.•Remi•.

He / It MC-DID, OCD, ASD #1 Bug Enjoyer

[pink-devolve]

Hello, welcome to my blog!!

He / It , FTM Gender-Queer

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Ramcoa survivor and programmed system, I will be talking about this on my page.

OCD, Anxiety, Autism, ADHD, C-PTSD, DID

Age-regressor / little heavy system

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I typically use singular pronouns, and alters will typically not identify themselves.

BYF:

- I will be using this page to talk about some transID discourse, because it pisses me tf off

- All potentially triggering and graphic topics will have CWs, but might not be censored. I don’t believe in using CWs for only a word

DNI:

- Radqueers & TransIDs

- Pro-c Paras

- Zionists

- Endos

You all suck <3

Thank you for reading my intro!! <:0)

[quasar-sys]

man having DID is an absolute trip

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why do u use the 🚦 emoji in ur posts abt ramcoa? like is that just ur personal way of censoring it or is that a thing for the community? ive never seen it before

It’s an emoji code for trafficking, I get anxious referring to myself as a🚦survivor due to self doubt, programming, etc, so I often use that emoji instead.

Other people in the community use it, especially on highly censored platforms like tiktok. Some other codes I’ve seen are 🚥 and 🚦💍

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How to make life feel worth living when you have crippling anxiety and PTSD no borax no glue

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One of the worst parts of being a ramcoa survivor is not having a space to talk about your story, because it’s too upsetting for other people to hear about.

Not only can I not vent about it, but I can’t even talk about the things I went through. I’ve had two therapists drop me because they couldn’t handle it. One time when I was in the hospital, my nurse started crying and had to go home for the rest of the day. One of my ex partners broke up with me because they didn’t feel comfortable being with a 🚦 survivor. And I didn’t tell any of them the heavy details of my abuse. Just me surviving something I was forced into was too much for them.

And that’s not unique, every ramcoa survivor I know that has tried to find help for their trauma has had similar experiences.

I’m lucky enough to have finally found a therapist that knows how to treat me. And a week ago I said something that had happened to me, and idk what happened. He jumped and said “oh my god” like he just watched someone get killed. He immediately apologized, but it hurt. Why did I have to go through something that is so revolting to everyone.

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I met a cute guy he’s got me sending him “><“ and shit

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Ramcoa thingz when I can’t leave the town I was abused in

Ramcoa thingz when I’m working with the FBI as a barely 18yo

Ramcoa thingz when my trauma causes my immune system to attack my body

Ramcoa thingz when I can’t get out of bed for most of the day

Ramcoa thingz when I grieve the person I could’ve been

Ramcoa thingz when non-survivors rarely believe me

Ramcoa thingz when I pass out from thinking about things too hard

Ramcoa thingz when I see people from my group that no longer recognize me

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As someone who is a programmed PF-DID system, we need to stop using the term HC-DID. Here’s why ⬇️

1. The system that coined the term is a groomer and is anti-semitic. There is evidence(some screenshots included below) of the MayMay system(The 20y/o coiner of the term) being sexual towards minors up to 5 years younger than them. In MayMay’s discord server, 15 year olds are allowed in NSFW channels that have sexting in them. MayMay has joked about sexually assaulting a 16 y/o. There is a 15 year old that seems to always be with MayMay, and constantly talks about interacting with MayMay in a NSFW context. Etc etc etc. There have also been screenshots of MayMay using the term “Jew” as a derogatory insult.

2. The term excludes programmed systems that do not have a highly complex case of DID Many programmed systems can not use the term “HC-DID” due to having OSDD, not having PF-DID, etc. All programmed systems have distinct differences from non-programmed systems, but programmed systems without a highly complex case of DID don’t have a straightforward term to describe their experience. I’ve seen a lot of people use the term HC-DID and programmed interchangeably, and imo that’s not fair to other survivors trying to find community.

3. You can have a highly complex case of DID and not be programmed. You can have trauma that is just as extreme as the trauma experienced by programmed systems, end up with a highly complex case of PF-DID, and not be programmed. I’ve met some non-programmed PF-DID systems with insane system structures. One system I knew was not programmed, but had hundreds of different alters, all with very specific roles, hierarchy, and layers, that all fronted to do very specific tasks. They told me they had a specific alter who fronted to wash their hands, and another specific alter who fronted to sleep on wednesdays. Their case could absolutely be considered highly complex, but again, they weren’t programmed.

4. We have terms used/created by professionals, that don’t have any of these issues. The terms mind-controlled DID (MC-DID) and Torture based mind control DID (TBMC-DID) have both been coined by professionals, can be used with other plural disorders(MC-OSDD), or to describe all plural disorders at once(MC-system), can’t be used to describe non-programmed systems, etc.

