Okay, you guys remember this convo from the Sick Sakura mini arc
And I know I've brought this up before, my main thought was "And you, do you know how to use a phone Suo?”
And mixing this with the fact Suo never lets anyone see his phone or the way he always seems to respond to everyone but never initiates conversations himself, why I got was:
Suo does know how to use a phone but only from the receiver side, he's the one getting the call and he knows how to answer when someone uses the phone, but he probably doesn't know how to use the phone to make the call himself...
In other words, Suo is always willing to help everyone, he does his best to help, but he does not know how to ask for help, let alone let himself be helped.
When Nirei actually confronted him, when he told him to quit smiling, he took away one of Suo's masks, he overstepped that imaginary boundary Suo has, where his words are never questioned, suddenly Nirei is asking for reasons, reasons that Suo can't talk about without exposing himself, without becoming vulnerable...
For people who were parentified or had to assume too much responsibility too young, the sole act of showing the slight vulnerability feels like the world is going to crumble and you'll fall apart.
There's a fear of being told that you can handle it so it doesn't matter.
A fear of being told you're faking now because you always look so well put together...
Once again, Sakura is scared of vulnerability because he's been hurt before, cast aside, so once he started seeing that nobody was going to hurt him, to cast him aside, he started trusting people more
On the other side, the more people opened themselves up, Suo kept closing himself, a very delicate balance he kept to be able to help others open up without having to let himself be vulnerable.
At Bankoku-Gai, I feel nobody questions him because he is a figure of stability and protection, nobody ever questions his vulnerability, nobody expects him to open up...
Suo has essentially isolated himself from the world in a very particular way, unable to break away from his figure of officer or helpful friend, and that's such a lonely and tiring experience...
Also, "that also applies to friendship, I think" told me that Suo has never had friends before, or people he considered friends before, of course he doesn't know how to use that. Suo has the kids at the dojo that he's responsible for, the ones who come from outside that he feeds and pays attention to, his kyodai that he respects but he's still their superior and likely no one else, because I still think his master is dead.
All Suo has is people he has to care for or pretend for...
Which makes this panel much more compelling, because Suo clearly holds a lot of empathy and understanding for people, but doesn't include himself there. Only further proving that he definitely thinks he's not allowed vulnerability, of course he has fears, maybe more and bigger than the others, but he can't share them.
So, clearly, when Nirei said this, he probably felt fear at the possibility of any vulnerability being exposed.
He makes me ill, my son who has too much on his shoulders and won't let himself be vulnerable at all, won't let himself ask for help
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