This is a sideblog for fun only. Absolutely no discourse about external locations, views out of windows, etc. We're not having a repeat Roblox situation 😬
Speculative inside layout bulleted below:
I've pieced together the following layout based on images posted of and by DnP themselves:
Ground Floor:
Black entryway with zigzag LED feature and mirror
Main bedroom with eclipse painting, Dan's closet, en suite with tub, cuck seating area, and butt chair
Hallway / Corridor / Floating stairs with tree feature
Green bedroom / Guest room with Phil's en suite, Phil's closet, and green feature wall
Phil's study / Amazingphil filming room / Spare guest room with murphy bed and brown oak built-in shelves
Speculation only: guest bathroom between Phil's study and the gaming room, laundry/utility room off the black entryway.
First Floor (Up the Floating Steps)
Kitchen / Phitchen with oval island, built-in fridge/freezer, stacked ovens, mysterious polaroids, coffee bar, and shuffleboard.
Bathroom / WC between the floating staircase opening and the fridge.
Fishtank / piano area leading to sitting room with black curved feature wall covered in plants.
Sitting room with white couch, architectural lamp, black feature wall with black and white artwork, curved window walls, and fireplace.
Dining area / Bar area with dining table, built-in desk, Mac computer, shelves for alcohol and plants
Speculation only: smaller sitting area behind the fireplace, balcony with garden access (stairs?) or terrace, hidden closet in sitting room black feature wall.
Second / Top Floor (up the non-floating steps)
This floor is almost entirely speculation. We know these stairs lead upstairs, but have almost no context for what's up there.
Speculation only: Cinema room (I feel strongly about this one), gaming area or lounge (? Just a vibe; nothing to indicate this other than vibes ?), rooftop garden
Personally, I think there's only one thing worse than white walls: GREY walls 💀 I really don't like the new plaster wall in the corridor, they should have listened to phil and added at least 50% of glitter to make it more whimsical
Dan thinks he's an ecobrutalist eccentric, but he loves a cosy vibe as much as the next guy. Their house can't decide what it wants to be.
Yes!!! Totally new angle of (what I presume to be) the WC off the kitchen.
Looks like they added black trim to the transition (behind Dan's head) when they did glittery moon wall up the glowing stairs. (See compared to femboy baking below ⬇️⬇️)
Bonus views inside WC ⬇️⬆️ can see the black sink above and below.
Do you think they ever edit their photos or photoshop stuff out to be more private / confuse us? (I hope they do lol)
I mean, think about the 2nd mukbang thumbnail and phil moving the candle flame on the phude. So i bet they do. I also love how they use window clings and varying levels of curtains, blinds, and plants to obscure the view outside. They also cover things in the bg and use very odd camera angles to maintain their space. Helps me feel a lot less creepy when I'm sharing pics for phouse angles/decor/rooms.
(Also using this ask (even tho it's not relevant to anon, ily) to put the disclaimer that I do also respect their right to privacy and I'm not trying to like draw up a floorplan or recreate it in roblox, I'm just fascinated by the weirdness of phouse and their decor choices. It's not archaeology if it's posted on main. They are reasonable adults who know what they do want to share and what they don't want to share. If they didn't want us to notice phouse layouts, they wouldn't change up backgrounds, take videos moving around the place, or share pics.)
Dnp really designed and built their forever home for forever because no way in hell could they sell it as is with that kitchen.
The kitchen is perfect for two people who occasionally entertain but really don't cook. The coffee station takes up a third of the counter space, the sink is tiny as shit, the oven is tucked away like an afterthought, and there's a WC in the middle of it all. It's a pass-through space for coffee, cereal, snacks, and takeaway.
Though why they didn't do a hidden rubbish/recycling bin is beyond me- actually, it might prove my point that the kitchen was the least prioritized spot in the house...
the movie room has such basement vibes though. I guess just because of the lack of windows? It seems weird for it to be on the top floor but I don't know where else it could be.
Ikr? We can't assign reason to the phouse, it's an enigma. But there really doesn't seem to be another logical place for it to be on the ground or first floors. And we've seen no evidence of a basement, or basement access, though this doesn't mean it's not there.
I thought it'd be sooo cool if the cinema room was behind the secret door in the lounge until I realised it'd be under the glowing stairs, and that wouldn't work 🤷🏻
I'm dying to know where the cinema room is, I'm sure we'll learn more one day 😎
Balcony anon here! it's the water drinking patreon video, there's a jumpcut around the end of the video and you can see the corridor
Amazing work, anon 👏 I absolutely love seeing these glimpses of how they've created their own private jungle oasis away from prying eyes. Yes, they're showing us bits of the phouse, but it's a very curated space that maintains their bubble of privacy using plants, design elements, and decor to obscure the external location and protect their boundaries.
As for the shots below, I still think it's a balcony/patio situation like what they had at the 2nd London flat. Not a grassy garden, per se, but a plant-covered space for entertaining, relaxing, grilling, ya know? And the slatted wall/rail provides privacy for that.
