Hi, we're Phoenix Unity. We're both new and old to Tumblr (have been here before like 2015-18ish).
We are an adult DID system. We're generally nonbinary/genderfluid, queer, disabled, and polyamorous.
Collectively we use they/them, but when we know who makes a post we will add that info and their individual pronouns.
Profile pic was made with Weddyloos picrew
Cover image is from Wikimedia By I, MarcusObal, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2386768
Boundaries
Please do not bring syscourse to our blog.
We are a DID system. We have extensive trauma. We're not going to give a full trigger list, but if you have an ask or comment that may be triggering, please add a warning and we will get back to you when/if we're able.
If you are homophobic, transphobic, ableist, racist, xenophobic, etc. you will get blocked. We will not give warnings, we will just block you.
DNI radqueers, xenosatanists
If you are under 18 do not DM us. We're okay interacting in public ways but NOT in private. (You shouldn't be interacting with strange adults in private for your own safety anyway.)
If we’re not mutuals or ever interacted and you tag me in a comment section to share a gofundme/fundraiser link I will block you. I don’t know you. This is spam.
Tag System & Brief Alter Intros (under the cut)
Main tags are #my post or #reblog to indicate whether or not we wrote the post. We recently (like in late April/early May) added #queue, which will be on most posts.
Not everyone has or is comfortable giving an intro, and any tags that are emoji-only don't have the # in front of them to keep formatting consistent.
We're trying out adding the month we wrote a post, particularly if we know specifically who wrote it. This may not be consistently applied. Posts will historical writing will have tags like #this is from [month year] for clarity.
#blurry is a catch-all for when we don't know who's fronting, when multiple of us are fronting and can't distinguish who's writing the post, etc.
#other people's art is what it says on the tin, art from other people.
#Emelio (he/they/ey) is our current main host.
#🧚 is technically also a host, usually fronting with Emelio. 🧚 (he/they/fae) is an elf and has wings.
#Trance (they/them) is mostly a work/task headmate. Also better mood and feels less pain (just lower sensation in general really).
#Cass💙 (he/him) is also mostly a work/task headmate, very serious, part of the previous host team (several years ago).
#Emily (she/they) is a co-host technically, she’s fronting a bit more again now after a long break cause she was the main host for two years and got a bit burnt out.
#T💛🤍💜🖤 (he/they) is a queer enby with a British accent
#D🖤 (he/it/they) is a joy holder and a demon with a Russian accent.
#Kal💙 (they/ze) is a depression holder, tend to be annoyed.
#Lorr (she/her) is originally a Hetalia OC, has sort of a French accent.
#Rose🧚♀️🌸 (they/fae/she) is one of our gatekeepers. Fae is a faerie and has wings, also has "secret" knowledge of the system.
#Alex (he/they) is a former host.
#Em (she/her) is part of our current host subsystem, as far as we can tell fronts less often.
#Emmm (he/they) is part of our current host subsystem.
#Gil🖤🤍🖤 (he/him) is an introject, was suspected to be a fragment but might not be.
🫐🐶 (she/her) is a dog and an introject. Possibly dormant.
#Caspian (he/it) is sort of a Pantheon introject.
#J🍊✨ (they/them) is a very queer, sort of gender-shifted introject.
#T-A (she/her) is a gatekeeper and anger holder, also an introject.
💚 (they/them)
🦄 (she/her) likes hot chocolate, unicorns, and dinosaurs.
🎼 (she/they) plays piano and guitar
💙 (they/them) was dormant until recently
#M💚🍖 (they/ey) holds our special interest in One Piece, loves anime in general. They are a former host.
⭐️ (they/she)
🛴🌈 (they/ey/it) they're queer and we associate their name with a scooter.
#Dany💜 (they/it) is a demon, a caretaker, and has an accent.
#K 🖤 (they/xe) is a demonic creature.
#T 🧚 (they/fae/he) is a pixie.
#Cam 🧛🏼♀️ (they/she) is a vampire and caretaker.
#gb (he/it)
💚👻 (he/they) is a symptom holder, nonspeaking AAC user, and likes space.
#Utah ✨🪲🧑🎤 (they/ze/xe) is a caregiver and protector with a southern accent.
#Za (they/them) is a protector.
#Foxy (they/them) is a writer and former Hetalia OC.
#T☕🐉 (they/them) is our streaming/internet persona.
#F🌹🍷 (he/him) is a Hetalia introject, only recently came out of dormancy.
