[pibepie]

There’s a guy at my job that i am like 98% sure is drinking his lunch. If you know what I mean. And I have zero idea how to approach the situation without being like “this guys a fucking drunk” to my boss

[anxietyproblem]

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[redstonedust]

i could never handle immortality not because of any existential reasons but because i know itd make my procrastination so much worse. catch me putting off tasks for decades. catch me putting off tasks for centuries. what do you mean that movie ive been meaning to get around to became lost media 40 years ago. what do you mean that landmark ive been meaning to visit has been eroded. oooh i got PLANY of time..............

[pibepie]

I just wanna be living but it’s so expensive

[noknowshame]

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

[memequeen-official]

[starlight-incarnate]

free post for y’all to keep liking to see the lil heart animation

[goatedgreen]

its actually crazy how good music is. and its all different, too. like wow. huge deal really when you think about it

[machinot]

Scientists have found that if you get 8 hours of sleep and are still tired during the day it’s because your soul is cursed and your body doesn’t think you deserve happiness. There is no cure or treatment

[will-gr4ham]

U know the bands good when it’s one stunning girl and like three average looking guys

[redstonedust]

was reading about birth control methods and saw one that said "dont worry, this wont stop your periods!" which was fascinating wording to me. like dont worry? whos the sick fuck thats like "yeah i dont want to get pregnant but i ABSOLUTELY want to continue bleeding once a month thats very important to me."

[hozierswift]

clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in

[the-haven-of-fiction]

Reblog to send a juice box to your internet friends

🧃

[sunb1eeder]

those sick perverts at oreo are always crossbreeding their cookies with anything they can get their hands on

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[peachdelta]

get ready for the wedding

[callali1y]

every time someones says "hey how are you" and i say "good" and forget to add the "how about you?" i feel like i've missed a quicktime event