I do think they have back garden/private deck/patio space via the ground floor, though, as they have doorwalls in the bedrooms and outdoor plants nearby (see screenshots from Dan's tiktok and the phatreon below)
Some more speculation, I actually noticed from one of their patreon videos that the door leading outside from the kitchen has a balcony with very tall metal railings instead of immediately leading into a garden, so this helps rooftop garden theory! just not sure what they were doing with the mouse then unless there's somehow steps from the balcony leading down into a patio or garden but it seems unlikely if this is a penthouse
Do you remember which video? Or what the context was? I want to find the clip!
Looks like they’ve rehabbed the bathtub to be undermount, added a marble surface to match the storage nooks/counters, and potentially added tile to the toilet wall? Though it might’ve been there before and wasn't obvious in the older pics.
Didn't they talk about doing a red/orange lime wash in the bath? Wonder where that's going.
TW: design opinions under the cut
I HATE the grey/taupe/concrete shades thing they've got all over the phouse. The kitchen wall, the carpet, the tile, and the bath cabinets are all shades of greyish cream. Idk, just makes the place look dim instead of cosy.
Such a shame because the light wood, black accents, and warm lights they have in the entryway, the black bedroom, and the lounge are soooo good. I am, however, biased because my house is all white walls, black fixtures, and maple flooring.
first floor confuses me so much ... like yk how the stairs enter into the kitchen and the piano is to the right of the stairs, wouldn't that mean the garden is on that right side too? and i also thought the dining/bar was to the right as well
also the dividing walls in the living room like where's the tv positioned to the couch? ages ago i used to think they just didn't have a tv but you can see a remote and the controllers and that's def where they play mario kart and where phil usually games
please help im so intrigued by the phouse thank you!!!!
Okay, yes, let me take you on a cute little tour of what they've shared! The phouse has a weird fuckin' layout so buckle up.
Come up the floating stairs to the kitchen (where phil is standing ⬇️⬇️)
If you're standing at the top of the floating stairs the kitchen is to your left and the breakfast bar/island is basically in front of you/slightly to the left. ⬇️⬇️
Then when you turn and continue toward the right, you're moving past the mysterious glowing stairs up... And now we're at the piano and entering the lounge ⬇️⬇️
that framed image on the wall ☝️☝️ is a Samsung frame tv (i know because i have one) and maintains an aesthetically pleasing house. Plus, you can hardwire the tv via a special box so it's flush to the wall with no cords showing! Very common in custom-built homes.
If you're sat on the couch looking toward the piano, this is your (blurry) view back toward the kitchen ⬇️⬇️
Here's another view from sat on the couch ⬇️⬇️
That black feature wall actually has a secret door too! ⬇️⬇️
And we've no idea what's in there ☝️☝️ though my guess is it's a storage closet. Perhaps for board games and cleaning supplies. They've also mentioned shoving random shit into a closet before company comes, so I think this is the random shit closet.
And here's another angle of the tv/island, but from kind of the dining room. ⬇️⬇️
When it comes to the garden, I have no clue. I think they have a rooftop terrace garden, speculated upon in this post: mystery garden
But there must be some sort of garden access on the first floor because they chased the mouse out into the garden in this clip ⬇️⬇️
So perhaps a patio for entertaining? Similar to what they had in the second London secret living apartment. If so, this is probably where the grill is (where Monty the mouse lived)
I hope this answered your questions, though looking at the phouse layout always introduces more questions!!!
💛
Bonus speculation: I think the island that the fireplace/tv are on has some storage components to the sides. This would be a good spot for video game consoles, ethernet connections, wifi extenders, etc. to connect to the tv.
I have no proof for this other than the island, which kind of looks like it has cupboards in the photo of phil with freja above and the ps4 debate taking place in front of an open cupboard with the same colour scheme as the island.
Based on every pic we've gotten (which are always from a low angle), it really does look like they’ve got a rooftop garden. They live in London, you'd see other homes and a fence if you were in a traditional walk-out garden.
With this logic, we can assume the mysterious stairs next to the floating stairs lead up to the rooftop garden. ⬇️⬇️ though the picture of goblin dan confuses the fuck out of me.
Originally, I argued that it looked like Dan was heading up to a loft-esque space. Because those stairs, the wall plaster, and the wooden handrail do not look like outdoor access materials! But then I was reminded of a friend's home, which had a weird window hatch for roof access.
The images below are from a random real estate listing that encompasses what I'm envisioning ⬇️⬇️
So maybe this is the situation they've got at the phouse? Also, notice how if the glass was obscured with lots of foliage, you'd only be able to see the sky... 🤔
BUT if those stairs lead directly to the roof, where in the fuck is the cinema room?! I thought maybe it could be up the glowing stairs and behind a doorway, but now I'm completely unsure. Are there more stairs? Are there secret doors we've not seen on the first or ground floors? The mystery continues.