I had a teacher in elementary school who felt strongly that smelling books was essential, to the point it was borderline required of the class when we were assigned new books for book reports/group reading.
I thought it was kinda weird, but prob cause it was also somewhat forced.
we keep having a few moments, hours, or a day or two before feeling down or numb
and I know we need to schedule in with our psychiatrist but picking up the phone feels insurmountable half the time and the other half we forget entirely
cause we also need to go to the pharmacy for two important meds that we're out of, and we haven't been able to schedule the ride for that either
Is being in a wheelchair significantly harder to navigate than double crutches? I'm losing more and more mobility and pretty nervous about it and I generally trust you
Honestly it depends entirely on the space you’re trying to navigate
An accessible place with lots of room like an airport, or major hospital? Wheelchair
An unmodified house/apartment with narrow doorways, a small bathroom, and tall counters? Crutches
There are other things to consider with a wheelchair you don’t have to think about with crutches too, like rugs/carpets, door lips, counters being too tall, and doorways being too narrow.
So there are tradeoffs for each one, but a wheelchair has a harder learning curve IMO. It's going to SUCK until you can build the necessary strength and skills. Once you build them its much, MUCH easier. That learning curve lasted a little longer than the one for arm crutches did for me. Its like 6 months to a year before you can really feel confident using it.
There's generally an overlap of time if you have something degenerative like i do, where you can use whatever tool suits the task best. Take advantage of that, it helps a lot with the mental transition from one aid to another and you can start building skills on a wheelchair before you HAVE to use it 100% of the time. Like start using the wheelchair on short trips down the street on good days, and also use it on bad days when you have no other choice. Then later on, when things have declined and you're using the wheelchair more often than not, if there's something like say... mushroom hunting in the woods, you want to do... A wheelchair can't do that well, but crutches can and if it's worth the pain later, perfect!
Consider a rollator as well, with a basket and seat so you can sit and rest. It's also a good introduction into the world of large bulky mobility aids but without as many restrictions. It can go over grass and hills much easier than a wheelchair, but still needs to be factored into plans the way a wheelchair does. Also they're fun. I miss my rollator, even if it's living a happy second life with my elderly in-laws on vacation.
I'm a braces, cane seat, and wheelchair user. I have used crutches for like, a month before, so can't really compare. My main needs are fatigue, bad dizziness, and pain.
The crutches and cane I had a lot of trouble figuring out, because coordination problems. Walking with three or four legs is very hard for me. Even today, I have trouble lifting the cane high enough to clear bumps.
My wheelchair was so intuitive for me. It was like driving a car and most of my clumsiness disappeared. Hard to push at first, but still so much better, even though I didn't get a proper fitted one and I wasn't taught the right technique. (The medical company scammed me and the doctor was not following up and taking care of me like they should.)
If I can give you the best advice, I say do your research.
Using it on the road and with no doctor help was hard but I managed. I was lucky enough to have a friend with me to push when I was too tired most of the time. Because I understood car driving, I knew about building up momentum on ramps and going slow on hills. I very quickly learned to go backwards when the road was too bumpy. (I still can't do a wheelie. It's probably not safe for me.) I went zigzag on very steep hills because it was easier. I got gloves for my hands so I didn't hurt them when braking. I was able to navigate basically everything. And my city was not very accessible in places! Some parts were over two hundred years old and cobblestone.
Some places, I have to get out of my chair and lift it over the step. People always stare, sometimes offer to help, but no one has ever gotten angry or called me faker. Only the cane got me questioned. "You are young. Why you need cane?"
Honestly the only thing that makes the wheelchair worse is the people. Christians keep talking to me, asking what happened and praying against my will. I am treated like a social bother, especially by bus drivers and other low paid workers who have to help me. People are much more likely to touch me. One woman tried to take my wallet away and "pay for me." (I still don't know if she was going to steal it.) Many men have grabbed my chair and moved me without permission. Sometimes they even push my friend who was pushing out of the way to do it. I am not seen as adult by many people, and they hand my card and receipt to my friends, even though I gave it to them. Clowns keep coming up to me and trying to give me balloons. (There is a group in my town for children.)
I don't want to scare you, but you should be prepared. It's worth it not to fall anymore, or collapse in pain and need to be helped up. To not have massive back pain all the time or crash into things.
I live in a blue city in a red state. I currently rely on Medicaid to have any access to my necessary meds and medical treatment.