Overall, I don’t have an issue with individuals that use the term HC-DID, I just think it’s annoying that it’s the default way to say “programmed system”. I honestly think the term is a fine way to describe systems with a highly complex structure, and should still be used in that context. But if we do that, the term should be open to non-programming survivors as well. There is absolutely no reason to fight over this term. It’s really not that deep. But if you’d like to debate respectfully I am happy to.

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When I get too curious and open the folder labeled “-Memories”

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Yo I haven’t really seen anyone talking about this, but there are certain parts of Hazbin Hotel that can be extremely triggering for survivors of RAMCOA and SA.

I just finished watching the show and I loved it. But episode four was extremely triggering for me.

I will be describing a couple scenes somewhat thoroughly, none of which are super important to the plot, but all of which may be triggering to read. I think it’s important to have a trauma informed description of these scenes out there.

This is NSFW, the episode is 18+ and I don’t recommend that people under 18 read this. However if you’re going to watch this episode anyways, you deserve to have trigger warnings as well.

(Spoilers for episode four and minor NSFW under the cut)

The episode starts off with a warning for depictions of sexual abuse. The warning lasts for about 10-20 seconds, and that was enough for me to read it fully. This warning is very brief and does not describe the extent of what is shown in the episode. After the warning, it jumps into a scene where Angel Dust is tied to a chair, and an interrogator comes out and starts to have s3x with him. This is shown to be a CNC ✨film✨ when it zooms out to show Angel Dust playing it for the residents of Hazbin Hotel. Even knowing it is just a ✨film✨, I found it a little odd that it was the first scene shown, especially without prior context.

The next scene I wanted to talk about is when Angel is about to start filming with his boss, Valentino. Again this is going to include spoilers, I’m going to try and keep them minimal but yk.

Charlie decides that she is going to go to Valentino’s studio and demand that Angel spends more time at the hotel. She trips and causes an accident. Valentino pulls Angel into his dressing room, and starts physically abusing him. He uses his smoke abilities to shackle Angel’s hands and neck, putting Angel on a leash. He then drags Angel forward and shows Angel the contract he signed at one point, letting Valentino own his soul. Afterwards he says a series of lines reminding Angel that he is unable to say no, one being “If I say you’re fvcking 20 guys before lunch, you say..”

As a tr4ffick1ng survivor myself, this scene kinda fucked me up. What is going on between Angel and Val is blatant tr4ffick1ng, and it doesn’t say anything about this in the warning at the beginning of the episode.

Soon after this, Angel has a musical number. The music video for this shows a lot of k1nk gear, “C”NC, Angel being clearly distressed and scared, etc. With the added context of Angel being unable to say no, all of this was again, pretty triggering for me. In one scene, Angel is blindfolded and has something out on to keep his mouth open, he is then thrown onto the floor, and pushed “onto” someone. This was the most upsetting scene for me.

The only notable scene after this, is when Angel goes to a bar and a guy spikes his drink. It’s pretty unrealistic and didn’t personally upset me, but I do think it’s important to mention.

Honestly??? Even with it being triggering, this was my favorite episode. I was able to use coping skills and watch it with a friend, and I took a break after the musical number to talk and eat food. This episode in general does a really great job at fleshing out Angel’s character, and gives him a lot of depth that we haven’t previously been that exposed to. After the scenes I described, it gets better and Angel is able to open up for the first time, which I think is nice.

With all of that being said, I do think this is a weird episode to have in a serious typically marketed as 16+. In the warning on this episode, it does say that it’s for people 18 and older. But idk how they expect a 16 year old to just not watch the one episode said to be 18+.

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Hey!

I am going to stop editing the blocklist I made on this account, and I am going to be creating a new one using the account @radqueer-blocklistt

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Ramcoa survivor moment when I try to do something normal at work and just get violent flashbacks

How tf do I tell my manager I can’t clean the mop bucket because I was ritually abused

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sorry if you don't want these asks but... for the blocklist, kodoamo supports transids, states the only reason h*'s not a radqueer is because h* DOESN'T consider h*mself anti-harassment, and coined "arissonazi" (arriso- terms are supposed to be a way of describing atypical dysphoria in less harmful ways, and is *not* meant to include shit that's basically transnazi but kodoamo doesn't give a shit)

as a jewish system im so overjoyed to discover this /s

YO HUH

I’ll look him over when I get off work and add him, but that’s fucking wild

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i’m the owner of antirq-blocklist, unless there’s another one rq-blocklist and antirq-blocklist should be the same thing. i change the url to not be confused with radq-blocklist and it might’ve gotten caught up as a seperate entity when it’s not. letting you know bc idk if anyone else would and i don’t want people getting confused /g

Thank you!! Also thank you for being a normal person!!

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Anyways guys I got payed enough to buy the pastel patchwork build-a-bear frog, and I got the last one at my local store 💪💪💪

(His name is popsicle and he’s bubble gum scented)

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ciel got termed again his new blog is sootdazai

Haha L

It’s almost like when you claim to assault people, your account is going to get taken down

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Ugh added some animal predators to the list

Why did I fucking join this hellsite