rainbow bridge but the clinic doesn't have an appointment until the 4th of December and I honestly don't think he's going to last that long.

He is achy and can't do cat things like jump on the couch and he's stopped eating so it's painful for me to watch. At least when he was eating a bit we were able to slip pain meds into his food to help ease him but now he just won't. I've been sleeping on the floor to stop him from trying to jump onto the couch to be by me.

[anime-villian-irl]

In another life I am a cishet white boy kneeling at a alter for the abrahamic god.

I do not question wether or not that God is benevolent or how Jesus can be human and God. I do not question wether or not if I am going to go to hell. I just pray.

I walk down the street and I smile and wave at everyone I see. I don't keep my head down I don't tense up when I hear a cop car. I do tense up when I see a black man walking down the street but I know that I will be protected if anything happens.

I walk alone at night with music , good Christian music , playing in my ears. I don't dance because I'm in public and that's unseemly. I don't feel the need to jerk my limbs around in odd strange movements to express joy either because I am normal. I allow myself to hum but stop when I see someone walking down the street because I am polite.

I am going to marry a nice blonde white Christian cishet woman and we are going to have nice blonde Christian cishet babies. I will be able to afford a house and she will be able to afford to stay at home. And I will never once question wether or not I should have kids. Because it's my purpose to have them.

I get paid well and I am kind enough to my coworkers though I am slightly intimidated by my black woman coworker who never smiles. I tried to make a joke about her smiling more once and she just stared at me. I made a comment about it to a guy I knew but was not close with and we both laughed. Her frown deepened that day but I didn't care. She quit later that year. I think it's for the better. None of the women in the office felt safe around her.

I put a ally flag on my desk during pride month then take it down as soon as it's over. I put it in the closet for next year. Maybe my wife will find it and throw it away while cleaning up.

We get an intern at the office , they are a black woman who claims to be "transmasc genderfluid" I smile and nod while she introduces herself then after she leaves I make a joke to a man I think I might be friends with about kids these days and their genders.

I don't think about death or killing myself. Why would I? My life is perfect. I have a wife who cooks for me , children who are passing every class. I am paid well. And I work in America and am a servant of God. There is no cloud of doom hanging over me , there is no shaking deep in my bones making me feel on the verge of tears all the time. I have empathy as every human should have. And I have an understanding of social ques like every adult should have.

The black woman who claims to be trans has a breakdown in the office one day. And I watch. And for a moment I look at her and I see what I could have been. If I wasn't born right. If I wasn't me. And I grimace. I report her to HR then I go back to my desk.

[zyrtecbrainrot]

think sometimes it’s better off to just leave those good friends in the past because as you grow, no matter what, they will never be able to follow you or what you want / need. will they.

[zuzuelectricbugaloo]

Shoutout to the anniversary of my dad telling me my grandmother who I loved and adored died of a broken heart because of me: because it was my fault, telling her about how I went against my family by choosing who to love

And I wasn't told until after her funeral so there was no way I could have gone

[hyunwxi]

I am my father's child. I take after him, perhaps not by appearance - but by personality. We share little quirks, whether it be gestures, manners, or anger issues.

I am certainly his son, no matter how many meltdowns, no matter how grossed out I feel by the thought of sharing blood. Of sharing a surname, a family. I can scream, cry, and I sure can rip my own skin off, but it doesn't make me less of his son.

I'm coming to terms with it. And although I'm trying to, I wonder when I'm gonna become my own person. I wonder if there will be a day when I don't see him in myself. When I won't take after him so much. Because all I've gotten are bad traits. Because all he's showed me is how to be a bad person- how to hurt others.

I don't wanna hurt people like he did. And even though I'm his son, I don't wanna be like my father. Because he's a cruel man.

[rat-king-they-them]

Why is it that every time I watch a cute animal video on Pinterest the top comment is always like:

“what an adorable animal🥰🥰 just so you know what you are doing is extremely deadly to the animal and actually is a sign of extreme fear. But still a cute video😜😝🥰😊💖💖” /NEG