𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚅𝙴 𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚂𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙴𝚇𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙻𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙲𝙴. before she knew you were real, or before she realized what you were –––– even in death, cars driving too close to sidewalks make you nervous, give you a phantom pain where you think your heartbeat would be. it’d skip, if it could, because even if you’re dead, you still feel ( metaphorically, at least ) fear. you’d seen her walk a little too close to edge of the road, a distracted driver going just a bit too fast.
𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈, 𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙴. you know that now, a few weeks after getting to know her, the girl with the fire inside her, quite literally, who knew who you were. she’s been more than a friend, not quite a lover, but you know the signs; the two of you are at full speed, and you knew that you’ve already fallen for her. you had the moment she yelled at you for possessing her in the first place –––– not because of the invasiveness of the whole thing, but because she had everything under control. she was just as fiery in spirit as she was in actuality.
𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝙷𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙾 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙴. you’ve thought about it, of course, possessing someone, just to be able to feel something again. but you never considered her, not knowing how it would shift the dynamic; would there be a power difference if you did that? would you start to view her as simply a vessel? the logical part of you knows she would never, ever let you have any sort of god complex above her. the not logical part of you worries anyways.
𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃, but your mind is already made up. a shake of the head, a small smile, because even if you’re rejecting her offer, you’re still honored that it came from her, of all people. ❝ that’s… ridiculously kind of you, atty, but i can’t do that –––– i don’t really know how possession works, i don’t wanna fuck it up, not with you. ❞
@pistollips: you can share a body with me, if you want.
when you love, you love hard. it starts from the moment you become aware of someone’s existence, with very little room for change or grey area. you don’t really count when you actually first met him as your first impression, though. your real first impression of cooper roberts was, ironically, from a tiktok audio. admittedly, a thirst trap, if someone wants to call it that. and it wasn’t necessarily not your type of music. and as you looked into him a bit more, you saw he put meaning in his music, stood up for what was right ... plus, he was super hot. you filed him in your mental list of celebrities you’d love to meet, fuck and befriend, and moved on. until he died.
when you heard of his death, it fucking stung. another promising young figure, lost to addiction. well, a car accident, but considering he was drunk ... the media framed it as addiction. and you figured they were right. you’re not even famous by real standards, just known of, and addiction rules your life more than you like to let on. you wished you could’ve met him.
and you got to !! just not in the way you were expecting, nor at the time you were expecting. one second you were scrolling through twitter, on the way to grab some coffee, and the next your body was moving on its own with this weird feeling coursing through you. you don’t like being scared, so you reacted in anger. without an idea how, you kicked the entity out of your body and informed it that it had some fuckin’ explaining to do. but as it appeared in front of you, explained its intentions, your heart jumped into your throat. it was him. still pissed, even more confused, you insisted that you had yourself under control. didn’t need saving from a dead person. and maybe saying it out loud was what made it really click for you.
cooper roberts saved your life. maybe. you still figure you’d have been fine, because the idea of your own mortality seems so far, but even still. you can put at least a little bit of your pride aside for him. you can more than that aside. parasocial relationships are bullshit, but at least you were right all along about him. he’s a good guy. and he’s even more hot in the flesh ... or ... in the ... ectoplasm?
you offer yourself to him. you’ve got nothing better to do. and he’s being humble... and sweet. he doesn’t want to risk anything. he’s still trying to protect you. so you roll your eyes at him. ❝ i don’t need you to protect me, remember? ❞ except you do. you do need him. maybe not for protection in the way he’d think, but you need him. and how things are, you never have to worry about his safety. about fucking things up on your end, at least with that. with everyone else, there’s always that chance... when emotions run high, and items around you burst into flames. when someone is charging at you, and your hands fly up, and just like that their neck is snapped and they’re lying on the floor, eyes wide open, jaw slack, blood--
❝ you did it before and it was fine. what if you did it just .. temporarily? like, a special occasion thing? who would be better than me to let you try it out? ❞ he’d be better off not answering that, lest you get jealous.
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