Where I Went These Last Few Weeks
Hello, guys. :) It's been a while since I've posted anything, and I've felt God leading me to give you an explanation of why.
(Warning for blood and medical talk)
First and foremost, for the last two months, I have been dealing with my cat slowly dying from a tumor in her side. She's still currently alive, thank God, but she's grown very weak and skinny. Seeing her being in pain and having to clean up blood on my floor, bed, and clothes has been... very very hard. For a long while sleep was difficult, and that effected my emotions and mental state badly. The doctors told me that there was a 'chance' Mittens (my cat) would survive, but it was low at best with her age.
My hope faded more and more each day that she would be okay.
Second, my Mum has been hurting very badly again too. Her RA, (rheumatoid arthritis), has become so increasingly painful that there are days where she can barely walk without wincing.
That has badly effected my mental state too, seeing her hurting so badly and not being able to help take the pain away.
And then... something happened that changed everything. My little seven year old nephew came to my house. He knocked on my door while I was working at my computer, and I let him in. Immediately, he and his little sister noticed Mittens laying on my bed with a cone around her neck. They walked up to her, and like kids do, began asking all kinds of questions.... Questions that hurt me to answer.
After a little bit, they left. Then about an hour or so later, after I had successfully forced back the growing tears behind my eyes, I heard another little knock.
I let my nephew in again. I also noticed he hadn't brought his sister this time either. He asked, "Can I spend some time with Mittens?" And I smiled and said yes. He walked over to my bed again, and began stroking Mitten's fur. And then he did something I had never seen before from someone so young.
He began to pray over her.
"God will heal you. It's okay, it's okay." He whispered. "And when your boo boo heals we'll take the cone off and you'll see again."
I sat in awe, listening to this little seven year old boy have so much faith that Mittens would be okay. He spoke to God with such boldness and trust-- something I am still learning to do. And that little kid's faith-- his trust that God would heal my beloved cat-- it washed away so much pain and worry and stress that I had been holding in my heart.
And that whole experience led to me making this: A depiction of my SIW characters re-enacting one of my favorite songs, "God's Not Done with You" by Tauren Wells. You can find it on Youtube.
Don't ever think that your brokenness intimidates or disgusts God. Don't ever believe the lie that He thinks of you as a lowly servant groveling at His throne every time you come to ask him for help. He is our loving Father, Who is kneeling in front of us with His arms stretched wide. And we, His long lost children, should not be afraid to run into His embrace. <3
Tomorrow is Mittens' surgery. I don't know how it will go. But no matter what happens-- I know and believe that God loves me, and His ways are best. No matter the pain I go through, or the sadness, or even the loss--
And God's not done with you. Even at your worst... God will never be done with you. He will never turn you away. There is no brokenness that He can't redeem.
