Whatever Happened To Buttered Popcorn Rice Cakes?

It's a lovely day in the village, and I am a Horrible Goose.

[segamascott]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[unseelie]

​i wish this was in my cart and not someone else’s

[iam0to3yearsold]

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

[unseelie]

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[gayvampyr]

trying to explain why i like horror to people who don’t: ok so you know how it’s fun to be deeply disturbed and unsettled

[kaylmao]

just molted for the first time ama

[evil-sludge]

U feelin' mushy? Easily susceptible to predation..?

[kaylmao]

ok no more questions

[dungeonmastersconsortium]

"I don't have a choice, I'm just following orders"

Have you considered smoking one (1) joint?

[animentality]

[cutekittenlady]

This is yet another thing I thought Pratchett had made up but turned out to be totally real.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Unrelated but any time someone mentions clown makeup I'm reminded of how highly successful stage magician Penn Jillette almost flunked out of clown college and had to take remedial clown makeup classes.

[cuprohastes]

My father was a magician and a clown. When he died, we cleared out his old clotehs and there was his clown suit.

"Oh I'll take this down to the charity shop" said my mother, missing hte part where no sane person is going to wear a clown suit.

"Nah" said I, "Have them dress him in it when they cremate him."

There was a pause and my throw-away joke started to slowly solidify into 'Yeah let's do that'.

A discussion was had with the mortician who had a bit of a worry that the costume would involve giant clown shoes which would prevent the coffin closing.

Luckily it wasn't that sort of outfit.

I told this to my dear friend who immediately envisaged someone trying to close a coffin onto a dead clown, only to have the big red nose go *Sad honk* every time there was an attempt to close the lid.

The awful hilarity rendered her incapable of standing.

[whumpster-fire]

The poor mortician can't figure out why it still won't close, and has to remove 5 dead clowns from the coffin before it finally shuts.

[ewaneneollav]

coworker who has shot me with a water pistol twice today asked me “did you ever watch k-pop demon hunters,” i said “no,” he said, “do you watch Anything,” i looked up towards the ceiling briefly before looking back at him & saying, “no,” he said, “all i can picture, is you, in a corner of a room, staring at a wall,” i said, “yeah”

[bethanydelleman]

I just learned yesterday that watermelons could explode when overripe and then today one exploded in my kitchen. So I guess I'll never learn anything new ever again just to be safe.

[yunnaan]

Pls let me share this beautiful tag with the masses milord

[procne]

i feel like it's absolutely crucial in the social justice world to take "he a little confused but he got the spirit" and similar sentiments/situations as a Win. intent is so much more important than saying it right the first time! if someone is approaching with scuffed language and incorrect terms but they're visibly being as polite as they know how, that person is a friend and should be treated better than what their words might invite in someone else's mouth.

[swimmingblue]

someone who's confused but who's got the spirit has the best thing, which is respect. the other stuff is secondary. I'd take someone who's messing up but doing their best to treat me respectfully any day over someone who's using the right words to do me wrong.

[tiredyke]

i love you women

[catasters]

[sepdet]

I love how this photo demonstrates every single molecule of "how can you tell if a cat likes you"

whole body lifted upwards towards Friend

walking to brush against/wrap around leg

front legs together to assist with tippy toe back arch

back legs slightly back stretch so gooood

question mark tail

head and tail also rubbing Friend

position of trust: cannot see Friend, knows Friend is looking out for cat

SPROING WHISKERS curling forward & down (cat smile)

I adore sproing whiskers of happiness.

[some-kind-of-robot]

Favorite trope from real life experiences

[theomenroom]

when applied to drinks, "dry" means "without sugar". therefore it follows that sugary drinks can be called "wet". the meanings of the terms "hot" and "cold" when applied to drinks are obvious. thus the aspect of any drink can be determined.

for instance, green tea, freshly steeped and served without additives, is hot and dry, and therefore has an aspect of fire.

a mocha, on the other hand, while hot, is sweet, and therefore wet, and thus has an an aspect of air.

lemonade, which is wet and cold, has a water aspect.

finally, the drink which most epitomizes the earth aspect, being both cold and dry, is vodka

[jawline-of-steel]

We have once again returned to the four humors

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I feel like the beverage water is a fairly water aspect drink

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

No unfortunately water is dry

[midknightsix]

Are you alright? Everything will be alright, don't worry.