However, in my state they don't cover HRT.
I know people who still got their estradiol covered despite this fucked up policy. Maybe because it's not a controlled substance.
But they don't cover testosterone. Which I was hoping to go back on.
I have a prescription and could therefore have doctor oversight if I use what I have from a previous HRT grant (shoutout Point of Pride! I had two years of HRT thru them, I was just very bad at taking my shots/having some doubts about whether I wanted to continue taking T for a while).
But I should not have to do this. This is ridiculous. It should be covered. It's a necessary medication.
A Book of Creatures by @a-book-of-creatures doesn't update these days but is another thing along these lines, really huge, fully illustrated all by the author and cites all sources
reminder that the books themselves also suck ass actually. there's an entire plotline endorsing slavery. the one character who advocates to end slavery is bullied and made fun of. the one slave who doesnt like being enslaved is bullied and treated as an outcast. the bankers are the picture of racist stereotypes of jewish people. the one asian character is named fckn Cho Chang. the worldbuilding SUCKS. fuck harry potter and fuck rowling. stop giving her your money.
I already have too many side blogs and I literally never check the communities tab despite being in a few of them
but I'm lowkey thinking of making a new side blog for practicing (very beginner) Japanese
bc I made a small Discord server for such purpose but I was trying to keep it to people I either actually know or who know someone I know
just less to worry about in a study server that I also added PluralKit too, y'know
(cause while I'm open about being a system on my more public platforms as a streamer, I didn't actually put PK in that server cause I don't really want to disclose in that much detail--it's also why we mostly use pseudonyms/abbreviations of our names on this blog)
alternatively: if some people are willing to join a small plural beginner Japanese study server AND be private about it, I'd be willing to consider it. but I'd only be open to 10-20 people max, at least for now
some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker
i dont think whites understand how being white makes literally everything easier.
it effects everything.
being trans is easier when youre white.
being gay is easier when youre white.
being disabled is easier when youre white.
being a woman is easier when youre white.
being autistic is easier when youre white.
oppression is eased when you are white, as you get extra privileges, and your whiteness is seen as a positive characteristic that in some ways counter-balances your other forms of being a minority. whiteness controls everything.
you are automatically way more innocent in your own oppression as a gay, trans, disabled person because of your whiteness.
we haven't been able to write any of the stuff we've had ideas for yet, that still feels blocked, but fuck it feels good to have so many new ideas and the thirst to write them
The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.
My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.
I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.
I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.
I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.
I learned to love books because my father loved them first.
How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.
a small sign that our Japanese is improving even at early stages:
we've recognized more words while watching anime!
we've had some random words rattling around in our brain, and they weren't nonsense, it was actual vocab words we were learning (even tho we kinda forgot what some meant bc it'd been two weeks since practicing)
I'm looking thru some of my old fics and I know it's been a decade but I'm sad to learn that an old mutual deleted their account
we were doing a very lowkey collab cause some of their art inspired a one shot series. but now the art is gone, and all I have left is the comment chains on the old fics.
I'm working on putting a bunch of them over on AO3, even if some of them I'm not super happy with anymore (not surprising, I wrote them as a teen; it's been 10 years lol)
watching my husband get diagnosed with and treated for sleep apnea over the last year was not the thing that radicalized me re: weight and healthcare but my goodness it has solidified my stances.
sleep apnea is more common in people who are fat.
society decided for some reason that this meant that being fat causes sleep apnea. its often difficult to get referrals for sleep apnea treatment if you are fat, because some PCPs will tell you try losing weight first.
turns out!! having untreated sleep apnea causes weight gain in a not-insignificant number of people. it also makes it fucking impossible for many people to lose weight.
my husband worked out the same amount before he got a cpap as he does now. there have been no major diet changes either. yet he has been losing weight -- and gaining muscle tone -- consistently since he started using a cpap in january.
also, his blood pressure -- which was high, which docs blamed on his weight/diet -- went down significantly within one month of starting cpap treatment, before his weight changed significantly.
ANYWAYS. this is getting long. two final thoughts.
- I Want To Strangle Medical Fatphobia With My Bare Fucking Hands
- if you are exhausted constantly for "no reason", and especially if you snore, you should probably ask your doctor about getting tested for sleep apnea. it is extremely common -- estimates are around 1 in 10 people -- and is also wildly under-diagnosed. like, some estimates suggest that 80% of people with moderate-severe sleep apnea are undiagnosed.
